[HolographicTardis]

Ok so for as long as I can remember when I'm alone I tend to have the urge to jerk my body or convulse. Also I click my teeth, clench my eyes, and hit my arms. This usually happens when I'm upset. I always seem to shake or jerk my body when I'm by myself and it makes me feel less anxious. I have always done this but I only just realized that it probably isn't normal. Any ideas on what it could be if it is anything? Thanks.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by HolographicTardis

Ok so for as long as I can remember when I'm alone I tend to have the urge to jerk my body or convulse. Also I click my teeth, clench my eyes, and hit my arms. This usually happens when I'm upset. I always seem to shake or jerk my body when I'm by myself and it makes me feel less anxious. I have always done this but I only just realized that it probably isn't normal. Any ideas on what it could be if it is anything? Thanks.

convulsing is a medical condition where the body has involuntary (not controlled or willful actions) muscle contractions, spasms and seizures. in me this is part of my having multiple sclerosis, to find out what it is in you, you will need to contact a medical doctor.

as for the self harming acts (jerking, shaking, hitting yourself) only you and your treatment providers (a medical doctor, a therapist or a psychiatrist) can tell you why you do this and what to do about it.

here where I live this comes with many different medical and and mental health problems and even normal stuff too can cause person to want to self harm as a coping tool. to find out if you have any mental or medical conditions that are causing you to self harm like this you will need to contact your medical doctor, therapist or psychiatrist or one near you. we are not allowed to diagnose each other. all we do here is read each others posts and share whether we have had the same problems and how we are handling the problems with in ourselves.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by HolographicTardis

Ok so for as long as I can remember when I'm alone I tend to have the urge to jerk my body or convulse. Also I click my teeth, clench my eyes, and hit my arms. This usually happens when I'm upset. I always seem to shake or jerk my body when I'm by myself and it makes me feel less anxious. I have always done this but I only just realized that it probably isn't normal. Any ideas on what it could be if it is anything? Thanks.

another suggestion...maybe reading your past posts will help you figure out what things you can do to help yourself. I didnt recognize your name so I looked at some of your past posts and they detail many of your self harm problems, how you cope with it and that you call it self harming and anxiety, and diagnosed with anxiety with self harm. so by reading your past posts you can see you already have your answer to what this is called in you. thats a good thing because now that you know what its called you can call your treatment providers and they can help you. one thing that helps me with anxiety related problems is medication. maybe you can talk with your treatment providers about whether that will work for you.

[avlady]

i have full blown epilepsy but maybe you have petite epilepsy. th means you dont have alot of seizures or you don't even know you're having them, like going into a stare,

[Crescent Moon]

I am in the field of epilepsy. It does not sound like epilepsy at all. Your symptoms could be caused by stress. I recommend seeing a neurologist to further explore.

[avlady]

I have had several friends that suffer from epilepsy, i didn't even know it myself until they told me so i would know what to do if they were acting or doing strange movements and such. All i know is what i've learned from those that have epilepsy, i didn't mean to sound like it was the answer, i know that must have been scarry. I had 3 seizures and was pronounced dead after each one all in a row. I'm on meds and havn't had one in over 4 years, i am also dignosed with several other disorders and such, schitzoaffective, bipolar, depression and others too. A neurologist is who i saw afterwards, he helped me greatly. i found out i have sleep apnea that is dibilitating when i can't get to sleep in the night.The next day is always horrible. i mentioned that some of my friends have epilepsy, and they just sit there and stare into space until the so called seizures go away.

[-jimi-]

I have had tic syndrome on and off. My last bout with it was a few years ago after a strep infection. I have tics normally too but not to that extent. I had a large bout of tics from age 13-14. Then my face felt weird and I needed to tic quite often and also I squirmed because I never felt I sat right. My adult tics are more tensing like stretching my fingers and similar. Or stretching my shoulders. If I'm not allowed to tic it just builds up. For me I don't tic more from stress BUT that is a very common thing. It was once called nervous tic because people tic more while stressed. The thing is all people don't, only people with tics tic more under stress. So it's not brought on by stress just worsened by it.

The nature of a tic is that compared to other muscle jerks it is a voluntary movement. You know you are doing it. You know you will do it. The urge might just come over you but it is actually you who carry out the tic, while other muscle jerks might surprise you because they are completely involuntary. When I say voluntary I don't mean you are able to suppress them (some people can delay them), because it is in the nature of tic disorder that the urge is too strong not to obey.

Hope I'm making sense here.

[-jimi-]

Another though that comes over me is that it might be a stim. The real difference is that with a tic, it builds up and needs to be carried out. The relief is just from the tic itself.

A stim can help with general anxiety, overload and stress. Stims are often rhythmical or circular in some way (although most mine are not). When I stim I do so my mind will sort of be distracted and busy, a sort of self soothing.

Some only stim when they are upset, some stim when they do nothing else, and some stim when they are excited.

Most stims are "harmless" but sometimes people have self harming stims. Self harming stims are often to block out pain (mental or physical). Other stims can sort of have different jobs.

[HolographicTardis]

Sorry if I used convulsing in the wrong way. I wasn't sure what word describes it best. I apologize ☺️

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by HolographicTardis

Sorry if I used convulsing in the wrong way. I wasn't sure what word describes it best. I apologize ☺️

You didn't use it in the wrong way . Convulsions or other involuntary body movements can be caused by all kinds of things. Seizures with epilepsy are caused by a synchronous firing of a group of neurons in the brain. It can be just a small part, or it can involve the whole brain. The symptoms an individual has depends on what part of the brain is involved.

Convulsions can also be caused by things like electrolyte imbalances and extremely low blood sugar in Type 1 diabetics.

I think the other poster's suggestion that it could be stim is wise. Your symptoms could easily line up with that.

Epileptic seizures are very confusing for most people because the seizures themselves are varied. Most people are familiar with 'big' seizures where someone falls down and is stiff and jerking. But there are so many more subtle ways to have seizures. A common type already mentioned are Absence seizures that are characterized by someone stopping what they are doing and staring off.. Sometimes with eyelid fluttering. These seizures last 5 to 20 seconds and the person has no memory of it.

Other interesting seizures are, for example, Gelastic seizures. It comes from a small growth very deep in the brain on the hypothalamus. When having a seizure, the only symptom is laughter that is for no reason. Another type of seizure is characterized by the person smelling an awful, indescribable smell for 2 min. Or less that no one else smells. Most people would have no idea that these can be epileptic seizures!

Anyway... Thought I'd just share some interesting information about seizures from someone in the field.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by HolographicTardis

Sorry if I used convulsing in the wrong way. I wasn't sure what word describes it best. I apologize ☺️

Nothing you need to apologize about. You asked a valid question. If you knew what it was you would know what it was called. And then you never needed to ask in the first place...

[SnakeCharmer]

I think maybe this is the key sentence in your post:

for as long as I can remember when I'm alone I tend to have the urge to jerk my body or convulse.

If it was a neurological condition like epilepsy or Tourette Syndrome, it's unlikely you could confine your jerking, convulsing and hitting yourself to those times when you were alone. If you do this voluntarily to ease your anxiety, it could all be a complex form of self-harm, perhaps related to OCD behaviors, to reduce your anxious feelings. It could even be faux seizures, which are psychologically induced rather than neurological in nature. There are many possibilities. But the fact that you can confine this behavior to the times you're alone does make it look like it might be an emotional or psychological problem that you can get help with.

Do you have a treatment team of any kind? If you do, it might be important for it to include both a psychiatrist, who is a medical doctor, and a therapist.

If you don't have a treatment team, you probably need to find a doctor, either a primary care provider or a clinic of some kind. A doctor can run basic tests to make sure you're generally healthy. It would be good to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist and therapist. You might need to see a neurologist, too, just to check out whether this is neurological (coming from your brain and central nervous system) or psychological (coming from your emotions and thinking) in origin.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds very difficult. But the fact that you do it voluntarily when you're alone to reduce anxiety does make it sound like it's something that could be helped by therapy. It's possible that you start it voluntarily and then it takes on a life of its own, running its course until you run out of steam.

If you don't have medical insurance, it may not be too late to sign up under the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare.) If your income is limited you may be able to get free or very low cost medical insurance that will cover many of your expenses, including giving you access to therapy. I wish you the best.