[winterglen]

My supervisor at work is the same age as me, except she is very much a grown-up. She works full time, is married and has two kids, and takes on a gamut of responsibilities. She started at the library right after college, where she probably got all A's because she took her classes seriously.

If you put my supervisor and me side-by-side, you could say that she made all the right decisions, while I just coasted by, using my "mental illness" as an excuse not to accept responsibility. I put mental illness in quotes because some people have accused my real mental illness is "being a selfish, entitled little snot," and that if I got my act together, got married and had kids, I'd have my priorities straight.

They might be right that I am a selfish priss. I'm sure they're right. It just seems bizarre that having kids I don't want will teach me responsibility. That's a horrible way to view kids: as a punishment and a life lesson for me to learn not to be so selfish. They would suffer just as much with this experiment in me building character.

Whatever my mental issues are, having a family to take care of is not going to solve them, nor are they going to give me a purpose or an epiphany or any of that crap. Kids can be a blessing for many people, but I'm not one of those people who would see them as a blessing: I'd see them as a huge responsibility. I admit that I tend to make the wrong choices, but I'd rather not drag kids or a husband or family into my wrong choices.

[-jimi-]

People are narrowminded. For some, a family is indeed the meaning of life. My parent has nagged me forever to get a family and kids because he KNOWS it will make me happy. He also wants unmarried people to marry so they can be happy even if they state they want to live like they do.

It's hard to change some people's ideas. I stopped trying. I would not be happy having kids. The government would take them away by the way..... I can't stand people around me but magically you can stand them if you are related.. right... that is why I rarely see my family???...

They need to learn we're different with different needs.

[healingme4me]

I can respect your decision, there. And I applaud you, for recognizing, at least, that children aren't some miracle cure, to teach responsibility/what have you. That is more mature of a point of view, than those stating to you, that maybe if you settle down and have kids, you'll be less like the negative aspects that they don't seem to like about you. Or, as you eloquently placed in 'quotes', your mental illness.

[lizardlady]

Being married and/or having kids is not for everyone. Good for you for realizing that. And thank you for not having kids just because other people think you should. Kids are a huge responsibility.

[Hellion]

in your situation not having kids is probably the responsible choice...doesn't seem like an excuse to avoid responsibility.

[too SHy]

you show a great sense of reality, and responsibility. Some women think having a baby, being married, etc. will solve everything. Worse is if things are going badly, have another baby. That makes things a million times worse.