[Kay Blank]

I am grateful to locate this site. I read more about personality disorders. I first went to a therapist twenty years ago. I saw her for a couple of years. It was a painful process, but I progressed in leaps. At times I would doubt myself and asked her if I there were hope that I could ever be cured. She said yes. I wasn't convinced until she looked me in the eyes and firmly stated that I would get better otherwise, she would not tell me so. After a few years we both decided that it was time for me to stop seeing her and I could check in when needed. I didn't go back and she has since retired. About six years ago, I started to see another counselor. At this time my husband's mother passed away and my spouse turned on me. Every night before going to bed he complained about me and our last child at home. He spent hours complaining about his staff yet he wouldn't do anything to change circumstances at his business. I went to counseling hoping to receive help with dealing with my spouse. My counselor diagnosed me with Histrionic personality disorder and PTSD. After about three years, I felt like I was just spinning my wheels and I sensed that she was impatient with me. The last few visits did not go well. She pointed out that I have a good life and even in a sarcastic, judgmental way stated that I think I am better than everyone else. That I think I am so smart ... and other things like this. I was shocked and even though I had two more visits with her, I closed up and wouldn't discuss myself or my circumstances with her. We both agreed to terminate our sessions. That was two years ago. Now as I read about these disorders, I don't know what to do. It sounds like this is as good as it gets. I guess it is. So ... I am sorry for being the way that I am. At this time in my life, I am coming to the conclusion that I have little to offer. Maybe tomorrow I will feel different. My spouse tossed and turned and couldn't sleep last night so I couldn't sleep last night and I am really tired. I just need to just plow through the day.

[BeaFlower]

Welcome Kay Blank. I'm sorry for your issues, and I'm sorry that you didn't find a good counselor last time. Hope that you find a better one. Here you can learn a lot about your disorders, give and receive support. Surely you do have something to offer, also just being here and sharing your experiences Welcome again

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi Kay,
Hope this quote helps:"In order to love one's
self,one must behave in ways one can admire."

[Kay Blank]

I had a positive experience last night and I just want to share it with someone. An acquaintance from my church had a baby about one month ago. No one held a baby shower for her. I could see that she was not held in high esteem in her immediate family. So I stepped up and offered to host a shower for her. I did it for two reasons. First I had empathy for her, she is so sweet to all and needs TLC. Also, I use to do these type of things and found joy in doing them. Being older now, I don't have the energy I use to have, and my dexterity isn't the best. I couldn't even tie bows and that sort of thing. I called the only person that I felt comfortable in reaching out to & asked for help. She was able to help for a few hours. It made all the difference. About 25 or so ladies came. We had a wonderful time. When the young mother left our house, she could not find the words to express her happiness. She didn't need to, I could see it in her face. One thing that was funny, her two crabby aunts arrived at my door, angry and in a quarrel with each other. When they left, they hugged me and kissed my cheek. Total attitude change. Interesting to me is the toxic women that gave me so much grief in the past, didn't come. Another thing that I was prepared for was for my Aspie spouse to somehow sabotage it. He tried, but this time I was ready and put his responsibilities right back onto him and told him to deal with it. He was the only one that went to bed with the conclusion that all was/is messed up. It was a successful experiment. Not a big deal, it's just nice to reach out and have it turn out to be a wonderful experience and I feel like I progressed by actively not owning my spouses feigned helplessness.

[winter4me]

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story! So glad you were able to make such a difference (& it will never be forgotten by the mother...ever) for someone.
It sounds like your first therapist was professional, dedicated, and in the right job.
The other...it is hard but what she said about you says WORLDS about her, and nothing about you.
If you want to try tx again, do but don't be afraid to shop around till you find someone who feels right for you. As in any other profession, there are
"all kinds"
WELCOME TO PC!!!!

[avlady]

Thats a nice thing to do and a nice story!

[BeaFlower]

Thanks for sharing this!