[bptoo]

All,

Every great once in awhile I disassociate with my surroundings. I would imagine that everyone does it to some degree even if it's only once in their lives. Maybe I should explain what I'm calling disassociation.

For me, it's being in very familiar surroundings with people you've known for a very long time, but everything and everyone seems like you've never seen them before. I hope that's the right description for it.

This has happened to me before, but this time it's exceptionally bad. My lack of recognition is so bad that it has scared me. I took the day off from work. I know my wife and kids, but they seem almost like strangers to me. I took me a very long time to remember where I had the link for this site. Yesterday I logged on in hopes of distracting myself, and wrote a reply to someone (can't remember to who or where) but the reply was about three lines long, and because my hands were shaking so bad. it took over a half hour to write. I'm going to try to answer some posts today and see if that will help me reconnect a little today. The shaking seems to have stopped.

I'm hoping that someone here knows about what I'm going thru, maybe some personal experience, and can share what they've done to work thru this? Any help would be appreciated. I'm posting this to the Health forum too.

Many thanks,
Greg

[Rapunzel]

I dissociate just a little bit. For me it's more like just spacing out - I'm looking right at someone or something, but I'm not there and I don't see them. Some thought has gotten so intense that I forgot where I was. People ask me what I'm staring at or why I am staring at them, but I'm looking straight through them. Doesn't happen really often and it isn't that difficult for me to come back.

What has happened to you seems to bother you quite a bit. Reading and answering posts here sounds like a good idea to work on reconnecting. I think you should also talk to a professional about it though. I hope you feel better soon.

-Wendy

<font color=orange>"Everyone has a need for significance; and if we can't make that possible, or even probable, in our society, then it will be obtained in destructive ways." -Rollo May</font color=orange>

[bptoo]

I have a call in to my T Wendy. Thanks for answering. You're right, this does worry me quite a bit. I'm hoping I'll hear back from him in the next hour or two.

Thank you so much for being a good friend!

Greg

[dexter]

that happens to me often when i'm driving. i don't forget where i'm going, i just suddenly don't know how to get there. and it's not like i don't recognize the road i am on either, i just can not "picture" in my mind what that road connects to and how it leads me to where i'm going.

usually i just forge ahead and hope something will pick up to bring me back "in" but sometimes i have to pull over and really visualize the route in my head, and it is very frustrating and disconcerting. this doesn't happen on the way to placed i go every day, but it is not only on few-and-far-between trips either. someplaces that i go every week or every two weeks this happens on.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} It's happened to me, too. I remember one time, I was going to my therapist's for an appointment and when I came to a major intersection that I knew as well as the palm of my hand, suddenly I didn't know where I was. Got all turned around and scared. I knew that I knew the intersection so I think in the back of my mind, I knew it would pass. The light turned green and I went for about a block and then everything became familiar to me again.

When I told my therapist what had happened. I know she vaidated my fear but I remember her talling me that your brain goes on automatic pilot. She said that I would have found my way there, anyway. Dang! I wish I could remember the rest of what she said!

When I was in the hospital a couple of years ago, I was rooming with a girl that dissociated quite a bit. Sometimes I could talk her out of it but sometimes she'd be at the front desk asking for help; depending on the severity of it, I think. That was her diagnosis, though; "dissociative disorder." Don't know what other problems she had.

I think it's brought on by too much stress. Your therapist will have a good answer for you. Answering posts here is a good way to stay connected. If you're at home when it starts to happen, have your wife talk to you and keep you in the now, Sweetie.

In the meantime, you're in my heart. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[bptoo]

Dave & Tomi,

Thanks for the replies. Man, I feel real lucky that this happened to me at home. It could be terrifying to be outside driving and suddenly not know where you are. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I'm glad that others here have experienced this. Kind of nice to not feel alone with this.

Thanks for writing back!
Greg

[angel04]

It's a scary thing to have happen, I know. It's happened to me before. Actually, last week. I was at work, where I've worked for over 4 months and I was walking from my station to the washroom in the back of the store and all of a sudden, I had no idea where i was or why I was there. I kind of spun around and tried to connect with something and then someone said "hey, what's up" and I just as suddenly came back to myself. It was a short episode but scary as hell so I can't imagine what it would feel like if it lasted a while like yours seems to have.
Big hugs hunny. Let me know if you want me to call you this afternoon. It might ground you a bit. I wanna help if I can.
love ya
T

"man's belief that he is the only intelligent being has not done him good" JRR Tolkien

[bptoo]

Hi T,

I'm not at work today, I thought it would be a better idea to stay home an get grounded a bit. I have to take Brandon to a Dr's appt in a little while. I appreciate the offer of a call, you always are there for me when I need you. Damn it, I think I'm just going to keep you!!!! This will pass, it's just been real scary. Thanks for writing me, and I'm looking forward to our call later in the week!

Love you tonnes,
Greg

[angel04]

well you'll get that call, I promise. Take care of yourself and I think spending some time with Brandon might just help you out more than anything else.
you know I love ya and I'm here for you anytime.
hugs
T

"man's belief that he is the only intelligent being has not done him good" JRR Tolkien

[bptoo]

Just talked to my T. He said that posting here was a very good idea. He knows I moderate here. His suggestion was to put things on my computer desk (it's very large) that are very familiar to me. Such as pictures of the family, my wallet, car keys, pocket change, anything that I use or look at on a daily basis. So I'm giving it a shot. We'll see what happens.

Thanks for the support gang!

Greg

[Fuzzybear]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I hope you feel better soon sweetie,
Love ya,
Bear xxxxx

[stargazer]

Greg;
I've had several clients in the past few years that described symptoms such as yours. It turned out that some of them were actually having some seizure activity. I'm not saying that there is an organic cause to your symptoms, but it might be worth checking out with a physician/neurologist. Just a thought.
Mark

Though inland far we be,
Our souls have sight of that immortal sea
Which brought us hither.
William Wordsworth (1770–1850)

[inkblot]

Hey, dear, wish I had some good advice to offer you, but all I can is that I've been there. I feel like that most when I have a migraine. I don't have a lot of migraines, thankfully, but it can be hard to put up with. I wait it out and hope for the best. Hope it gets better for you soon, BP. I'm sure it's awkward feeling and maybe kind of frustrating for you.

[bptoo]

stargazer,

I would have never even considered this to be a possibility. I am pretty much back to normal (whatever that is) this morning. This is a very random event, and doesn't happen very often. Maybe once a year, if that. I'm seeing a neurologist for ongoing back pain, and have an appt the first part of next week. I'll discuss this with him then. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I'll be sure to let you know what he says.

All my best to you,
Greg

[(JD)]

I agree stargazer. The description of dissociation was somewhat different from the many feelings true dissociation gives... and I was thinking seizures also. Hopefully, the doc will have a handle on it, and won't assume it's one thing or another, but check it out.

<font color=blue>...I can misspeak like the best of us</font color=blue>

[Willow]

Sounds a bit like a TIA, which is a mini-stroke. Have you had this possibility checked out?

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece...but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out and defiantly shouting "Wow! What a ride!"