[tealBumblebee]

Note: I didn't put this in the eating disorder forum because a) I don't have an ED and b) I would rather not trigger/insult anyone who does suffer in that way.

So i've had the thoughts for quite a while now, but what are thoughts without action? I'm honestly so sick of the way food is such a "main stream" part of life. Birthday - cake/icecream, Movies - popcorn, Wedding - reception, Thanksgiving - food, Fourth of July - Bbq, First Date - dinner, just ugh. Food food food.

I'm so sick of waking up, fixing breakfast (i rarely eat breakfast though), figuring out whats for lunch, buying lunch, turning around and getting the kids a snack for afterschool or whatever the case, thinking about whats for dinner, shopping for some missing ingredient, fixing dinner for everyone (including fixing the plates for everyone), eating, putting the dishes up. Maybe incorporate some kind of dessert. Like - I'm just sick of food. I feel like I'm wasting so much of my life thinking about food. Who knows what I could have done with the amount of time, energy and brain cells spent on planning meal after meal after meal.

I want to learn how to live a 'minimalistic' life when it comes to food (but also in general). Like, how do you know when you are genuinely physically hungry and not just eating out of boredom or routine??? I'm just sick of food. Period.

I literally sat in my room for a while tonight writing an essay about how the world would be different if everyone ate solely for the purpose of sustaining life and never past the point of satiation. The thoughts are clearly consuming me today. Food is literally beginning to suck the life out of me.

[Travelinglady]

I have to admit that I am more a person who "lives to eat rather than eats to live." I am wondering if maybe you could eat more nutrition bars as part of your diet. One thought, anyway.

[bluekoi]

tealBumblebee, This sounds more about what a chore feeding your family is. Is there any way they could help out more so it all doesn't fall on your shoulders?

[eskielover]

I have to admit.....I totally understand what you are saying......I have found that the days that I do make food to eat.....I get absolutely NONE of the work done around the farm that I need to get accomplished.....life seems like it's either about food & fixing food or work with no time to bother eating.

I do have some ED issues being triggered by stress......so going days without eating is nothing new to me....but then I do need the balance because I can get too shaky not eating......so one day for eating & the next day is about work.....but then I live alone & can get away with that....or on the days when I'm trying to work....I have quick things that I already fixed....like chicken salad.....or pea & cucumber salad....or frozen foods from out of the freezer that only take microwave time then eat & get back to work.

I think that planning the week & the menu's is probably a good idea that way not so much time put into planning each day....& you just follow your meal plan for the week......then do it over for the next week....& incorporate in the things you can just throw into the microwave...or a casserole you can stick into the oven (not the greatest during the hot summer).....or use a crock pot & put a huge amount of food for left-overs for the rest of the week.

Planned ahead & some of the things prepared ahead on one day....can save a lot of time during the week.

Just some thoughts.

[Open Eyes]

Your feelings about being frustrated because you have to constantly be dealing with food and making meals is understandable. That has been the main drive to the success of TV/Frozen dinners and fast food restaurants. Some people really "love" to cook and consider it an art, yet some people just don't want to be bothered and have to spend so much of their time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning.

If or when your children are old enough have them learn to make some of the meals and have them take turns, you can get dad involved with that too if you are married.

My mother always hated cooking too, I don't care for it all that much myself after having to constantly worry about it for so many years.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

I have to admit that I am more a person who "lives to eat rather than eats to live." I am wondering if maybe you could eat more nutrition bars as part of your diet. One thought, anyway.

I have been that way. I do enjoy food. I just get sick of how often I have to think about it. Nutrition bars sounds like a good idea actually. For me, it's not about being healthy or what not - i'm just sick of full meals really. Ugh. At one point I was having midnight cravings and would do a bottle of water and a nutrition bar for dinner but I was advised I wasn't eating enough protein. I wouldn't mind going back to that as perhaps a lunch substitution.

Originally Posted by bluekoi

tealBumblebee, This sounds more about what a chore feeding your family is. Is there any way they could help out more so it all doesn't fall on your shoulders?

My turn to admit that, yeah, that does play a big part in it. I am 26 years old, no kids, no husband, nothing. But I wake up every morning at seven to feed my moms clients, and during the school week my two little cousins, then by lunch time I get hungry and I get annoyed that I have to pay for food. And then LATELY my moms been expecting me to freaking feed the whole household and I don't know where the heck that came from. I love to cook, I really do - but I have no idea where this 'demand' thing came from where I'm expected to cook. She even gave me this long spiel about how her mother always cooked early in the day to have the food ready for her kids and husband when he got home and cooked a full meal every night and I told her that yeah, that makes sense for her because she was raising a family - I AM NOT. Thhhhen people have the nerve to start complaining about HOW i cook my food (there was a big deal about me putting sugar in something and my aunt not eating things with sugar ) . But I've noticed that I get to my breaking point when my mom says "whats for dinner tonight?" I'm just like AAHHHHH!! I don't want to think about dinner. I don't want to think about food. I'm sick of food - let's all just starve tonight! I'm just sooo over it. And tonight, she tells me what she wants for dinner, I make it and she comes home and says "I'm waiting for my plate to be made." Well then I guess she'll be waiting for a while cause i'm not fixing it until i'm good and ready after I already made the food and fixed both clients (who are incapable of fixing their own) plates as well.

Hopping off my soap box now but yes. I'm sure that does play quite a large part of it now that i've been able to vent that.

Originally Posted by eskielover

I have to admit.....I totally understand what you are saying......I have found that the days that I do make food to eat.....I get absolutely NONE of the work done around the farm that I need to get accomplished.....life seems like it's either about food & fixing food or work with no time to bother eating.

I do have some ED issues being triggered by stress......so going days without eating is nothing new to me....but then I do need the balance because I can get too shaky not eating......so one day for eating & the next day is about work.....but then I live alone & can get away with that....or on the days when I'm trying to work....I have quick things that I already fixed....like chicken salad.....or pea & cucumber salad....or frozen foods from out of the freezer that only take microwave time then eat & get back to work.

I think that planning the week & the menu's is probably a good idea that way not so much time put into planning each day....& you just follow your meal plan for the week......then do it over for the next week....& incorporate in the things you can just throw into the microwave...or a casserole you can stick into the oven (not the greatest during the hot summer).....or use a crock pot & put a huge amount of food for left-overs for the rest of the week.

Planned ahead & some of the things prepared ahead on one day....can save a lot of time during the week.

Just some thoughts.

Thanks so much for being able to relate a little bit. *exhale* I feel like I shouldn't have these thoughts honestly but I do. Its to the point that i've just wanted to gather a bunch of fruits and veggies, presort them (like the meals you describe) into weekly portions and just fix 2-3 smoothies a day. That or don't eat for a few days until my body decides it's hungry. Like I just don't want to have to think about food anymore. Period. I want to question: "Whats for lunch? - nothing, move on." or "What's for dinner? - one smoothie left, guess that's what 'm eating!" I just don't want to think about food anymore.

Do you all realize how much money is spent on food in our lifetime? How many brain cells we've used planning meals? Like - I could totally be learning a new hobby or mastering a skill or something. I feel like i'm just soooo over food. *smh*

[Hellion]

Well one idea is maybe not cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner....in my opinion you don't exactly need three full on meals a day. When I was still a kid I think even as young as 9 or 10 I was making my own breakfast usually just cinnamon toast, a bagel, or cereal and on rare occasions my mom may have made muffins....my dad always had to go to work early.

Of course lunch was at school, got hot lunches but had to make my own cold lunch if that is what I wanted....so maybe your kids could start sharing some of the responsibility depending on how old they are. Aside from that is eating out more often, or buying quick/easy to prepare meals an option?

[healingme4me]

I love to cook, too. Yet, to do so in a monotonous manner, forget it. I'm tired of the cost of food. I have a family. Luck has it, very different palates, I decided years ago, there's battles worth having, others, forcing them, was not. Convenience foods, to me, mean cold cereals, deli meat, and the frozen processed nuggets and patties that one likes in microwave then bread, the other the oven then splashed and covered in a bowl of buffalo sauce. The typical foods are typical for their tastes. Then, cooking meals becomes enjoyable. If i choose pb&j for my solo dinner, so be it.
You just aren't alone here. :Hug:

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I love to cook, too. Yet, to do so in a monotonous manner, forget it. I'm tired of the cost of food. I have a family. Luck has it, very different palates, I decided years ago, there's battles worth having, others, forcing them, was not. Convenience foods, to me, mean cold cereals, deli meat, and the frozen processed nuggets and patties that one likes in microwave then bread, the other the oven then splashed and covered in a bowl of buffalo sauce. The typical foods are typical for their tastes. Then, cooking meals becomes enjoyable. If i choose pb&j for my solo dinner, so be it.
You just aren't alone here. :Hug:

I am thinking pretty soon convenience food to me will be something good i make a large quantity of so I can stick it in the fridge/freezer and eat it as needed/wanted....my digestive system clearly does not like processed food too much.

[-jimi-]

I can't imagine more than one cooked meal a day... if that! I grew up with bread for two meals, bread for snack and one cooked meal. We made the snacks ourselves from the age of 8.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

I literally sat in my room for a while tonight writing an essay about how the world would be different if everyone ate solely for the purpose of sustaining life and never past the point of satiation. The thoughts are clearly consuming me today. Food is literally beginning to suck the life out of me.

It does not sound like food but your deliberate "thinking" about it. If I don't feel like cooking dinner I let those who think I am know :-) and we order pizza or cheesesteaks or whatever or go out, etc. My husband fixes both of us breakfast and we don't do "lunch", I just amble through my fruits, vegetables, popcorn, whatever I "need" to get adequate nutrition (at least 5 fruits and veggies a day so I get as many as I can between breakfast and dinner).

How old are the kids? Can't they get their own snacks after school/activities? My mother would make cookies and we were in charge of getting a couple after school and before 4:00 when the kitchen "closed" in preparation for dinner so we wouldn't ruin our appetite. In addition, the cookie jar had a cut glass lid that scraped/"rang" when removed so Mom could tell we weren't eating too many cookies/trying to get extras.

I read one story that has fascinated me for a long time. One woman discovered that if she "reversed" what she ate -- dinner for breakfast and the lighter breakfast for dinner, she lost weight better. Makes a little sense since dinner usually is "more"/has the most protein, etc. so having all day to use those calories instead of going to bed "next" might be intriguing to try only I like my protein so bet I'd be inclined to eat a lot both in the morning and evening if I did that.

Were I you, I would delegate some food prep or opt out of eating some things or declare a "free" meal where everyone eats what they want, etc. My mother would do that for breakfast occasionally when we were kids, declare a day of "toast and tea" which meant we had to prepare our own breakfast (usually a bowl of cereal or something - just meant a hot breakfast with eggs, etc. was no in the offing).

For me, I no longer go out to work so it can be harder not eating just for the heck of it. But I do "work" so I make sure I concentrate on that more than I do on food.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Hellion

Well one idea is maybe not cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner....in my opinion you don't exactly need three full on meals a day. When I was still a kid I think even as young as 9 or 10 I was making my own breakfast usually just cinnamon toast, a bagel, or cereal and on rare occasions my mom may have made muffins....my dad always had to go to work early.

Of course lunch was at school, got hot lunches but had to make my own cold lunch if that is what I wanted....so maybe your kids could start sharing some of the responsibility depending on how old they are. Aside from that is eating out more often, or buying quick/easy to prepare meals an option?

I want to do not have to cook anything (keyword: have) because its not my responsibility honestly. With the kids, I've said i'm not going to do the whole meal thing but their mom sends them with a half a sandwich each and maybe a pack of crackers for twelve hours. And these kids love to eat. Right now they are six and three, so we do lunchables but that's still $5 a 'meal' plus drinks and it doesn't fill them up for the whole day. Occasionally i'll make a pot of velveeta with chopped meat and corn or stringbeans - that can hold them over for much of the day but my mom wouldn't want that for dinner so I still have to go on and do that. Quick/east to prepare meals sounds like what i'm going to have to do if my family (composed of 5-9 mouths at any given time) is going to start demanding meals.

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I love to cook, too. Yet, to do so in a monotonous manner, forget it. I'm tired of the cost of food. I have a family. Luck has it, very different palates, I decided years ago, there's battles worth having, others, forcing them, was not. Convenience foods, to me, mean cold cereals, deli meat, and the frozen processed nuggets and patties that one likes in microwave then bread, the other the oven then splashed and covered in a bowl of buffalo sauce. The typical foods are typical for their tastes. Then, cooking meals becomes enjoyable. If i choose pb&j for my solo dinner, so be it.You just aren't alone here. :Hug:

I'm tired of the cost of food too. It sucks and is just a waste of time, money, gas, energy - ugh. Convenience food sounds really good right now.

Originally Posted by Hellion

I am thinking pretty soon convenience food to me will be something good i make a large quantity of so I can stick it in the fridge/freezer and eat it as needed/wanted....my digestive system clearly does not like processed food too much.

I like this idea a lot, as I am dairy free.

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I can't imagine more than one cooked meal a day... if that! I grew up with bread for two meals, bread for snack and one cooked meal. We made the snacks ourselves from the age of 8.

Yeah, I came home from school and threw a pack of noodles on the stove or in the microwave daily. My biggest problem is my mother demanding more from me food wise than the kids!!

[tealBumblebee]

I'm just tired of thinking about, planning, cooking and cleaning after meals. I feel like i'm going to be burnt out before I ever have a chance to raise a family of my own. I know I sound whiny about this but it's like my family acts like I am the sole caretaker of this house - and besides the kids i'm the youngest one I just don't feel like it's MY responsibility to provide for my mom, my little cousins, my aunt, my moms clients. Just - like - when did I become someone's parent/caretaker??

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Perna

It does not sound like food but your deliberate "thinking" about it. If I don't feel like cooking dinner I let those who think I am know :-) and we order pizza or cheesesteaks or whatever or go out, etc. My husband fixes both of us breakfast and we don't do "lunch", I just amble through my fruits, vegetables, popcorn, whatever I "need" to get adequate nutrition (at least 5 fruits and veggies a day so I get as many as I can between breakfast and dinner).

How old are the kids? Can't they get their own snacks after school/activities? My mother would make cookies and we were in charge of getting a couple after school and before 4:00 when the kitchen "closed" in preparation for dinner so we wouldn't ruin our appetite. In addition, the cookie jar had a cut glass lid that scraped/"rang" when removed so Mom could tell we weren't eating too many cookies/trying to get extras.

I read one story that has fascinated me for a long time. One woman discovered that if she "reversed" what she ate -- dinner for breakfast and the lighter breakfast for dinner, she lost weight better. Makes a little sense since dinner usually is "more"/has the most protein, etc. so having all day to use those calories instead of going to bed "next" might be intriguing to try only I like my protein so bet I'd be inclined to eat a lot both in the morning and evening if I did that.

Were I you, I would delegate some food prep or opt out of eating some things or declare a "free" meal where everyone eats what they want, etc. My mother would do that for breakfast occasionally when we were kids, declare a day of "toast and tea" which meant we had to prepare our own breakfast (usually a bowl of cereal or something - just meant a hot breakfast with eggs, etc. was no in the offing).

For me, I no longer go out to work so it can be harder not eating just for the heck of it. But I do "work" so I make sure I concentrate on that more than I do on food.

All very good suggestions.

As far as delegating tasks - they act like they'll just die if I don't provide for them. My aunt will literally go without dinner or my mom will grab some fruit and call it a night and then complain about how she didn't have anything to eat the next day.

It feels like the only way to cut out the deliberate thinking about food is to cut out the food itself. If i'm not eating anything then no one else can expect me to feed them either.

I have heard of that story about the woman and the reverse meals and I really think that would be good for me; but i'll be darned if I have to get up and cook 'dinner for breakfast' for nine people.

[-jimi-]

Sounds like they use you. People who are users can put themselves through lot of pain to make others deliver, they can be incredibly stubborn. They know you will give in so if you do after a long struggle they will just last longer the next time...

It is fine to provide for the youngest kids, they need to eat. But the rest of them, I'd say let them starve. You are not their slave.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

I'm just tired of thinking about, planning, cooking and cleaning after meals. I feel like i'm going to be burnt out before I ever have a chance to raise a family of my own. I know I sound whiny about this but it's like my family acts like I am the sole caretaker of this house - and besides the kids i'm the youngest one I just don't feel like it's MY responsibility to provide for my mom, my little cousins, my aunt, my moms clients. Just - like - when did I become someone's parent/caretaker??

I initially thought you where the parent of the kids, but if I am understanding correctly you're not and are living with your mom so its too much responsibility being responsible for feeding everyone is what it sounds like.

Hell if they need a care-taker maybe they should hire one, or if your old enough to where you can't be grounded/punished or whatever for not cooking you could just say you've had it and just cook for yourself...let them make/get their own and the mom of the 3 and 6 year old should be the one making sure they have enough to eat though I suppose either way they can't be left without enough to eat.

Sounds like the adults in the situation are kind of taking advantage.