[AlteredState01]

and all you who like to BS about it....

I have received so many PM's slamming other people that it makes me SICK to be here.

I actually thought I needed help, but actually, I am relatively stable compared to all the crap that comes my way privately (yes, that would be Private Messaging I am talking about).

No wonder everyone is so messed up right now - it is like being in junior high school in here.

If this is suppose to be a site for curative speak, then we all sorely lack the compassion we so desperately seek from others.

DocJohn, get ahold of PMs, because that is what is destroying this place...

Altered State

[darkeyes]

Perhaps, you should just PM him or other admins. about this problem, rather than such a post.
Just a thought.

[selfy]

i agree!!!!!! ppl should be nice to each other! jeez! i mean its not AS bad as high school... its WORSE! PC was made out of compassion, and should be used for compassion. if u dont like someone or summat,,,, then dont talk to them,,, is that so hard to do? dont go round sending hateful PMs!
grrrr!

[DocJohn]

I'm sorry you feel that way AS...

We put control of such matters into your hands, because you're all adults -- this isn't preschool and I'm not the principal.

Feel bothered by PM's? Turn them off.

Still want to keep in touch only certain members but not others? Place the members you don't want to receive PMs from on your Ignore list.

DocJohn

[AlteredState01]

Oh please, PM who??? Someone else to ***** at about someone else? Where would it end?

[AlteredState01]

Touche!

I never expected to have to play intermediary either. I never expected to have to keep defending myself through private messaging either - all I wanted was people who could relate, not gossip designed to pull me toward one group or another, either.... If you don''t like being principal, how do you think I feel being manipulated like a grade-schooler?

AS

[DocJohn]

It takes two people to have a conversation. If you choose, you can choose not to be a part of that conversation, that's all I'm saying. Gossip or no.

I understand that some people's tolerance level for these kinds of things is pretty low, but anytime you get a large group of people together like here, you're going to have things like gossip. I can't stop it, nobody can stop it -- it's a normal part of large group dynamics.

You can, however, choose not to be a part of it or engage in it. I acknowledge that may be difficult or very hard to do sometimes, but it's really up to you, not me or someone else reading everyone's private messages to one another! (Kind of defeats the concept of "private" too, don't ya think?)

DocJohn

[AlteredState01]

True.

AS

[SeptemberMorn]

AS, I'm aware of it, too. There are quite a few of us that are aware of it. I've put these people on Ignore, but I knew it was continuing as proven by your post. Like January says "The IGNORE button is your friend." You won't have to always use it. People will get the idea that you're not into that kind of crap.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{AS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[southernyankee]

[Fuzzybear]

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
AlteredState01 said:
and all you who like to BS about it....

I have received so many PM's slamming other people that it makes me SICK to be here.

I actually thought I needed help, but actually, I am relatively stable compared to all the crap that comes my way privately (yes, that would be Private Messaging I am talking about).

No wonder everyone is so messed up right now - it is like being in junior high school in here.

If this is suppose to be a site for curative speak, then we all sorely lack the compassion we so desperately seek from others.

DocJohn, get ahold of PMs, because that is what is destroying this place...

Altered State


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Quoted ... for ... truth ...

[Danialla]

Wow, I must be really out of the loop (thank God), because I have never received a PM berating another person.

Now, truth be told, I don't receive a lot of PMs generally, but I have NEVER received one that was mean or spiteful in anyway.

Unfortunately, I see the fallout of those mean spirited PMs in threads like this one..........what a shame.

This site is such a wonderful resource for those who suffer from an MI (like myself), or have loved ones who do.

Please let us all work to keep it that way......

While I can understand you're not wanting to get PM's that speak of others in negative ways, I think there is also a good side to PM's.

PM's can help those that are too shy, scared or lack confidence to post something... so they share their situation with a trusted member/friend using PMs. It can even be a "stepping stone" to posting.... kind of like practicing posting but on a safer feeling-smaller scale.

Some of us have endured ridicule and invalidation IRL-- all our lives-- so PM's with a safe person can mean a lot to us.

I hope you can see the good side of them and I hope that they will never be discontinued..

AS--

mandy

[allthegirls6]

I think if a person receives a rude PM they should send it to a mod. That would sort the problem out. Its not the type of topic that can be resolved in a thread as noone will admit to sending one. The mods are there to help with this problem and really are the only solution

i use the ignore button. then they can't PM me.

and i don't have to read any of their posts.

it's very easy. like going out to lunch and ordering only what you want from the menu........

There is another way, and that is to be assertive and direct and say "I don't like to receive PM's that slam others. I won't be replying to those kinds of PM's."

Then do it.

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
allthegirls6 said:
I think if a person receives a rude PM they should send it to a mod. That would sort the problem out. Its not the type of topic that can be resolved in a thread as noone will admit to sending one. The mods are there to help with this problem and really are the only solution

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

So basically, people shouldn't be allowed to battle it out for themselves?

You are encouraging kiss and tell behaviour?

Most people here are adults. Need to try and resolve things yourself, rather than depending on Mummy and Daddy Mod ...

[southernyankee]

I know, how about a boxing ring room or a wrestling mat, on the order of the naughty mat. Only those who need to go there.

Never received a rude PM. I also don't get a lot of them so I had no idea this was going on. I hope people can be more compassionate & caring towards others.--Suzy

[SeptemberMorn]

I wish I could find the humor in it, but I can't. I've received too many PMs from people that have been hurt not only by PM but on the board. Unfortunately, there's no way to resolve this for the time being.

You can put the offending party(ies) on ignore but the groups of people that do this will continue their games covertly between themselves and on the board.

(((((((Altered State)))))))))))

[drunksunflower]

People also need to be realistic.

One man's trash is another man's treasure and all that ...

Echoes, would you be doing that in a PM back to them or would you start a thread stating that? PMs are supposed to be private and if you engage with the original PMer, isn't that what they want?