[speedbird]

I've been through so many struggles with my OCD. I'm sure you all have been through similar things. Anyway, because of my suffering, I find that I'm increasingly unable to relate to other people. While other people are sitting down, talking, and pretending everything is alright, I'm wondering how they are able to do that.

I have such a dark sense of humour. To illustrate, in order to cope with suicidal thoughts, I make jokes about suicide. If I get delusional and think that I'm a child molester/rapist, I'll start making jokes about that. Anything to help me cope.

Before, I used to be such an idealistic young kid. I used to be so religious. Nowadays, I hate the notion of God, and I sometimes curse my parents for bringing me into this world. But usually I love them so much.

[1776]

Under the burden of medication I am no longer a jerk. Without meds I was a complete ***hole. Psychosis also had something to do with the change in my personality.

[speedbird]

Medication hasn't done much for me, aside from making me sleepy all the time.

For me, (still not agreeing with a diagnosis a long time ago, of bipolar), my depression has put me in those kinds of situations, where everyone seems not to notice all the horrible things I was thinking of, and I don't think I was a real jerk a lot, but I could make flippant comments that made me seem like a jerk.