[Arethusa]

Lately (months) I've been feeling kind of dissatisfied with my life. Currently I have no college degree (I started -- have not yet finished), work a minimum wage job, have a boyfriend of two years but not sure where we are going in terms of the future.

I'm 24 but I feel as if I should have accomplished more things at this age. If things had gone as planned, I would have gotten my degree two years ago. I would have gotten a better, higher paying job. And have the means to have a family.

Lately (the point of this post) I've been wanting to have a kid (I got pregnant with my boyfriend's child a year and three months ago but we got an abortion. I really regret it and miss the child tremendously) It makes me notice kids (Kids that you see on in public) more and makes me ache for them.

But anyway, I've been looking back at my life thus far. I'm so confused. Not sure how my life is going to turn out. I wish I could get ahold of a crystal ball so that I can look into the future -- twenty, ten, even five years from now. Just to get a glimpse of what is to come...

But there is some light up ahead. I am starting classes next semester and will hopefully be earning my bachelor's degree in a year and a half (due to my prior college credits).

Anyway, the point is.. is this a midlife crisis? Or am I just being extraordinarily reflective?

[kittlies]

This is what's called a quarter life crisis. It's a thing.

[reesecups]

I experienced the same type of thing around your age. I always thought of it as a youthful, mid-life crisis. You sound like you know what you need to do. You're young and have a long life ahead, focus on what you can do now for your future, and don't compare your life with a schedule in your or someone else's head as to where you should be. We're all different and unique. Some accomplish a lot early, some do it later in life. Some may be happy not accomplishing a lot. That's all okay. Take Care

I'm in a midlife crisis. It's not a midlife crisis. That happens after you have committed yourself to something for better or worse and then you realize you're halfway to death, being in shape is harder, and you better start thinking about whether that thing you decided to do for 20 years is really the legacy you want to leave.

I don't know what the name for what you are going through is but I went through the same thing. It took me 5000 miles from home in a tiny hatchback with a bike on my roof. No friends where I ended up. Just knew I needed to leave. I wanted to experience more. Just like you I went back and got my degree, career and now here I am

[shezbut]

(((Arethausa)))

It sounds like you've grown a bit, and you are now feeling a bit frustrated with the path that you were on before. Maybe your bf is looking at life differently than you, and doesn't have quite the same plans.

Honestly, no, I wouldn't refer to what you've described as midlife crisis. You are still so young. I personally believe that midlife crisis doesn't necessarily strike us when we are around 40.... but I do believe that midlife crisis consists of huge emotional, financial and often physical problems occurring during these times in our lives. As we get older, our lives very often become rather complicated.

During the midlife period, we are more aware of how quickly our parents are approaching their later years... we see how quickly time flies, and can easily name many that we cared about who have already passed away. It's complex ~ lots of levels.

Please don't think that I am minimizing your experience. I am not trying to do that at all. I am very sorry that you have been struggling so much with the decision that you made over one year ago. Have you talked with anyone in your world about how you've been feeling about the decision that you made & your difficulty in seeing other babies since that occurred? Like family, friends, a therapist,...? I think that linking up with another woman or two, like yourself (who are wanting to work towards their goals), could be very helpful. Women need to hold onto their friends ~ whether in a romantic relationship or not. We often tend to lose our friendships, while men rarely ever do. A common result of this is sort of losing "ourselves" in the romance.

Go back to school, if that's what you want to do.
Make some friends of your own.
Follow your dreams with a little bit of reality thrown in, to keep you out of la-la land.
Enjoy your triumphs, and reward yourself.
Learn from your mistakes..but don't kick yourself down. Just remind yourself to apply this knowledge in the future.

I think that it's great that you've already gotten some of your education credits out of the way! That makes the path to ______ that much shorter.

I was around your age when I finally decided to go to college. I never regretted waiting until then to go either ~ as the many that I saw coming straight from high school weren't emotionally committed to learning. In my opinion, I think that it is best to wait until one is ready & wants to be there. Because that is when people do great in school! That's when we excel and we enjoy learning. Those were some of the very best years that I've had so far in my life. Honestly!

Best wishes to you ~ take care!

I don't see that you've made a mess of things, I mean you're working, you're earning a degree and you've been with your boyfriend for over 2 years. These are accomplishments many people don't achieve so actually I think you're doing quite well. Try not to give into pressure too much, you're only human and you're going to experience spells of confusion like this. Just keep on keeping on and give yourself credit where it's due.

[Arethusa]

Thank you all for those encouraging and extremely kind words.
I guess that I am being a bit too hard on myself. It's just... sometimes I feel old. I feel as if my life is speeding by rather rapidly and I am sitting on the sidelines, not able to do anything to change it..

[saw_q]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

Thank you all for those encouraging and extremely kind words.
I guess that I am being a bit too hard on myself. It's just... sometimes I feel old. I feel as if my life is speeding by rather rapidly and I am sitting on the sidelines, not able to do anything to change it..

well Arethusa,
actually am new here. but can i add some more, maybe you will have some idea to carry on the life. Well 24?? well it is full of youth energy. ha ha. gratitude for it. you got alot thing you can do in your age. if me at 24 again. hmm.. i will rocks the world again he he..

hmm.. well forget what i say. what you gonna do is more important. coz you gonna drive your life. As me and old-man which i am 34 right now. my suggestion is stay up with your study, focus on that. Coz after this you gonna face the reall life. real life coz money. You got to rent house. buy food. buy cloth. internet and etc ect.. if you don't have good job. it will be sucked. painful luck...

so focus on your study. make it finished properly. Life become more easy when you plan it. what next and next. so focus okay??. okay, A middle age problem is normal. any teenage going to adult always face this matter. so plan. the more you plan, the more you solve problem in life. so that's it. hope you will be cheerful again. coz life it not for us to regret but to enjoys it. ok. thats all. thanks.

saw_q.
hehe