[desirae]

I was in Sociology class when the teacher mentioned how crucial it was for a families unity and development is based on eating meals together at the table. She said that statistically families who eat meals together suffer less from divorce, drug use, and emotional and mental illnesses.

It made me think of when I was a child and our meals were eaten alone in our bedroom with the television keeping us company. My little sister and I ate all our meals together, but the television kept us from conversation.

The teacher also mentioned that the majority of juvenile offenders never ate meals at the table with their families. It made me think of myself, and my history as a juvenile.

My children and I have always eaten in front of the T.V saying nothing. I have a plastic picnic table in my living room for my children to eat on. We always had problems of the babies not eating properly and remaining grumpy during the day, probably from being hungry. I never thought about it till that day in Sociology class.

Well I finally cleared the dining room table off, got rid of the radio, text books, and coats...and pulled the chairs down from the upstairs closet. For the past three days my children and I have been eating lunch and dinner together at the table. Ever since then my kids have been eating more, healthier, and have been less grumpy during the day. I also turn off the T.V and encourage the "What's this" game. The consequence of this little change is enormous already. I'm so glad I was able to have my eyes pried open in class. I owe Ms. Baily a great thanks.

If you don't eat meals with your family I recommend giving it a try.

[LMo]

This is beautiful, Desirae. This is a perfect example of the goals of education. I'm actually a verklemmt right now, and am really, really happy for you.

Nice to see you again, by the way. We've missed you

[desirae]

Thanks LMo

[nothemama8]

we have done this all my married life, and as a child my Grandmother always had dinner at the diningroom table, only way to do it

I personally don't believe not eating meals together is the key. see when I was growing everyone in my family ate at meals together all of them - breakfast lunch and dinner and there was plenty of talk going on around that table. but because the abuse and so on was happening outside of meal time having meals together and talking during mealtimes was not the solution. what went on beyond the meal table was the cause for divorces in the family, family members turning to drugs and alcohol and so on. It wasn't the lack of closeness at the meal tables that resulted in what was behind the divorces and so on.

The reason for the divorces in my family was the fact that those that once loved each other developed different interests in what love was and whether or not they wanted to spend the rest of their lives fighting in front of the children due to the fact that they were no longer in love with each other to the point of marriage.

The reason some members of my family chose drugs was not because of lack of eating meals together and lack of conversation on the topic= for our family talked often about drugs and alcohol and we also had drugs and alcohol talks in school. My family members turning to drugs and alcohol was that they CHOSE to try the drugs and alcohol with their friends due to peer pressure and liked the result of those drugs - euphoria, floaty hypnotic feelings.

Depression is a mental illness that runs in my family. that is not deturmmined based on whether or not people eat meals together and talk about that illness. Its a chemical imballance of the brain.

Cancer runs in my family and that is not determined by whether or not we ate at meals together and talked about that desease.
Statics are great for the target groups that are poled to be a part of that statistics study but they do not take into consideration each and every person in the wolrd so IN MY OPINION statistics can and are biased at times by who the people performing the study are tageting and poling..

Physical and mental health problems aside I believe that it is peoples CHOICES that lead to their having drugs and alcohol and divorce problems not whether or not they eat meals together.

myself..of course the fact that you did or did not eat meals as a family has little or nothing to do with the aspects of your life that you discussed in your post.....but i think that in general....meals shared around a table of a family is a good thing....

[LMo]

and if Desirae is seeing results, then I think it's a beautiful testament to the theory

lmo...lol..i guess thats what i was trying to say....and the same goes for others who might benefit from it

Yes I agree. one of the things I always wished my son could benefit from with my family was experiencing that closeness that my bitg family had at the table during meals including the holidays meals. being just him and I the conversations and topics and experience was just limited to him and I and our experiences together.

Eating meals together is definately a good thing.

Hi desirae,

What a great thing to post about! I believe that anything one can do to help nurture the bonds in a family is worth doing.

I spent many dinners alone(I'm even from a large family)as a child or didn't even eat at all. Occassionally I'd be invited to the neighbors and was shocked they were all sitting at the table together-- at the same time! I couldn't believe it-- I thought that was just done in "Hollywood"-- TV and movies. That's when I decided, when I have a family that's what we are going to do...... and.... we have done just that. We(hubby and two sons)have talked about anything and everything and have gotten to know each other in ways I don't think we would have otherwise.

Good luck to you in keeping up this tradition!

desirae and Ms. Baily--

[mrb020377]

we often dont eat together at the table, but in together in front of the tv. my kids complain why dont we sit at the table... i am thinking of making it a " no choice-sit at the table" dinner time!!!!!

[jennie]

desirae . . . I love reading your posts. You always have something thought provoking to say.

I agree with this thread. I wish my family would do this.

[Boopers]

Hi Desirae,

I totally agree with you. When I was growing up, we always ate meals at the dinner table and so when I got married and we had two sons, from the time they could sit on catalogs at the table, we ate together. Now, I am happy to say, both my sons and DIL'S and grandchildren have gone on with the tradition.

There is nothing but good that comes out of having meals together. We learned so many things about what was going on in our sons lives, as well as they learned about their relatives as we spoke about anything and everything.

I have heard of a study showing that parents that eat meals at the dinner table with their children have found that the children actually read better. Whether that is really true or not, I can't say, as I wouldn't know where to even look for that now. But, it sure can't hurt!!

Good for you and I am proud that you are taking this step with your children. We need to do all we can as parents to make sure our children are happy and healthy in every way.

Way to go,
Linda

[desirae]

Thanks all for your replies, they are nice. I was actually researching how eating meals effects a family, and although it seems simple, and maybe not life altering, it's the closeness and attention the children receive during this period that ultimately effects them. If you count all the meals, how long they were, over years and years, that is along time of individual and loving attention for the family as a whole. I personally believe this could help child and parent relationships, child to child, and husband and wife. Seriously....an estimated 100,000 hours spent together over 18 years. Think about it. I just wanted to say this.....just to say it I suppose..lol. Thanks all for your responses.

Yes, are still having meals together, and the new selections have began.