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Apr 12, 2007 at 12:02 AM
#1
Well I have finally done it, I have managed to alienate everyone around me online and even my only irl friend wont talk to me anymore,
He camped his sorry butt in my room for the last 2 days after I got hit by a car last Friday, which failed to stop, on my way to his house to score some weed, then I proceeded to fall down the steep iron stairs to his basement flat, I was struggling to walk at the time as I was in a lot of pain, the kind of pain that only a co.cktail of copious amounts of drink, weed and prescription drugs would mask, only to find when I finally got down there he wasn’t in, I’m just bruised, hurting and annoyed nothing physically serious, but I still had to drag my sorry, bruised and bashed butt back up the stairs and get home via the public transport system, which if any of you know or remember I don’t like using because it triggers my DID because of the physical contact of crowded busses and tubes, so yeah that was a big bucket of fun, just so I wont bypass the profanity filter again I will leave the choice of expletives I was using all the way home to your own colourful imaginations My ex-friend was trying to talk me into seeing the doctor over my weight loss, not eating, heavy drinking and cutting myself, I was unable to get out of bed to get rid of him physically because of the bruising from my hip to my knee caused by the car and the stairs, so verbally I ripped him to shreds at any and all opportunities just to get rid of him, he didn’t really deserve it, but he wouldn’t go away, I am so acerbic at the moment anyone and everyone is fair game to me. Oh did I fail to mention it was the 1 year anniversary of my now ex-friends moms funeral last weekend ? So I know he just wanted the company and someone to talk to himself, to get him threw the week, I wanted neither, so I told him exactly where to go and where to stick the friendship, yes I really am that much of a illegitimate child when I want to be, I am sick of dealing with other peoples crap all the time whilst letting my own problems build to a point where even denial is no longer a valid option, rant, rant, rant………………and relax. My doctor has resorted to sending me emails reminding me I should have seen her 2 weeks ago for my weigh in and that I have missed my last 2 appointments, another appointment has been made for me for this Friday, I have not responded to her, nor have I responded to the mental health teams knocking on my door twice this week already, trying to get in my room to see me, I am not going to be sectioned again by those incompetent fools My current mood swings are erratic, verging on violent uncontrollable rage, depression to the depths that make me cut, to the sheer desperation of getting my butt out of bed to cook a meal only to throw it in the bin uneaten or only slightly picked at. my tolerance level for any interaction irl is zero, online in various sites its worse, my outlook and opinions currently are caustic, spiteful, educated personal verbal assaults, put them down before they put you down sort of thing, oh and hurtful with a hint of sarcasm to really rub it in, So I guess what I am saying is if I have ignored any of you recently I have done it for a reason, don’t take it personally, the less people I talk to right now the better for everyone. |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Ga
Posts: 13,936
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Apr 12, 2007 at 01:02 AM
#2
I am here when you are ready mellors.
__________________ He who angers you controls you! |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2007
Posts: 1,207
17 |
Apr 12, 2007 at 01:59 AM
#3
im sorry for whats been happening...good luck we are here for you when you need us....
__________________ "You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
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18 2,039 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 02:46 AM
#4
Was wondering where you disappeared to Mellors.
I disagree with the last line of your post, but that's just me. I think you have a lot of people here willing to listen. If you ever want to chat, you know where to find me. __________________ 
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Posts: 2,904
17 |
Apr 12, 2007 at 04:02 AM
#5
So sorry this has happened to you...the crash I mean...we are here to listen whenever you need....take care!!!
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: a small locked room in my head
Posts: 7,949
18 235 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 06:41 AM
#6
mellors, when your ready to talk , know im here to listen.
__________________  lifes a game, i no longer wish to play
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,921
17 273 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 06:44 AM
#7
Mellors,
Wow, you have a lot going on. I don't really know what to say other than I am here to listen if you need to talk. Hang in there. __________________ You don't have to fly straight...  ...just keep it between the lines!
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Guest
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Apr 12, 2007 at 08:23 AM
#8
thinking of you.........
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
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Apr 12, 2007 at 09:09 AM
#9
oh mellors! That's quite a lot with which to contend!!! Hope you get to feeling better soon.... you have had enough struggles!
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Q&A Leader
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 94,092
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Apr 12, 2007 at 09:31 AM
#10
Hope things get better for you soon.............. __________________  Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
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19 6,336 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 12:28 PM
#11
Im here if and when you feel like talking.
__________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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Apr 12, 2007 at 01:17 PM
#12
Hey, Babe! You haven't allienated ME... and it looks like there's lots of other people here that are still your friends.
Take care of YOU. You know what you need to do. Know that you're being thought of in kind, gentle ways. 
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Magnate
Member Since May 2005
Posts: 2,252
19 |
Apr 12, 2007 at 02:42 PM
#13
((((((((((((mellors))))))))))
__________________ Live life passionately, love unconditionally. Hope for the best, laugh your heart out. Cry when you need to, learn from the past. And remember what is meant to be will find its way. |
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Grand Magnate
Community Liaison
Member Since Oct 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 4,344
17 45 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 02:47 PM
#14
Mellors. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care soidhonia
__________________ The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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Guest
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Apr 12, 2007 at 03:00 PM
#15
(((((((((((((sending you a hug))))))))))
here whenever you need support jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxox |
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
18 513 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 05:11 PM
#16
((((((((((((((((Mellors))))))))))))))))))
We are here to listen when you're ready to talk. __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights  |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: Auckland, Aotearoa
Posts: 1,985
19 |
Apr 12, 2007 at 07:17 PM
#17
you know i always will be ...
x |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2006
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,395
17 3 hugs
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Apr 12, 2007 at 07:49 PM
#18
Mellors, I'm sorry you're suffering. Take a deep breath. Use that great brain, charm and wit of yours to find some balance.
As everyone else has said, we're all here for you. Okie __________________ 
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Guest
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Apr 12, 2007 at 09:09 PM
#19
I do care for you!
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