[henrydavidtherobot]

I have a cat that I saved when he was four weeks old. He was aggressive and required feeding every two hours, but I socialized him into the sweetest cat you'll ever meet.

He is very important to me. I have made plenty of adjustments in my life to keep him. However, I can't take him to China with me. Tomorrow, he is going to live with a friend while I am away for a year.

i am dreading this and am seriously so sad. Help please?

[Raindropvampire]

I lived with my dad briefly and when I moved I had to leave my cats for several months. I can't imagine what you are going through knowing it will be a year. Just try to focus on that this isn't forever. This is probably going to sound stupid but will your friend let you Skype your cat? Then you could still see him and know that he's ok. My heart goes out to you. I know how much it hurts to be separated from a pet.

Dear Sweet Girl-
I can offer no advice as I love my little darling to much to imagine not seeing him for a year. Rainyvampire made a good suggestion. Are you going to keep in touch? Please let me know.

[gayleggg]

Sweetheart, I feel so bad for you. Leaving a loved pet behind, even for a little while can be heartbreaking. If Skype in a option that might help the loneliness of being without him. I wish you the best on your venture to China.

[shabur]

- I hope you read this before you leave.

I can understand. While I didn't have to give my boys to someone I didn't see them for the month I was hospitalized. I missed them terribly.

I volunteer at a no kill no cage animal rescue as an adoption counselor. In case you don't already know, there is a way to ease your kitty's transition to his new environment - cats do not do well with change.

1. Before you bring him over, have your friend set up her bathroom with a litter box, water & food bowls, something to sleep on (cat bed or some towels) and the toys, etc he has at your home. Keep as many familiar things as possible. Same food, same litter, same litter box, ... You can also give him something that has your scent on it.

2. When you bring him to your friends take him directly to the bathroom (with the bathroom already set up) while he is still in his carrier. Close the bathroom door with you and your friend in the bathroom and open his carrier. Let him come out on his own - don't force him.

3. Keep him in the bathroom, with your friend going in frequently to play with him, pet him or just sit with him. If he is given the run of the place right away he more than likely will run and hide, your friend will have a difficult time helping him transition and it will be more stressful for your kitty.

4. It's important to let him set the pace. It can take a day or it can take weeks. It's dependent on how he feels. Your friend can open the door and let him venture out if he paws at the door, even possibly cry.

5. A lot of adult cats will attempt to hide wherever they are. Because you are using a bathroom, the only places he can try to hide are in the bathtub or behind the toilet. This is good because your friend is able to work directly with him to help him adapt. Have her start out by just talking with a soft, quiet voice. She shouldn't try to engage him physically unless he pursues it.

6. If he hisses, let him hiss. Remember, this is one of the ways cats express their emotions. She shouldn't try to touch him when he is in this state because he could scratch or possibly bite. (Be sure to take him to the vet to check his health status and to have him vaccinated for distemper and rabies. Even though he is (hopefully) an indoor cat, if he does bite it has to be assumed he has rabies and may need to go into a 10 day quarantine and your friend may need to be treated as though she was bitten by a rabid animal.)

7. When your friend senses he is doing ok, have her hold her relaxed hand, fingers slightly curled under, palm side down, near his face. If he hisses, she needs to pull her hand back quickly - it's not time. If he smells her hand without hissing have your friend slowly and gently scratch his head. Then depending on how accepting he is of these scratches, she can extend her head scratches to gently petting his body, but staying away from his belly.

8. As he becomes more comfortable, he will come out and sit with her. Once he gets to this point he should be OK to let out of the bathroom.

9. If, by chance, she lets hims out and he runs out and hides, let him be for a while. It may just be seeing more of their environment. If he stays hidden for over a day start again beginning with step 5 without the use of the bathroom. This may be a bit harder since he is now in a place it will be difficult to reach. But, again, don't try to force it. If worst comes to worst, let him be. Just make sure he is eating, drinking and using the litter box which he will usually do when your friend is not home or at night. She can put his food and water bowls near him.

If at all possible, you should help your friend start the process so your kitty's transition is easier for him.

I am sure that if you follow these guidelines, your kitty will adapt well and be happier in his new environment. I wish you luck in China.

[henrydavidtherobot]

I feel a little silly by how dramatic this is. I was coping with a lot of feelings last night

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by henrydavidtherobot

I feel a little silly by how dramatic this is. I was coping with a lot of feelings last night

I don't think you were being dramatic at all. The idea of being away from my fur babies for a year would freak me out big time.

I like the idea of Skyping with your kitty.