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#1
Apr 12, 2007, 12:02 AM
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Well I have finally done it, I have managed to alienate everyone around me online and even my only irl friend wont talk to me anymore,
He camped his sorry butt in my room for the last 2 days after I got hit by a car last Friday, which failed to stop, on my way to his house to score some weed, then I proceeded to fall down the steep iron stairs to his basement flat, I was struggling to walk at the time as I was in a lot of pain, the kind of pain that only a co.cktail of copious amounts of drink, weed and prescription drugs would mask, only to find when I finally got down there he wasn’t in, I’m just bruised, hurting and annoyed nothing physically serious, but I still had to drag my sorry, bruised and bashed butt back up the stairs and get home via the public transport system, which if any of you know or remember I don’t like using because it triggers my DID because of the physical contact of crowded busses and tubes, so yeah that was a big bucket of fun, just so I wont bypass the profanity filter again I will leave the choice of expletives I was using all the way home to your own colourful imaginations My ex-friend was trying to talk me into seeing the doctor over my weight loss, not eating, heavy drinking and cutting myself, I was unable to get out of bed to get rid of him physically because of the bruising from my hip to my knee caused by the car and the stairs, so verbally I ripped him to shreds at any and all opportunities just to get rid of him, he didn’t really deserve it, but he wouldn’t go away, I am so acerbic at the moment anyone and everyone is fair game to me. Oh did I fail to mention it was the 1 year anniversary of my now ex-friends moms funeral last weekend ? So I know he just wanted the company and someone to talk to himself, to get him threw the week, I wanted neither, so I told him exactly where to go and where to stick the friendship, yes I really am that much of a illegitimate child when I want to be, I am sick of dealing with other peoples crap all the time whilst letting my own problems build to a point where even denial is no longer a valid option, rant, rant, rant………………and relax. My doctor has resorted to sending me emails reminding me I should have seen her 2 weeks ago for my weigh in and that I have missed my last 2 appointments, another appointment has been made for me for this Friday, I have not responded to her, nor have I responded to the mental health teams knocking on my door twice this week already, trying to get in my room to see me, I am not going to be sectioned again by those incompetent fools My current mood swings are erratic, verging on violent uncontrollable rage, depression to the depths that make me cut, to the sheer desperation of getting my butt out of bed to cook a meal only to throw it in the bin uneaten or only slightly picked at. my tolerance level for any interaction irl is zero, online in various sites its worse, my outlook and opinions currently are caustic, spiteful, educated personal verbal assaults, put them down before they put you down sort of thing, oh and hurtful with a hint of sarcasm to really rub it in, So I guess what I am saying is if I have ignored any of you recently I have done it for a reason, don’t take it personally, the less people I talk to right now the better for everyone. |
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#2
Apr 12, 2007, 01:02 AM
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I am here when you are ready mellors.
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
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#3
Apr 12, 2007, 01:59 AM
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im sorry for whats been happening...good luck we are here for you when you need us....
__________________
"You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
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#4
Apr 12, 2007, 02:46 AM
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Was wondering where you disappeared to Mellors.
I disagree with the last line of your post, but that's just me. I think you have a lot of people here willing to listen. If you ever want to chat, you know where to find me.
__________________
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#5
Apr 12, 2007, 04:02 AM
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So sorry this has happened to you...the crash I mean...we are here to listen whenever you need....take care!!!
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#6
Apr 12, 2007, 06:41 AM
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mellors, when your ready to talk , know im here to listen.
__________________
 lifes a game, i no longer wish to play
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#7
Apr 12, 2007, 06:44 AM
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Mellors,
Wow, you have a lot going on. I don't really know what to say other than I am here to listen if you need to talk. Hang in there.
__________________
You don't have to fly straight...  ...just keep it between the lines!
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#8
Apr 12, 2007, 08:23 AM
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thinking of you.........
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#9
Apr 12, 2007, 09:09 AM
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oh mellors! That's quite a lot with which to contend!!! Hope you get to feeling better soon.... you have had enough struggles!
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#10
Apr 12, 2007, 09:31 AM
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Hope things get better for you soon..............
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#11
Apr 12, 2007, 12:28 PM
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Im here if and when you feel like talking.
__________________
I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#12
Apr 12, 2007, 01:17 PM
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Hey, Babe! You haven't allienated ME... and it looks like there's lots of other people here that are still your friends.
Take care of YOU. You know what you need to do. Know that you're being thought of in kind, gentle ways. 
__________________
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#13
Apr 12, 2007, 02:42 PM
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((((((((((((mellors))))))))))
__________________
Live life passionately, love unconditionally. Hope for the best, laugh your heart out. Cry when you need to, learn from the past. And remember what is meant to be will find its way. |
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#14
Apr 12, 2007, 02:47 PM
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Mellors. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care soidhonia
__________________
The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#15
Apr 12, 2007, 03:00 PM
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(((((((((((((sending you a hug))))))))))
here whenever you need support jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxox |
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#16
Apr 12, 2007, 05:11 PM
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((((((((((((((((Mellors))))))))))))))))))
We are here to listen when you're ready to talk.
__________________
Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights  |
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#17
Apr 12, 2007, 07:17 PM
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you know i always will be ...
x |
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#18
Apr 12, 2007, 07:49 PM
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Mellors, I'm sorry you're suffering. Take a deep breath. Use that great brain, charm and wit of yours to find some balance.
As everyone else has said, we're all here for you. Okie
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#19
Apr 12, 2007, 09:09 PM
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I do care for you!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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