Internet family vs Real family

I dunno how I feel right now. Though ever since I've been on this website. I've been trapped in my room most of the time. I went out ot help mum with the shopping, it was good until she pushed my out of the way. To unpack the shopping, she said sorry. But I got pissed off with her because she pushed me into a little kid. When I was going to move out of the wave. Got angry at me. Then went to the car, she throwed the stuff at me. I said that she can but the %#@&#! trolley back, as I've got even angry when she starts to be nice then stressy with me. Then she wanted a hug and I didn't want, need or deserve one so I pushed her off. Then when we got back, five minutes in the car. She talked and said she doesn't like rejection that I do to the family which is already torn apart. I said sorry, I cried and so did she. We hugged. But I feel bad, guiltly and don't deserve anything. I'm a spoilt brat ***** and I don't want anything just to be left alone. My parents are cutting the internet off at 9 o'clock so I don't abuse it? That's the only thing to get away from it all. The fighting. Why is it that even when I'm out of the way there is still arguing? Hmm... my family are just different. I really want to change myself to be better and nicer to my family, but how when I've gotten too hurt to open my heart again. What can I do to make things right again?

I can explain this one .. see like my past my home life was a real bore people wouldnt see me as i wanted to be seen, somehow their was this short circut between who i am and who i want to be. The internet help fuel my issues in keeping me away from people. At one time in my life i lost almost everything i quit my job, friends, girlfriend (i wasnt married then), i wouldnt even shower, or go to the store. What would be normal food turn into fast food and junk.

The internet was what i wanted to be, sure i had issues with people in my group and things but here i was a co-finder and owner of a irc chat channel, and we had over 100 people in there at any givin time. I made lots of friends but even after a while they wondered how i was living and things if i was on so much.

I had to take a big step forward and first thing i had to do was cut my hours to certain times and start doing things i was suppose to and when it came time to see friends and family i had to stop thinking about being online. Here i woudl be with my gf and we about to have sex and i wanted to be online. I mean come on how messed up is that?

So the thing is ask yourself who are you online? Who are you offline? Understand while online seems like a goodplace to talk and be you .. put more into it in real life. Afterall with out real life theres no internet life something i had to learn.

Thats a good question amdx64. I'm the same person on/offline. Maybe it's the way I react to things. Like the internet is my addiction, like wise I did the same when I first came here as you. But it's like I have two familys here. The only question is Who would take care of you if you were ill?

Ill tell you something, as many here may or maynot say but if i had the chances you have today. I would be a whole different person while im happy with some of the things i did in life (even though im only 32) i would have made many more changes.

You have soo much ahead of you i wish i could explain it. You have sooo many choices that will be who you are in the future. Dont let a computer run your life. The internet might seem like its the place to be but when you need someone warm and cuddly a computer wont do it.

I got myself too involved in computers to where i left a life of being a semi hippie (which didnt believe in computers and things) to a business man. I worked on computers and became a tech, i maintained servers and things, i went business and companies to fix their stuff.

However while that seems all fine and dandy, at that time i was paid $150 USA (what is that about 80 something in British ponds) a hour, now today they have kids doing what i did and those jobs dont excist anymore. So dont always put your eggs in one basket in all cases. My life now is a mess .. you have alot of great things ahead of you and i hope you make choices you can stick with and enjoy .. how will you know you made the right choice. Youll know once you live it just remember theres always good with bad.

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Miss_A said: Why is it that even when I'm out of the way there is still arguing?

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Miss A,

That line tells me something, and it was like that in my birth family too. It tells me that - it's not your fault.

You just want things to be alright - anyone would.

Good thoughts, Myzen

huhhh...I wish it wasn't my fault. But it seems like everything is my bahaviour I just can't help it. The way I act, think, talk with out knowing it makes me sad. bump.

(((((((((((((((Miss A))))))))))))))))

Good thoughts, Myzen

((((((((Miss A))))))))),

Your real family is the one that has been with you since the beginning & will be there with you to the end. The relationship that we have there is who we really are in all situations. Even though at times we wish we could be different or that our family would be different. It is important to develop ourselves into a person who can get along in that life because they see & react to the real us.

There wasn't any internet let alone computers when I was young. I have to admit that I enjoyed being away from my family because it seemed like I could be who & what I wanted to be rather than reacting to my family. They weren't bad parents....just not what I imagined I would want my parents to be like.....therefore being away from them allowed me to sometimes be a different person than what I was around my parents. I guess it gives us a chance to develope different ideas & actions than what comes from home life. I always hated when I would come with other ideas then when back with parents they would always see me as I was without giving me a chance to use my different thoughts.

All areas in our life give us a chance to develop thinking, relationship skills, & attitudes that we find works for us in relating with others.....keeping what works & trying to change what doesn't.....that is what growing up is all about.

You have opportunities that many of us didn't while growing up......my life was school, neighborhood, church....pretty limited & not many outside relationships to draw from. Take the best from both & develop the person that you really want to be. In the long run you will have your own "real family" that you will have to make work.

Debbie

(((((((((((((((((eskielover))))))))))))))

I now realise that it's my real family will be there for me and my interne family to talk too?

sweete you can have both..

I have an online faimly, only when I need one.. and my real failmy is hte one I go to when I need to be hugged by a real person and when I need to have that tactial contact.. because we all do need to be touched every onece and awhile.. no matter how much we hate it..

and trust me at times I hate to be that way.. (long story)

You are doing wonderful in fiqureing this out..
I am very proud of you..

I'm addicted. Sorry to but in. I want a mum. And i want a Dad. I live with my Dad but he's nothing. He doesn't listen. I cried my heart out to him why i sit on here all day, why i have no motivation, why i want to axe my sister. He didn't help me. Just called me a lazy (insert horrid swearwords) like he does usually. This is my world; online.

Miss_A? Did you read carefully what Myzen said to you? I don't think so, Hun. Read it again slowly word by word, ok? I agree with him completely.