Not anytime soon

I found mental illness to be a fascinating yet scary entity. This girl I was dating had a multitude of mental illnesses all which likely fell under the umbrella of borderline personality disorder with comorbid features. Prior to this relationship I had very little experience in mental illness and almost didn't acknowledge it to exist. Rather I felt that people had complete control of their emotions and thought processes if they so desired. I recently learned that Indeed many individuals are plagued by chronic life affecting mental illness that can potentially devastate themselves well as those around them. For anybody that ever had any doubts please believe me when I say that mental illness is real. Mental illness does exist and it takes an enormous toll on so many people.
Pardon me while I go climb under a rock

I certainly have no doubts about that, its the potentially causing problems for other people that really just add to my suicidal ideation and thoughts of the world being better off without me. Also in another thread it would appear whether I actually am or not I likely come off as passive aggressive because I am not awesome at verbal communication/saying no when feeling pressured not to and sometimes going along with things I would rather not and not being able to entirely mask all body language signs of not being entirely ok with it. I mean so what I guess shouldn't worry so much how I come off, just hate thinking people assume its coming from selfish, wanting my way over everyone elses thinking.

Coming up with a list of reasons not to think the world would be better off without me, isn't working out so well.