[speedbird]

Note: Most of the things that I am about to write have already been written in another thread.

Growing up as a kid with OCD, Tourette's, and a problem with bed wetting, there was something clearly wrong with me. I was WAY too oversensitive. I took constructive criticism and advice as "abuse". And then when I reacted like it was abuse, I was yelled at. This partly ruined my relationship with my brother.

I also had undiagnosed OCD back then. It's been diagnosed about 2 years ago. Anyway, I had obsessions with fictional characters. I was particularly obsessed with UNHAPPY, traumatized fictional characters. This obsession led to the compulsion of ACTING like those unhappy, traumatized characters. This also created tension with my brother, and led to my low self esteem which I still have today.

Nowadays, I'm still not doing so well. And I'm thinking, "Where were my parents 6 or 7 years ago? Where was anybody about 6 or 7 years ago?" Why was I the one who had to do all the research myself, and ask my parents to get diagnosed? Why did my family react with disappointment and anger at my OCD, when they could have reacted any other way? Would I have become a different person if I got help all those years ago?

[Catmom3]

You titled this thread, "Help will only arrive when it's too late"... why do you feel that way?

Originally Posted by speedbird

Nowadays, I'm still not doing so well. And I'm thinking, "Where were my parents 6 or 7 years ago? Where was anybody about 6 or 7 years ago?" Why was I the one who had to do all the research myself, and ask my parents to get diagnosed? Why did my family react with disappointment and anger at my OCD, when they could have reacted any other way? Would I have become a different person if I got help all those years ago?

Those are difficult questions, and it would be nice if we could have answers to things like that. I have wrestled with such questions myself.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and ADD when I was nine, but didn't really receive sufficient treatment for it.

I clearly had other issues going on, and those were not being treated either. Throughout highschool I could have really benefitted from some serious mental health treatment, but none was made available.

Would I have been different now? Would I have my **** together at this point? Would I be "successful" or "happier"?

maybe. maybe not.
I won't ever know. I actually suspect the bizarre path my life has taken, for better or worse, has made me into who I am today. If a lot of the things that I used to bemoan had never happened, or had turned out differently, I would not have the perspectives I now am able to take.

And I'm pretty damn awesome, so... while I have sat in the past and been pretty darn angry at my parents [and it actually sound like they had a lot more solid information regarding my psychological profile than yours may have]...I had to let it go.

It's not then, I'm not who I was.
I am who I am now. There is no going back.
Even if I could have solid answers to those questions, it isn't like I can change what was- I can only take on what is happening now.

Empowering myself with that perspective has been pretty integral to the stability, self confidence and sense of self worth I have developed at this point.

I am 31. I have been demonstrating very strong symptoms and behavioral patterns of OCD since before ten years old.
I was DX'd with Pure OCD about two and a half years ago [give or take, my concept of time is crap].

I do have to say, when that happened and treatment focused more on THAT, things started to turn around.

But feeling crappy thinking about what may have been?
It pretty much taints everything you do NOW and TODAY.

People likely reacted the way they did when you were growing up because they only had their perspective to go off of and didn't know what you know now. If they reacted in a way different than you hope at the diagnosis you recieved, it is because they are human. Parents want what is best for their child. When I child is diagnosed with something beyond the norm- it indicates the possibility of a more difficult life. Denial, disappointment, frustration, fear, anxiety... all of these may be felt.
The way they manifest can vary. Sometimes people feel if you bury the label, you bury the problems.

I am sometimes frustrated that things weren't different when I was younger and at some of the choices my parents made.

I don't know what I would have done in their position though, and to say I DO know exactly what I would have done is a lie. I don't know what they did or did not see.

You have knowledge now, speedbird.
It is a very powerful tool.
Use it to change anything you want.

[Junerain]

I think I would have been a different person, too, had my family been supportive when I needed them to be...I have found deep, true friendships, and I feel, because we have the power to choose our friendships, whereas we do not with our family, we can choose friendships that build us up, encourage us to be all that we can be. Perhaps you will end up a stronger person because of your family, perhaps you will do great things in life The possibilites are endless.. I met my friends in a support group, a national one, let me know if you would like the link to find a support group near you, I feel, support groups are very condusive to finding and maintaining true friends.....

Thinking of you I wish you the best, always

[speedbird]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

I remember my fight I had with my friend. I think he has a point. Looking back on all my posts, I've been so negative and bitter.

I think I need to change.