Conclusions

Yes, and thank you, Mellors.

Hi Jan,
(((((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
my heart goes out to you and everyone who has had the power to work taken away by health issues. there are times i really feel like just giving up on studying and fighting and its that terror of not 'making it' that keeps me going so i can in some small way imagine how painful it might be.
on the other hand i know that its not how much money you earn that gives you value as a person. its not terror that i wont have money that keeps me going. its terror that i might not be able to contribute to the world as much as i should be able to. (there might be some warped thinking in there somewhere but the point is that contributing to the world is the most important thing).
i think you already contribute a lot just by being on this site. the support you give is invaluable. i also like the ideas some other people have come up with though. especially the idea of maybe volunteering at something (im sorry i dont remember the name of the person who suggested that). i was thinking also if maybe getting out to do that sort of thing is a problem maybe you could focus on giving online support on sites like this using your compassion and your writing. plus there are many many creative things people can do such as make jewellry, cards, baskets etc. i even know one person who used to weave chairs for people on demand. you could try maybe doing something like that and selling it on e-bay if you wanted to have some income of your own. it might be even more fulfilling though (if you have a relatively comfortable income as it is) to donate any profits to whatever charity you would like. or just to donate whatever you make directly to charity. perhaps if you knit you could knit dolls for children who will not get christmas presents or send them to orphans in an african country of your choice. there are many organisations who can help you with details of things like that.
what gives us value as a person is the impact we have on others. and you already have a positive impact on many. i hope you can find the courage both to do what you can and to understand that that is all thats required of you. you dont have to have 'a proper paying job'.
please take care of yourself and remember you are precious.
biiv

((((((((((((((( biiv )))))))))))))))))

Your words touched me. Thank you so much.

Hugs,

Jan

(((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))