[Progman]

Hello,
I am new here & I 'hope' I am posting this in the right place.

My problem (or I should say one of my problems) is that ALL through my life (I am in my early 50's) I have always started projects, etc & never completed them.
It is so frustrating & has ruined my life! I don't know why I do this with everything (from reading books to my education!)
Why do I do this & how can I stop??!!

Thank you.
Progman

[manwithnofriends]

Really? You've never completed your education? You don't remember any grades from school or any graduation certificates?

A lot of times it is due to fear of completion or success. That might be a place to start.

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[MoxieDoxie]

My husband has always said I have fear of success. It is easier to stay at the bottom. Less expectations, less chances of confrontations, less chances of getting overwhelmed. Every time I get close to succeeding I find a way to sabotage it.Working on my self esteem, my confidence, competing smaller tasks will help me complete bigger projects in the future I hope. Therapy has helped me immensely. I plan on trying to take college classes again next year. We will see.

[cool09]

My illness prevents me from starting and finishing projects. I get drained mentally and physically very fast. I have no idea how I finished college. I thought getting a degree and entering the working World would change my problems but they just got worse. I custom-finished a guitar over the last 2 yrs and played the guitar but all of that took forever. (Lose interest in playing very quickly.) Changing oil in my car is a huge chore. I hate all of it. Do psychiatrists care about any of this? Right.

[Perna]

You have to realize there is no one else in your life but you and decide to do whatever, no matter how hard, for you. It's a habit thing and will be really difficult since you have practiced the opposite for so long but it is very doable. I realized when I was 41, in the middle of an accounting final, when I caught myself wishing I had studied just a little harder, that I was the only one being affected; my mother, professor, husband, friends, etc. did not care if I did well, just me. I made myself do my homework, made myself engage in what I had chosen/was doing and got straight A's from then on.

Originally Posted by Perna

You have to realize there is no one else in your life but you and decide to do whatever, no matter how hard, for you. It's a habit thing and will be really difficult since you have practiced the opposite for so long but it is very doable. I realized when I was 41, in the middle of an accounting final, when I caught myself wishing I had studied just a little harder, that I was the only one being affected; my mother, professor, husband, friends, etc. did not care if I did well, just me. I made myself do my homework, made myself engage in what I had chosen/was doing and got straight A's from then on.

It probably is a boot strap solution for many people but not everybody. At work where it isn't personal I learned exactly what you are talking about. But in my personal life I am terrified of putting certain things out there. I.E. Submitting artwork or starting a business or money issues and that keeps me from completing stuff. It looks irresponsible to people I know and that makes me want to hide away even more. Just my experience.

[danvb]

My personality type is INFP. Another person with the same personality type laughed and said INFP=I Never Finish Projects. Boy! Ain't THAT the truth! When I start a project I'm very excited about it and study and learn everything I can about it, and then once I've gotten it all figured out I quickly tire of it, become very bored with it... and leave it unfinished. To me, figuring everything out and seeing it completed in my mind is all I seem to need. Yeah... Once I've satisfied myself that I've gotten something all figured out and completed in my mind, I'm done with it... and then I move on to the NEXT big project and the NEXT big challenge. It took me over SIX YEARS to build my house... and the only reason that I sort of finished it was because my wife and I became pregnant. And since we'd been living in a 23 foot travel trailer for all of those six years...

Yeah, otherwise it probably would STILL be unfinished. And my daughter is now 27.

If anyone else has this problem and has figured out how to get passed it, I'm certainly all ears!

Dan