Porn? on Psych Central blog? Acceptable?

it didn't trigger me alex but I did ask for the icon because I do have alot of friends here that would be triggered. I didn't do it for another debate with you.

i believe that you do understand the trigger situation.......i also believe that if there is an opposite side to be taken, alexandra is going to take it. i know you. and i like you.

and i usually like the way you think......but when you start questioning the mental health of people on a mental health support forum, i think it might be time to take a deep breath and re-assess why you're here. i realize that you are very intelligent and you love debate, however, sometimes we need to live and let live.

there isn't any way for all of us to agree upon everything. i might get pissed if i feel someone else insulted another poster, or if someone feels left out due to a direct action/inaction or if no one responds to a poster who is new and in pain. but i can't see
getting my panties in a wad over the porn trigger situation.

we're here because we're all crazy. is it too difficult to accept that? i'm here because i'm nuts. i own it.......xoxoxo pat

> when you start questioning the mental health of people on a mental health support forum...

i'm not questioning this. i said that i understand that some people find some things triggering etc.

> sometimes we need to live and let live.

and that is precisely what i'm asking people to do.

and i'm asking you to do that...........

> it didn't trigger me alex but I did ask for the icon because I do have alot of friends here that would be triggered.

and you think your friends can't read the thread header / the context?

i appreciate that you were well intentioned and trying to look out for people who might be triggered.

can you appreciate that i am well intentioned and trying to look out for people who post the kinds of posts that some might find triggering.

what one regards as debating another may regard as discussing.

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alexandra_k said:

can you appreciate that i am well intentioned and
what one regards as debating another may regard as discussing.

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Yes, but I have learnt the hard way that that is not the policy here...

I agree with you that if a thread title is descriptive enough then a trigger icon may be somewhat redundant (and it does get a bit of a workout doesn't it ...)

I can see both sides of the "trigger" debate. It's a complicated issue. We're all triggered by different things and some of us do test ourselves to see if we can handle the triggers. I think it's impossible to label everything that has the potential to trigger... and I can also understand why people test themselves with triggers.

My biggest trigger is discussion of financial problems. That's quite an innocuous subject for many people so I don't expect anyone to mark a thread about financial worries as a trigger. I don't expect anyone to know that discussion of money can be traumatic for me. If I see the title of the thread and it mentions finances or money, or I start reading the first post and I see that it's going in that direction, I usually just move on because I know that reading it will cause me too much anxiety. If I'm having a day where I'm feeling stronger than usual, I might test myself... try to read it and see if I can read it rationally, without becoming panicked and nauseated.

I think most of us do our best to protect each other on here, but there are some situations in which we can only protect ourselves.

hey.

i'm wondering if people are getting what i'm saying...

lets say i start a thread 'what i did on the weekend' and i proceed to talk about pornography in the thread. in that case i see that people might be reading my thread because they think it is likely to be a fun thread and it might well come as a bit of a shock to them that i'm talking about pornography which is a subject that a fair few people find triggering.

in that case i can see how 'what i did on the weekend **porn trigger***' would prevent that because people would know what the topic was and would thus have the opportunity to avoid it if the subject was likely to trigger them.

then lets suppose i have a thread titled 'i looked at porn this weekend'. now, if someone says 'the title should have contained a trigger warning because i'm triggered by porn' i'm a little confused... didn't the heading make it clear that the thread was going to be about porn? why is a trigger warning helping at all?

that was what i meant to get at...

there are of course lots of other issues around trigger warnings... e.g., whether one should mention 'finance' in a thread about finances so people triggered by finances can avoid it... or spiders or rats or whatever...

I think we are hearing you loud and clear - lol.

though of course i was speaking hypothetically lol.
i can assure you i did NOT look at porn this weekend. lol.

Yup. I understand what you're saying. You're talking about redundancy and the trigger warning losing its effect if it's over-used. Right?

let's not keep beating a dead horse here as the saying goes. let's just say enough is enough. it is useless to keep this up.

Yes, but it's just going to come up again in another guise if there is no agreement to disagree or whatever ...

Even if their intentions are the very best, there comes a time when members must agree to disagree or take their concerns to pm. I am asking all of you to do that. You may send pms to each other or create a private chat room to debate. You can even use that wonderful tool, the ignore button.

Please keep your replies supportive or take it to private communication.

Jan

Jan, not to be disrespectful of your wishes, but is there something in the Forum Guidelines on this matter? (I don't have time to go and read them right now).

It seems like it's a big issue in terms of 'do's and don'ts' for some people here. Clarification from mods / admins may be useful? E.g. in terms of creating a 'best practice' guideline.

supportive to whom? thats the million dollar question really, isn't it.

i'm sorry that in the absence of cues some people are seeing raised, hostile, and angry voices rather than the calm and level headed exchange of opinion that i'm seeing.

i see the words 'why can't you just agree to disagree?' thrown around a lot...

what does it mean? how is the conversation failing to acknowledge that different people feel differently? isn't that precisely what we were exploring?

I quite often think the words 'agree to disagree' are really a way of saying that one has to be quiet.

and why?

is it such a crime for different people to have different opinions?

such a crime so that we can't possibly say what we think unless we are agreeing 100% with the poster who started the thread?

is that really how people want things to run here?

i don't understand.

Alex, I see what you're saying. However, it's a courtesy, as well as a requirement, to use an icon on obviously triggering material.

I do agree that if a thread is entitled with explicit and descriptive wording, that's a warning in an of itself to a large degree...HOWEVER it might not always be enough...

It's just always good practice, as well as a guideline, to use the icon as a primary or backup tool. For instance, alot of members (I know I do) might look at the member name more than the title and jump in and start reading. Another member might scan the title and see just one word, etc. Yet another member might just click on the thread because it's showing "unread" for them without fully viewing its title. It's a good guideline and a good tool. In these cases I don't find it redundant, not at all.

It's obvious that every trigger of every member can't be known and exceptions made to help that. We're here to talk...sometimes about rough stuff. Triggers can be anything, literally. We risk that when coming online. For instance, how could anyone know that saying the word "mustard" might make me physically ill...quickly with a flashback. My stomach just jumped hard writing that even though I was prepared. We can't know every trigger. There are the obvious triggers though that we need to, for our fellow members and because it's required, use that icon for.

Might it be redundant to use an icon when a title clearly states the content? That would be a personal perception I believe. I personally don't believe it redundant. Redundant is an unnecessary repetition or excess. With all the survivors and triggers here, it's certainly proven necessary, yes? As a guideline it's stated as necessary. If it helps one member, is it excessive? I don't think so.

It's a guideline...bottom line. If you'd like to discuss changing the guideline (or the requirements within one), please shoot a PM to myself, Jan or DocJohn. Just as members are required to post within the guidelines, many many members depend on the guidelines for their experience and the trigger icon guideline would be at the top of the list there.

Now, I do agree that there's pretty much one exception to that and it would be the sexuality forum. It can be almost "anything goes" there in the form of conversation. I do appreciate the warning on pics showing explicit images of any kind. That was used and that is great and appreciated. However, in every other forum I think the trigger icon is appropriate, necessary and useful.

I do think an icon appropriate for this thread in that the discussion was a *bit* descriptive. According the the title, one might just have been reporting or discussing what should be allowed at the blogs. Not everyone would assume that the convo would use specific wording, description, etc.

The issue was dealt with, and is monitored. The original poster's questions were answered and I hope her mind was eased a bit. Any further discussion as to whether a guideline should be changed should be had in PM with an admin.

Thanks!

KD

Also,

I think the original thread has run its course and the thread has now gone way off topic as to the original content.

KD

thank you kd f

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kimmydawn said:
Also,

I think the original thread has run its course and the thread has now gone way off topic as to the original content.

KD

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In that case.................... can we lock it now and let it be - for how much can someone really say about this subject before it is just merely being repeated.

(and) - not to mention that the mere word of PORN on the INTERNET seems to send me running and wanting to hide in a very deep dark hole, not to mention the anxiety it stirs in me as well as others. (shivers)

My bad...I meant to lock it with my last post.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, concern and head's up regarding the porn that was on the blogs. It's wonderful to know that ALL of us care about the PC experience and our fellow members, and helps to maintain the same.

KD