[emory_]

I've been struggling a lot lately, and my main issue is not understanding which of my mental illnesses is causing which feeling. Bipolar? Borderline? ADD? Anxiety? Something entirely different, undiagnosed and untreated? As I was having a particularly bad night a few nights ago, I was laying in bed twisting and turning my limbs because I was restlessly exhausted. This thought suddenly popped into my head, and it was the only way I've ever found to describe exactly the way I was feeling.

It feels as if my entire body, every atom, every neuron, every nerve and muscle, every thought, every cell, is a magnet. When I feel healthy, the magnets attract each other and I come together to form a cohesive unit. But when I am not healthy, every magnet is repelling every other magnet. Like my body struggles to stay together from the repulsion, every thought feels like it's got a negative energy trying to pry it from my brain even if the thought isn't negative, like every cell is trying to push each other cell away.

I hope someone else relates to this feeling (but of course, I also hope no one else feels this bad, ever, in their entire life).

[avlady]

thats exactly how i feel right now, im going through a med change and can't even get a nap in i feel so bad.

[angelicgoldfish05]

I understand. I struggle with lots of different issues (not formally diagnosed in many) and sometimes it is hard to tell what is causing what. Oftentimes I just want the pain to end. I have felt like something in my body is at war with itself. At times, there is such negative magnets, as you call them, that they are almost turning against each other. It's hard to explain. But I think I understand what you are saying.