[Rosondo]

I have heard therapists refer to as people or relationships as "toxic." You mother is toxic. This relationship is toxic. Your boss is toxic. Etc.

I've read it in psych books too. People don't use the term consistently either. I can't quite understand if it refers to people with certain severe forms of personality disorders (which?), to very manipulative people, to very damaging abuse, etc.

I don't like the term because it's not specific but sounds scary. Anybody know what it means exactly?

[tealBumblebee]

I imagine that it means "hazardous to your well being".

i.e. Your mother could be manipulative/abusive/codependent/etc.
i.e. The relationship you share is not healthy or productive for either of you.
i.e. Your boss is causing you unneeded distress/misappropriating his/her power.

[shezbut]

Toxic relationship- Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, and abuse in the workplace.

Source: Wikipedia

[gayleggg]

Thank goodness for Wikipedia. Thanks for looking that up Shez. Great discription.

[MuseumGhost]

Yes, agreed, gaylegg.

They could also be people who simply are a complete drain on all your resources and energy. They are difficult to deal with, and they wipe you out.

And remember---toxic people quite often try to project their toxicity around on you, blaming you for the exact bad behaviours/ foul attitudes that they, in fact, possess. It's an extreme form of abuse, in my opinion, because it really messes with you.

It took me years to give myself permission to actually distance myself from the most toxic people I know (several individuals in my family). It was extremely helpful to be able to admit that they were in fact responsible for an awful lot of damage done in my life.

I don't hate them---but I certainly also don't give them opportunities to mess with my head anymore, either.

When I DO need to interact with them, I do a lot of "mindfullly responding" kind of things (being very careful what I say, and why), and I severely limit my exposure to them.