[ilikedesifem]

However, I'm not afraid of hard work as everything worth doing must result from it.

Even still, I get weighed down since I think I am subject to too many double standards and get singled out.

if i don't smile to people, people say I am "wrong" or bad" but then people hardly ever do this despite society saying it's good.

And it's been happening all of my life really. Even though I left school at 16 (normal in my country) almost 19 years ago, I was often vilified for talking about sport and music and to talk about politics when very few others did.

And now, I get told by many people everyday falsehoods and double standards. It's as if people are conspiring against me.

[saw_q]

life must go on. Even thousand say so. The important thing is you. You decide what to do you in life. So be positive, and don't keep in heart and mind. Just cary on. ok?

[Hellion]

Its impossible and probably unhealthy to be positive 100% of the time. Perhaps a more realistic pact would serve you better. For instance make an effort to be more positive for sure, but remember its ok to feel sad, upset or bad about things just try to remember the positives as well.

[Perna]

One thing that helps me is remembering we are one person and there are a lot of other people out there. My stepson is very very tall and "everyone" wants to know how tall he is and thinks nothing of intruding on his personal space and asking. They do not think about the fact that everyone is asking, not just them; they just see themselves asking, one-on-one. For the person getting spoken to, it is "everyone" telling us to smile or everyone thinking we should do X or Y. When we are talking to/about other people we should remember we are not the only ones and we should be careful of the individual's privacy and think of them as an individual, not as someone-who-does-not-smile-that-I-must-tell; when other people are talking to us, we should remember it is just those we are around and relate to, not the whole world.

My stepson had to go to a bank manager once as the clerk who should have been processing his deposit was asking him his private business (commenting on his person/asking how tall he was, etc.) instead of doing her work, his banking for his business. In some cases it is easy to bank elsewhere if we don't like the service, to make different friends if ours are always putting us down, etc. but sometimes it can be good to pay attention to the number of people telling us to smile (usually only people who know us or are use to us; strangers wouldn't know if we normally smile or how we look/are) or asking us "what's wrong?" as it lets us know how our world is perceiving us that is different from how they normally perceive us and can clue us into something we are not aware of (I knew I needed to go back to therapy because my dentist noticed I was not smiling and asked "what's wrong", one of a dozen who had done that recently).

If one is around school leavers, one does not hear "you should have stayed in school" but if one applies for a job where most people are more educated, we'll hear "you don't have enough education". A lot of comments to us are not particularly personal? It is just about the group that is normally around the person making the comment. Figuring out where the other person is coming from can tell us how much attention to put on the comment. I really liked and respected my dentist so when someone I had not seen for awhile notices I am not smiling, that is good information and I quit fooling myself that I was just going through a rough patch and it would straighten out and quit procrastinating about finding a therapist. But, if some clerk in a government agency or shop keeper makes a comment to me, that probably tells me more about them or their surroundings or the people they meet in general? Not everything said to us is about "us".