[concerned_friend]

I found this on my friends computer and am not sure how to take it or if I need to be concerned about it:

I have been so down and so depressed for so long and yet no one even has a clue, they think my life is great and I should have nothing to complain about, maybe that is true but I do not feel that way. I try to talk but it’s like no one is listening, they just interrupt me or tell me everything will be fine and they have problems too, well I know it won’t be fine and I don’t know what to do about it, one thing does come to mind constantly but I keep hoping it will get better so I don’t have to take that way out, I can no longer control the roller coaster of emotions it is eating me up on the inside because I can’t display it on the outside. I just can’t cope anymore!

I am writing this for two reasons, one as maybe a therapeutic way of expressing myself but probably for number two which is if anything happens to me everyone will no why, odds are it won’t be an accident or caused by someone else. Say no more.

Please give me some input.
Thanks

[Mike_J]

First question is why were you on your friend's computer? Was it in a place that was likely to be seen, thus could have been placed there for you to find, or do you think it wasn't meant to be found now before something has happened or found only if something happened?

And YES I would be concerned. I would talk to your friend, let them know that you are there to talk to them about anything and your friendship is unconditional.

There is such a stigma to mental illness many people are afraid to seek help they know they need.

[Frankbtl]

Hi concerned friend, I would definitely be concerned too.
But it is good that you're thinking about what to do about it/you're not just turning your back on it/the way s/he's feeling.
Not to completely scare you that they may end it all, some people might feel that way but not actually go ahead with it. But for them to be feeling so bad.........then I'd say they definitely need someone to talk to/be there for them/support them regardless.
Now you don't even have to necessarily let them know that you've seen what you've seen/that you know............but maybe find a time you're alone together (with plenty of time to talk) and say that you've seen that they "aren't happy/that they're struggling" (however you want to describe it), and try to encourage them to tell you about it/the way they're feeling/what might be wrong...........and let them know that you're going to be there for them/that you want to be there for them.........and let them talk to you, it might be tempting to jump right in there and try to "make everything right" but, you know, let them talk and work with them on what might make things a little better for them.
And good on you for caring enough to be asking us what you should do.

Alison

[~Christina]

Get involved and talk, but more importantly "listen" to your friend.. It might take a while for your friend to open up since in the past noone seems to have cared. There isnt going to be a quick fix for your friend.. Its a long journey usually, but its easier having a friend there to offer support.

Take care

[A Red Panda]

Really, really, listen. Definitely talk to your friend, and let them know that you're there for them. And then listen. Ask them questions, invite them to share more if they want to... but mostly, just listen.

[eskielover]

If your friend is willing to open up......& they don't have professional help....sometimes it's important when it does get to this point to have professional help as there may be some really deep things that are causing this that you aren't trained to handle.......

But even with professionals, it's important to have a good friend who is WILLING TO LISTEN & hear what they have to say.

The problem that we all had with one person....is that she kept saying the same thing over & over & complaining about the same thing over & over but wasn't willing to take any actions that would change her situation. She had very poor professional help & mostly had none....but was encouraged to get that help......her problems went way back to her childhood & not something that any of us as her friends were trained or capable of helping her with.......so don't take the I'll save you approach....just take the "I'm here to listen & that's all I'm capable of doing" approach. One of my friends got so involved in her problems that it ended up really messing up her life......so one has to have defined boundaries also while being as much help as possible.