[marmaduke]

I was neglected as a kid, mother never seemed to like me, told me I was useless stuipid, ugly, fat. Constantly reminded how 'unspecial' I was. I was a burden.
They'd desparately wanted a boy after two girls, I was a big disapointment.
They were cold, self absorbed people. I was never hugged, I never felt loved.

Mother used to tell me when I was young that she was putting me in a home, I would cry myself to sleep, terrified.
Then, one day (I was about 7) she said this to me. I went to bed and was sooo desparately unhappy life seemed like some miserable nighmare. If I pinched myself hard enought would I wake up?
I decided this night through my tears that enough was enough, mother did not want me. Now I WANTED to go into a home, I wanted to be away from this woman.
So next time she said it I told her "mum, I want to go into a home how soon can I go?"
She never said those words again.
BUT, I truely thought she would put me a home, simple, she didnt want me and I wanted to go. So I waited eagerly, excited I was going to start a new life! I waited for the nice lady to come and pick me up. Weeks later-------------------- nothing.
I was getting worried, I wanted to ask mother 'when was the lady coming, when could I go to my new home?' But I was too scared to ask her, case she got nasty.
Evenually I realised I was going no where, I started to cry myself back to sleep again.
My question is am I unsual in WANTING to be fostered/adopted. How many people have felt the same or an I the only one?

[avlady]

I always wished i could be a kid who had to go anywhere but where i was with my parents.my brothers and sisters, we all wanted to be somewhere else. i came from a poor family, my parents were very strict, and when they fought they would talk about who was going to take who, which kids would go with either of them. Things eventually got better but i remember them fighting alot as a kid, and it scarred the heck out of me.i think all kids want to dream about a different place at one time or another, or am i like you, a needle in a haystack???

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

I understand that the idea of being adopted might seem good if you did not feel whatsoever loved by your parents. I had one parent that loved me with all her heart and a dad that never seemed to love me the right way. Maybe he did, I don't know. I guess in life there are no perfect parents, whether they adopt you or not. I saw where Tom Brady has an adopted child, the famous mega millionaire. Oh to have been adopted by someone like that!!!

[Ruftin]

I'm adopted...I don't think it makes much of a difference. My family now is still imperfect.

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Originally Posted by Ruftin

I'm adopted...I don't think it makes much of a difference. My family now is still imperfect.

Being adopted certainly would not make your life perfect

[kim_johnson]

Yeah, I had to push and push and push and push and push before I got to go into a foster home when I was 14. Seems that nobody was capable / willing to listen to an actual word that I said about the matter...

Ironically... My mother adopted 2 boys during her first marriage (before she married my Father). This was back when... When we used to think everything was genetically determined so people were unwilling to adopt because they thought they would be adopting murderers and rapists and so on...

So... I guess... If I had been put up for adoption... Chances are I'd have been adopted by someone (just as bad as) my Mother. Only... I'd have had her rubbing my face in it every 5 minutes...

[gizmo87]

Originally Posted by avlady

I always wished i could be a kid who had to go anywhere but where i was with my parents.my brothers and sisters, we all wanted to be somewhere else. i came from a poor family, my parents were very strict, and when they fought they would talk about who was going to take who, which kids would go with either of them. Things eventually got better but i remember them fighting alot as a kid, and it scarred the heck out of me.i think all kids want to dream about a different place at one time or another, or am i like you, a needle in a haystack???

My childhood was definitely filled with dreams like that. I used to wonder what it was like to be someone else's child or to live in town where I could walk to school or have some place to run to when things heated up, maybe for someone to hear it. I always envied my best friend, because his dad was an engineer and always seemed interested in what he was doing. I'd see a movie every now and again when I was around 10 where a lonely kid had a really neat Frenchman as an imaginary friend and I can remember bawling my eyes out at the end when they had to part ways, but not before the friend told the kid he was going to be okay and he would always be with him. I wanted someone to care about me like that. To this day I can't remember the name of it, but it has stuck with me.

yes, yes, and yes

i would have been loved, cared for, had my needs met, and been more open

i think about it every night actually, why is my family thought of as a "family", when they can't act family like

and it's depressing to think that now it's too late and i'm stuck with it all

[marmaduke]

Originally Posted by Ruftin

I'm adopted...I don't think it makes much of a difference. My family now is still imperfect.

There is no 100% guarantee an adoptive parent will be good of course, its just that 80% of natural parents are good and 80% of adoptive parents are good, so, instead of a 100% chance of a crappy life with my natural parents I wanted that 80% of a good life with adoptive ones!

I would not have missed my 'natural parents' one bit.

Sorry to hear your adoptive parents are not as good as they should be.

[marmaduke]

kim, did you like your foster parents, were you happier with them?

[kim_johnson]

Meh.

It was a group home sort of thing. There was this big house... And they could take up to 6 girls. They had both had kids in their first marriage but never had kids together so they... Ran the home as a way of having kids together, I guess.

In a way it was perhaps better than a foster home would have been because I wasn't trying to fit into an established family. All the girls there were in similar situations to me. The girls were mostly okay. 3 or 4 of them were there for quite some time... 1 of them became like a sister to me - but I haven't seen her for years now. We typically had one space kept free for emergency respite situation. We had our own (lockable by us) room.

I was only there till 16 at which point I was old enough for a government allowance to live by myself while I finished school. They stipulated that I had to live in a 'boarding' stituation with a family or something (to prevent me sharing a house with other kids my age and likely drinking / drugging all day). So I did that... Moved in with a really lovely lady and her 6 and 8 year old kid. Thinking back now... She looked after me a lot. Cooked me dinner etc...