My life has never really taken off, and one of the main reasons for that is because of a severe lack of motivation. People need goals to work towards. They need to know that there is some kind of reward or benefit waiting for them to keep pushing ahead.

I've not felt motivation since... well, I would say not since I was in grade 5. By grade 6 I was beginning to stop putting even the minimum amount of effort into things, like not even bothering to do school assignments, or not trying in sports and not caring if we won or lost.

By the time grade 8 came around I was being homeschooled with a private teacher, but I would at times go a week with only doing a handful of assignments. Even when I'd get chased after by my parents or by the teacher to do the work I couldn't motivate myself to do it, and there were numerous weeks when all the teacher could do was drop off the lessons because I wasn't even meeting with her. The times I forced myself to I'd wind up having emotional breakdowns.

I'm 31 years old now and I still can't get motivated, and I know this is because there's nothing I want. There's no reward or goal to strive for.

There's no interest in taking vacations because even if there's somewhere I'm interested in, I wouldn't want to put up with all the people there. There's no 'toys' I want to buy for myself. I'm not interested in relationships - neither with relatives, friendships, or romantic ones.

Quite honestly it feels like all I want to do is either dream, or to be somewhere in nature without people.

I've been in therapy about coping with my past and dealing with negative feelings, tried antidepressants/anti-anxiety medications, supplements, exercise regimens, changing diet, meditation... many things over the years. At best they give only a very brief reprieve. One thing that's been recommended numerous times is to try doing charity work, but I have done this in the past. It just leaves me feeling exhausted, taken advantage of, and used. I didn't find it did anything positive for me at all.

I look at the world and all I think is "I don't want any of that", yet there's no way to escape it. Everywhere is claimed or owned by someone. There isn't anywhere you can go to be free and just exist.

I've been told before that this is an existential crisis, but if so how do I finally rid myself of it?

[Looneyone]

Hi, Trebyn,
It's funny you are talking about a lack of motivation. I am dealing with that right now. I got laid off from my job last August and have had absolutely no motivation ever since. When I was depressed in years past, I had my children to keep me motivated, but they have all flown the nest and now it's just me and the cat. I feel completely paralyzed by this. My condition is exasperated by PTSD and I can't deal with people attacking me verbally, etc. I am sorry you are going through this. I don't have any answers. Hopefully, we will both find the solution.

Hi Trebyn, I find myself with an extreme lack of motivation at the present time. It's related to my depression and the fact that nothing I do changes it. I'm not motivated to do much aside from mindless activities (internet and t.v.), even though I hate my life and it feels empty.

So, just saying I understand where you're coming from. Maybe this is something you can work through with a therapist? Unfortunately, my lack of motivation has not been helped by therapy.

[LaborIntensive]

I deal with this myself. Keep looking for answers/solutions and don't be afraid to reach out for help.

[regretful]

Hello Trebyn,

Existential depression...well into my forties I've been dealing with the same thing, but was not as aware of it at 31 as you are. In fact, I didn't really "discover" the nature of my depression until about 3-4 years ago. At its worst, I was relegated to "what's the point of it all", and was hospitalized as a result. What do I do with "it" now? Good question...

Lately, I've been corresponding here. It gives me a reason to believe that I exist for some reason - as shaky as this might be for a reason.

I also know that when I'm not depressed, I tend to be much more sociable all around...

I'm not sure if that is what you're looking for in a reply about what to do, but that's my 2 cents..

Originally Posted by regretful

Lately, I've been corresponding here. It gives me a reason to believe that I exist for some reason - as shaky as this might be for a reason.

Mine is the hope that one day I can reclaim my artwork from my PTSD, but it often feels like a false dream that I'm clinging to, and that deep down I know it won't happen. Since early March I've barely attempted it at all, and even when I do attempt it there's usually little to no 'oomph' behind the efforts.

It's quite frustrating, because even if I imagine succeeding at that... what for? I don't care about being rich, I'm not interested in having a family, and I don't want to be some famous artist. The reason why I drew as a kid was because it was an escape from an unhappy reality. But even with how effective of an escape it had been, it's never going to be anything more than that. Once I put the pencil down I'll be back with everything else, you know?

Looneyone mentioned PTSD, which is something I was told I have as well. I wonder how many of you others also have it? Perhaps that is the common theme here?

[Smedley]

Unfortunately, Trebyn, PTSD is common because traumatic experiences are part of the human condition and some of us process it badly.

[PeachCream22]

I'm no stranger to lack of motivation. You're not alone. The difference between you and me is that you had a lot more life experience than me. I don't know how to cope or give you advice.

Just letting you know at least you're not alone. Maybe PC will help motivate you. Hoping our replies help you get up a bit... We're all struggling and here to help.

[PoorPrincess]

I too have no motivation and can empathize with your situation.
If I had motivation, in my current situation there is nothing I could do,
no way to get any place even if I knew where to go and what to do.
I'm having to put my faith in that when I get better, motivation will
be there.

Hey Trebyn-
Right there with ya, buddy. PTSD has dogged me for years and the horrible nightmares...I'll stay up for two days after one-afraid to go back to sleep. I'm also BP and a couple of other things.

I really had no motivation the last couple of years my husband was alive. Quit writing, lost track of how many showers I was supposed to take-stopped reading, stopped doing my art. Like being stuck in a bog of apathy, too shallow to drown in and too deep to get out of.

It's been ten months since he passed and my motivation for life is coming back. He was killing himself with alcohol and it was killing me too. When I realized that, I started to come back to life. I'm writing again (not every day but I'll get there) and doing my art and taking care of myself again.

One other thing that's really helped is the med they put me on for the nightmares. Started at 1 pill, now leveled off at 3. It's called cyproheptadine HCL 4 mg. tab. If you haven't tried it yet, might be worth a look.

No one can help motivate another person, but I understand. My reward for making my art and writing my novels is the satisfaction of doing it for myself. Just making something beautiful or moving is all the reason you (don't mean to be presumtuous) need.

You didn't mention if you have a pet. Animals at least motivate you to take care of them. And what you get back in unconditional love-there is nothing else like it in the world.

I hope things change for you and that you find your center again. As an artist who can't find the will to make art-I so understand. PM me if you like and we can talk about it.

Yeah, I do have a pet I look after. Just a smaller dog that I've had for around 10 years now.

It's tough though because I don't bond with others, including pets. I make sure she's taken care of, has good food, gets exercise, I run her through tricks to stimulate her mind, and give her attention when she wants it, but I've never felt any real attachment to her. It would be quite easy to give her away tomorrow to someone I know.

I don't know if it's due to early abuse, due to damage from an early surgery, or if I've always been been that way since birth, but I've never seemed to be able to connect to others on any meaningful level. Case in point being my niece and nephew. I really did try for several years to establish something with them, but after 5 years I still felt absolutely nothing towards them and just give up. I haven't even spoken with them since February of last year.

That kind of thing is a major part of the lack of motivation, because so much of what people do is for the sake of forming or maintaining relationships with others. They're motivated because they get something rewarding out of those relationships, but what if that wasn't the case? What would drive them if there was no rewarding feeling, and if they didn't even know how to be close to someone? Just thinking about it it makes me feel like an alien trapped amongst a species that has some extra sense that I'm lacking. I'm not sure what can even be done about that at this point, because it's not anything new. It's been that way for over 25 years, going all the way back to when I dropped my very first friend literally overnight, with my and his parents being totally confused about how I could do that. It was because there was no emotional bond on my end.