[MotownJohnny]

I'm trying to explore the rationality of the big fears that brought me to the point I have actively considered suicide. IF I can conquer these fears, I think I have a shot in life.

This is a big one -- "they're going to lock me up and throw away the key because I'm crazy". I know they don't do that any more -- it's not like it's 1914, when that happened.

And, I also know, it's pretty much up to me - that would only happen if I went off the deep end and tried to kill myself and failed. Even then, they wouldn't and couldn't lock me up forever, just for a while.

Then, there is the concept that I would be "danger to others" -- I have no worries about that, whatsoever, I'm a pretty nice guy and have no violent tendencies. Never have, never will. Off myself, sure. Hurt someone else, never. So, not a factor.

Now, if I lost it, would my family try and have me declared incompetent? I don't know, they might, I don't know if I can trust them or not. Which sucks, but c'est la vie. I know I would fight that with everything I have.

So, how likely is that to happen? Probably pretty unlikely, I'll give it a 2 on a 0 to 10 scale.

Conclusion: IRRATIONAL.

[gayleggg]

Sounds like you have done a pretty good job of answering your own question. Good logical thinking. Way to go.

[A Red Panda]

If even if you went inpatient, it isn't locking you up. You're right that it's an irrational fear - and you're already working through it!

And another fairly logical conclusion to help: don't try to kill yourself. If you don't attempt it, then you can't fail, and thus can't have a hospital show concern for your wellbeing. Thinking "then I have to make sure to do it right" is less logical than not attempting, because there's ALWAYS some chance that you'll survive and paralyze yourself or something. And there's the added benefit of always having something to stop you from trying! It's a win/win!

[Yoda]

Your family could require a judge to admit you for a psychiatric assessment but it is the psychiatrist whose opinion matters, not your family's. If you are not considered a danger to yourself or others you would be discharged and sent home after the psych assessment. You don't lose any rights for an evaluation.

You do lose some rights if after the evaluation the pdoc advises to admit you to a state psychiatric hospital for extended treatment but that is uncommon and you sound much too stable to require that.

[poeticdemon]

This made me smile. And that's because you sound like a funny and overall pleasant person. Anyone who was a party to someone else's happiness has a shot or more in life. Good Luck!

The thing is, you would only be sectioned in pretty extreme circumstances - and then of course it's regularly reviewed, it has to be by law. If you were able to view the situation from a rational viewpoint you'd probably want to be medicated and taken care of. After all sectioning isn't about imprisonment it's about patient safety. They want to keep you alive and will do their utmost to make sure you don't want it any other way. So perhaps this is a question of quality of care? If you go to a hospital with a good track record and proven success rates I don't see what problems lie ahead. Voluntary patients usually have a lot of freedom and low observation so there's plenty of time to get on with recovery and ask any questions you need to. You should also be able to request a copy of your treatment plan at any time if you have concerns.

My advice would be to pick a hospital with a good, busy programme so that most of the time you'll be too preoccupied to catastrophize.

[shezbut]

It sound like you've covered the factors rationally, which actually makes me worry that you have made other plans. Am I being paranoid, and seeing things that aren't there, or do I have good reason to fear for your safety??