Adult daughter accusing me of chikd abuse

I think parents can do the best they know and be acting out of their idea of love and still be very damaging to their children. Everyone is a flawed individual and makes mistakes in life, parents are not an exception. Sometimes we differ in how we view things as individuals. If she sees it differently than you it doesn't make her a liar. Don't you have any regrets as a parent? I have lots of things I wish had been different. It breaks my heart to think I have crippled my baby in some ways. None of it was deliberate or intended but the effect on him was real. Our children are not little copies of us, they are their own unique individuals with their own needs.

I just want to say that it's very hard to forgive someone who thinks they are always right and can do no wrong, and refuses to acknowledge they have hurt you.

Well said, IFG!

Hear! Hear!

You know, anyone with mental health issues is going to look long and hard in to their past for anything that might explain why things are the way they are.

I love my Mother and my Father. Neither of them abused me.

Were they perfect parents? No. Such a thing does not exist: The perfect parent. Did I have complaints? Most assuredly. I find that normal.

What I don't find normal is the voodoo psych deciding for anyone what happened. They can lead you down the illusory path, if you let them. Maybe that's my personal experience speaking, but I am not not a parent. Just a son that knows parents are people too.

my mother and father used to hit us as kids, corpral punishment. it took forever to forgive them. that was just a reaction to how they were disciplined. she will come around hopefully as she gets older, that is what happened to me. she does need to take responsibility for her own actions although and i don't think you are all that bad, you did what you felt you had to.sometimes it is just so frustrating that they don't listen, but give it time to heal and forgive each other.

Give the mom a break. She already shared how much she had been there for her daughter. Her daughter has issues and she already admitted she had lied. Both of them are in pain and taking a time out to get away from the situation is often best. My daughter did it to me too. I can't help but notice that you seem very angry. Take a deep breath, relax and do something fun and then come back and share your thoughts and feelings. Lots of hugs

Some things simply can't be forgiven or forgotten ... Especially when the person who caused the initial injury will not apologize, and worse yet, continues to insist on blaming the person they've harmed as being the one at fault.

I have a feeling that the original poster will not be back to revisit this thread. She isn't getting the blanket pardon she thought she'd find here. She didn't count on the thousands of us "daughters" being here ... Those of us who had "mothers" just like her.

Those kinds of "mothers" would rather be "right" than loved. They can have their "rightness" ... We'll find a way to heal and recover on our own, and move along in life doing the best we can to NOT become a carbon copy of what our "mothers" were and were not to us.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!



PS ... There's a HUGE difference between having poor parenting skills and being abusive. Making a mistake due to lack of parenting skills is one thing. To knowingly use and manipulate a child to get at one another and then to abuse that child as a result is a whole other matter. What both of these parents did to this child during her most tender & formative years was not due to poor parenting. It was outright abuse and, therefore, not acceptable (nor excusable) in any way, shape or form! ... Period!