[Helplessday]

How long does it take to get mindfulness to stay and work

[(JD)]

Mindfulness is a constant experience...you stay aware of keeping it all the time.

It takes at least 21 days of good effort to change any attitude or mindset. It takes only 63 days to change even the worst offender of bad attitude (like someone who has been negative all his/her life to change to be a healthy positive person if they want and work on it.)

I am sure that the "ah ha" day is different for everyone. Some begin already knowing "when" they have a negative thought or are drifting off mentally...others still have to learn to notice, you know?

Begin small... like right this moment realize, tell yourself... I am reading a post on PsychCentral...and considering responding to it. THAT'S mindfulness. To not allow other thoughts in while you are doing ONE task ect is mindfulness.

It's a great way to allay anxiety...because if one can stay focussed on the here and now only, there's really no thought nor time to worry. Much success for you!

[Helplessday]

That does help a lot but it's hard to get started and that's what I'm having trouble with. I do ok for a day or two then it just goes alway and it takes me a week to get started again

[eskielover]

Mindfulness is about seeing the big picture of the world around you & the things going on in your life...........the key is staying aware of everything that touches your life.

When you see the big picture then you can see how you look at it logically & emotionally & then.....the wise mind is the intersection of the 2 in making the wise decisions through the mindfulness of seeing the big picture.

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Mindfulness is about seeing the big picture of the world around you & the things going on in your life...........the key is staying aware of everything that touches your life.

When you see the big picture then you can see how you look at it logically & emotionally & then.....the wise mind is the intersection of the 2 in making the wise decisions through the mindfulness of seeing the big picture.

First of all, helpless day, thanks for this question. JD, I think your description of what mindfulness is was very good, it brought all I've learned back to me.

Eskie, No offense but I don't think what you wrote is about mindfulness. I took an almost year long intense DBT class and I don't recall it as being taught that way.

I would like a refresher class so that I could really learn that skill, I think it would help with my obsessive thinking.

[eskielover]

Eskie, No offense but I don't think what you wrote is about mindfulness. I took an almost year long intense DBT class and I don't recall it as being taught that way.

ForeverLonelyGirl, also, no offense but I was in intense DBT class for 2 years & have continued on for the last 2 years in the "Next Step" DBT group. Took detailed notes of everything we were taught during those 2 years.......

My notes on Mindfulness.....
Core skills:
Be in control of mind, not mind in control of you (in other words don't allow emotional or reasonable mind be in control)
Control of attentional process....pay attention to what's going on around (be aware of the big picture)

What skills:
Observe:
open to everything that's going on around you (not stuck on any ONE thing)
Be alert to EVERYTHING....thoughts, feelings, actions
Step inside self & watch thoughts, feelings doing
notice senses

Describe
put words on feeling
connect to experience
words define what is happening, thought is not reality until in words

Participate
Become one with experience

mindfulness is seeing the big picture of what is going on around you relating to what your reasonable & emotional states of mind are dealing with & being able to identify & define so that you can integrate those states & come up with wise mind decisions to base your actions on.

Mindfulness was the unit that was placed between each of the other three sections.....so we got basically 6 times through mindfulness to the 2 times through each of the other sections

[-jimi-]

I've never understood what mindfulness is. The way it has been explained to me never made sense. Either I am dumb, or it doesn't make sense to people like me.

[superfly47]

Meditation helps. Your mind will wander in the beginning for most of the time, but the more you do it the better you get and the more peaceful it becomes. Key is to not get frustrated and start with a time that isn't too hard.

If you find you have to really force yourself to do 10 minutes, you likely won't keep that up, so move down to 7. Over time you might want to increase it.

[Helplessday]

Mindfulnes is the hardest part of Bpd you are constantly having to start over and just when you think you have it under control one thing messes it up I think sometimes it is just better to stop caring live in a room and never let anyone in ever

[Helplessday]

Right now I'm doing it I was good not talking to the trigger in my life but now that I am it's all back the feeling the hurt the fear of losing my friend so how can I do it and still stay with the people around me that make mindfulness so hard counseling can only go so far to help you

[(JD)]

I'm not so sure that meditation practice helps with mindfulness as they are not the same... with meditation you "allow" all the thoughts to "flow through" and if you find yourself focussing on one, you stop yourself and calm and continue to "allow" so you can relax and be at peace.

Mindfulness is stopping those intruding thoughts and staying focussed upon what is the task at hand.

As for the "big picture" I also disagree...but maybe it was just in the note taking that erred?

Mindfulness is blocking out the rest of the world while focussing upon "one" item. Now that "one item" might be a conversation with another person...so yes, the "big picture" might be to be mindful of your surroundings, where you are (you wouldn't want to mention some things in a busy public place, for instance), with whom you are speaking, how you can compliment them...etc. But one would not be mindful if they were trying to keep track of all the people and their outfits and conversations and why the bus just beeped it's horn out in the street or the rail that just went over...

Does this help with the difference?

And yes, it takes time to become better and better at it and I daresay few fully succeed (we're all human). But I've found it enriches my life. Besides, scientists have declared that multi-tasking is harmful to the brain.
( I really can't believe that since it performs thousands of transactions a second...but it might be harmful to our psyche and conscious minds!) I know that being mindful is less stressful than multi-tasking, for me anyway.

Be well.

[*Laurie*]

I've been practicing mindfulness for35 years. It is a constant practice. It does become habitual after some time....automatic.

[Row Jimmy]

For me, it is a constant challenge. I need to continue to remind myself to be stay in the moment. It helps because a big problem for me is anger and how my actions affect others in my family.