Should people with MI try to "raise the bar" on appearance and grooming?

I'm not trying to raise the bar or be an ambassador for MI. But I do know I feel better mentally and physically and feel better about myself if I take care of my grooming, wardrobe and physical appearance. So I'm probably more in agreement with MotownJohnny than others might be.

When my mother was my age, she'd been an invalid for at least 5 years due to mental and physical health problems. One day she announced she was old -- she wasn't -- and she wasn't getting dressed. She didn't get dressed for weeks at a time. She didn't leave the house. If she wanted to leave or had to leave for a doctor's appointment, then bathing, combing her hair, finding matching clothes, getting dressed, putting on shoes became a huge ordeal. This pattern went on for years. She went to in-patient treatment three times and she'd come home and not get dressed again.

It made a big impression on me. As a result, I get up no matter how bad I feel, even when I had broken bones, and I bathe, take care of my complexion, do my hair and get dressed. I wear casual clothes around the house and to the gym. I like to get dirty doing yard work or housework or exercising hard. Those clothes get worn once and then washed.

But if I'm going somewhere, even the grocery store, I step it up a notch. If I'm engaging in business, I wear business attire, although I don't own a dress or high heels and I wear very little jewelry. But I have some high quality pants suits and separates, silk shirts and leather flats. It's all comfortable.

I do it for me. It makes me feel better. And even though it's unfair because people shouldn't be judged on shallow things yadayada I know I get taken more seriously and treated better because of the way I present myself. I hope I don't ever get to the point where I announce I'm too old or too depressed or too sick to get dressed. I don't want to repeat my mother's downward spiral.

This may not answer the op's question but it certainly makes me think about how my appearance has become such an issue for me. An issue that I think is dragging me down with the depression. I have always been very particular about my appearance. Even back when I was in a psych hospital for depression post suicide attempt, I kept up the hair and makeup and dressed the best that I could. Once a doctor there told me that I could not possibly be depressed by the way that I looked. Really, was that a scientific observation? I thought he was pretty ignorant from that statement.

I digress. Things have changed since then, I had to go on disability income when I became unable to work at all as a nurse. With this income I can truly not afford to have decent hair cuts regularly and especially cannot afford clothes. I barely make it through each month, sometimes am spent out by the 10th of the month and have to figure out how to survive 20 more days. So, even working at finding sales, doing couponing and all, I cannot afford clothes.

Sorry, not meaning to sound so pitiful, but my clothes look awful now and so does my hair. I do think that it is me being super self conscious more than ever about how I look that is causing me distress. With about 30 lbs of weight gain I don't think any clothes look good on me, old clothes don't fit me. This has all just happened within the last 3 years, I have not been able to replace most clothes items like the basics. I used to buy good clothes, lingerie, hair products etc. I have been to goodwill a few times for clothes...awful. They all smell like body odor when you first get them!

So, when I look in the mirror with all the above and a few more years aging, I can hardly stand to look at myself. I think all the 'trauma' of my severe mental illness that was exacerbated 10 years ago and now post klonopin withdrawal for 19 months of literal hell, has definitely taken a toll on my looks. I wish that I could be kinder and gentler to myself. Goodness knows, I am way harder on myself that any of you might be. I imagine that I will hear from here that I am too superficial and I need to give it a rest, whatever I catch from writing this.

All that said, I do think that when I at least try to shower and dress, put my face on and do my best, I do feel better. Physically and mentally. Ironically, the last few days have been bad and I did not shower for 4 days! Not like me, but I live alone and never see anyone unless I go visit them most of the time, so the motivation factors are low!

I really would love it hear any suggestions on how I can improve my attitude towards myself and appearance. My dear sweet mother was my role model, she was always dressed nice and took great pride in her appearance.

You have also been going through Klonopin withdrawal! You understand! Was it voluntary, or did someone force you off them?

Originally I was forced off for 4 days, pure hell, but then knew deep inside that I needed to rid myself of that demon! I chose to keep on trudging through, don't know if I would have done it knowing what I know now! Healing is not linear, it goes back and forth between feeling a little better for a few days to being back in hell for a week. Very strange. Still happening just like that.

Thanks Angelique