Virtual Hugs?

so irl, i have a severe aversion to touch. the hair stands up on the back of my neck, my body tenses up, and i feel myself shaking if i think there is even a remote possibility that someone will touch me.

i guess it extends to the virtual world also? i see the "hug" button at the bottom of a post and i can never make myself click on it.

it's not that i don't want to send support or encouragement...it's that whole stupid touch thing...

can anyone else relate?

I have issues with touch IRL, but I'm ok with virtual hugs.

Sending support and care.

Yes hard for me to hit the hug button. I do give out hugs from time to time - when I feel very genuinely moved by the discussion. Otherwise...very difficult for me...I know I tense up. But there are some that I sense real honesty and can hug them.

I wish they would add another bottom - something between Thanks and Hugs Hmmmmmmm.

I do like getting virtual hugs

Same here. I hate to touch or be touched. I hesitate to give virtual hugs but sometimes I really want to when I see that another person is in a lot of emotional or physical pain. I'm kinda surprised when I get one. It feels a little strange at first but I really don't mind that much anymore. It would probably overwhelm me if I got a lot though.

I think it's just a show of support that people need from time to time. I don't like real hugs either irl.

Best wishes

I love hugs from my husband and kids .. But other than family .,,.ummm no , no thank you . I have no issues giving virtual hugs.

virual hugs for me are ok but I dont go around "hugging" everyone. I wait until someone "hugs" that lets me know they are ok with it then I reciprocate with a hug. the same in my job, I wait until someone asks for a hug before giving one. in my home life though we are a "hug-able" family.

I'm a hugger IRL and here at PC. That said, I do my very best to respect the other person's boundaries. IRL I reaqd body language. If I sense the person does not want to be touched I back off. If I'm not sure what message they are sending I'll ask.

It as little harder here at PC because we can't read body language. Again, if in doubt I ask.

Interesting topic.. I'm not aversive to hugs... I'm just a bit thick when it comes to them and prefer when the other person makes the move as a cue of 'oh they need a hug now'... I get very confused with boundaries and personal space so yeah, general rule I let others take the lead as it confuses the crap out of me... unless they are obviously drunk and trying to cop a feel, which as a bloke advancing in years hasn't happened for a while... *cough* (wife reminisces with bemusement on me panicking and telling her as soon as possible as I'm scatty and don't read obvious signs )

As for virtual hugs, I like the sentiment... the differentiation between 'thanks' and 'hug'... been mentioned above about 'body language' being null and void in the text format... but emoticons do serve a purpose in breaking that barrier down.

Clearly a hug on here is not real... but it gives that (to me) feeling that someone has read and cared, even if they were unable to contribute to the thread itself.

Just my take.

We all have our own idiosyncrasies and if that function is uncomfortable for you to use, don't use it... there are many members here who contribute with amazing supportive insight and barely if ever click 'thanks' or 'hugs'

IRL I really dislike hugs from anyone except my wife. On PC I take them for what they are - emotional support. I don't give them out much but I think I should do it more often.

Cant offer much about this here I am afraid. Cant recall the last hug I had. Honestly, years ago I suspect. Virtual hugs are fine by me.

As we are talking about it I have to give everyone on this thread a virtual hug

I am not great with physical contact in lots of ways but I admire people who naturally are, and though it can make me feel strange to receive it, I think I like it in some ways and maybe wish I could be more tactile.

Can I ask OP, do you like receiving virtual hugs on here? cause maybe that's at least something, to feel happy to get the affection from here Plus I think there is more than enough hugs to go round, that missing yours for the sake of you feeling comfortable is a small loss my love x

I don't really like how they are used excessively here. Mainly in the chat room. It's off putting to me and makes me uncomfortable. Maybe now and then it's okay but overall I dislike it. Real hugs are awkward for me.

Can'tStopCrying, I think I hugged you in another thread. I'm sorry if it bothered you. I would go remove the huig, but can't remember which thread it was.

Receiving virtual hugs doesn't cause me the anxiety that the thought of giving a virtual hug does....it just seems so silly to me...why on earth can't I click on hugs?

No worries.....I just think it's weird that a stupid button gives me anxiety...I tend to use the thanks button to let someone know I am there and listening

I can understand the difference. Though we say they are 'virtual', when you feel emotional about something it feels like a pull inside and the 'virtual hugs' are a response to that imo, as oppose to receiving the hug for something you have said already. Feels very different and I think that it is a virtual reach out to someone that feels real in some ways. If you have that as an anxious block, then that's why you don't feel you can maybe?

But don't stress about that. Perhaps take time to think more about the hugs you receive and from there it may help you if you want to start giving hugs. But if you don't, you don't really don't add to everything else you have going on with an irrelevant issue, I say x

I'm not real touchy feely either IRL but enjoy hugs from my wife. However I do like receiving and giving virtual hugs. It makes me feel like I can help make a difference in somebodys mood when their having a bad day

Not to that extent, but kind of... I only "hug" someone online if I ACTUALLY would hug them in real life, at that point in time. That's why when you get a hug from me, (you won't, don't worry) you know I'd truly want to hug you "IRL" at that point in time.

That's something to strive for x

I've been desensitized to virtual hugs, I used to hate them as much as real hugs. Giving a virtual hug to someone else I would never do. I just feel disgusted by the idea. I'm not going to analyze it to pieces, I will simply not "hug" people.

I'm getting hugs from my family. So, I don't need any virtual hugs too.

Well MargStone you are blessed then. Not everyone gets or receives even so much as human touch let alone a hug. I respect those that don't like them, but I am not one of them.
You have heard of babies who fail to thrive haven't you? Older people also start to fail, if they need & want physical and virtual 'touch', recognition, tenderness. Yes, and hugs.

I am a respectful hugger in real life, I ask first. But I crave to be touched.

And anybody that wants to send a hug to me today especially, I REALLY need it. I have once again taken a huge emotional hit from someone I love and trust.
I am really really hurting and I will take all the hugs anyone can hand out.
There is no end to mean people it seems, and their expectation that I have an infinite capacity to roll over and take it. I am strong, but not that strong.

I sometimes get a bit iffy about hugging people in real life but I like hugging family and good friends.

I don't hug in real life nearly as much as I give virtual hugs, though. Sometimes I agonize thinking about how little my hugs on here might be worth. I give a hug to anyone I feel might need one. I often hug instead of replying. I never give a hug if I haven't read a post and thought about whether to give one or not. And if someone says they don't want hugs (I've seen it in a signature or two) I respect that.

I know that, at least for me, a hug or thanks shows that someone has read my post even if they didn't reply, and maybe my post wasn't totally pointless. I still struggle with self-esteem and related issues; have all my life. I guess I feel the pros of hugging outweigh the cons.

And here I am agonizing about hugs. Argh!

Well, I'm the OP and struggle with giving virtual hugs, but I can definitely send you good thoughts and positive healing....