[Hippomania]

I am new here and am inquiring if anyone knows anything about Schizoid Personality Disorder. I was involved for many years with an individual who seemed to have no interest in me as a person, didn't know how old I was, didn't know when my birthday was, didn't care anything about my background, etc. I kept blaming it on myself, but I am wondering if he could have been Schizoid? I could never figure out how someone could be so disinterested. Thank you in advance for any insights.

[SeptemberMorn]

On your screen under the picture is the site map. The third over from the left is "disorders." You could look under these resorces and get some idea of what you're talking about.





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[PlanningtoLive]

Hi Hippo, welcome to the boards. Sept. is right about where to find the info you are looking for, and I hope you decide to stay for awhile.

We're a good group of caring people.

Mary Alice

[Hippomania]

Thank you for the replies. I have already read the information on Schizoid Personality Disorder. It is so limited, and I was wondering if anyone had any experience dealing with such an individual. I kept thinking it was me. I have never met anyone who just wanted to work all the time and had no interest in people. He couldn't even spell my name correctly after many years together.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Schizoid Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family;

almost always chooses solitary activities;

has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person;

takes pleasure in few, if any, activities;

lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives;

appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others;

shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity.

IT's best though for him to go to a doctor and see what him/her thinks, there could be other possibility's as well.

Welcome to the boards!!

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[Hippomania]

Thank you for the welcome. The person in my life would NEVER see a doctor, HE DOESN'T CARE. He thinks he is fine as he is. I have been involved with both a Narcissist and a Schizoid, and one of the problems seems to be that the INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF feels okay, it's just that much suffering is caused to the people around him. So I guess it's my problem to pick up the pieces.

[Starbuck]

Hello Hippo, nice to meet you

Well, are you that sure your boyfriend is necessarly schizoid because he does not knows the details of your life ? (No offense meant...)

To me, it sounds like a plain and egocentric male personality, aww...

Don't you think ?

Starbuck

Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad. Majors in History and Theology. Masters in Sociology.

[Hippomania]

Well, you could be right, but he sure fits the diagnostic criteria. Very much like Mr.Spock from Star Trek, minus the ears. Never raised his voice, never showed much enthusiasm for things, just wanted to be alone with his books, poor communication skills, few friends, no interests outside of work. Not interested in anything recreational, just kept wanting to get back to work. I've never seen anyone so introverted in my life. Like pulling teeth to get any emotion out of him.

[Starbuck]

Hey Hippo,

Well, Spock had, in a way, a sense of humor. And nevertheless, he cared about others, think how many times he saved from certain death Kirk and McCoy...

Sincerely,

Starbuck



Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad. Majors in History and Theology. Masters in Sociology.

[dexter]

Yea but Spock was only half vulcan don't forget.

I have no idea what my point is.

anyway i hope you can get some answers to this hippo but mostly i hope at some point you are able to get some peace and put this behind you. even if the relationship was bad it is still a loss and a big change in your life so it is not at all unreasonable that you feel this way. I would worry if you held onto it for too long when you know you weren't satisfied with the relationship, or if you keep getting into similar problem relationships over and over.

good luck

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[Hippomania]

Again, you could be right. I am sure everyone is human to some extent. It's still very painful and difficult to be in a relationship with someone who gives nothing of himself. I knocked myself out for a long time for nothing. I have a long road of healing ahead.

[Starbuck]

Hippo, Why did you say : "I have a long road of healing again" ? As from what I've heard, maybe HE could need a bit of healing.

How long this relationship lasted up to now ?

Sincerely,

Starbuck



Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad. Majors in History and Theology. Masters in Sociology.

[Hippomania]

Hello, Starbuck. Thank you for taking so much time to reply to me. The relationship is OVER. It lasted 16 years. HE doesn't care and will never change. I believe that *I* am co-dependent and I think I have an addictive personality. I put a ton of energy into that relationship. I think he liked my enthusiasm, since he appears to have none. I feel worn out, defeated and bewildered.

[SeptemberMorn]

Hippomania, I understand how you feel. I was married to a man for 12 yrs that I couldn't make him happy no matter what I did. He also accused me of having said and done things that I know I didn't. I came out of that relationship thinking I was crazy and totally worthless.

For a while, it seems important to find out who was wrong and why. I'm convinced that the man I was married to is schitzophrenic and what he thought he heard me say, were really the voices in his head. Of course, there's a lot more to the story including the fact that our daughter inherited his mental illness. She hasn't spoken to me in about 7 years.

Yes, you definitely have a long road of healing ahead. Some of it will be spent trying to figure this man out and trying to figure out why you spent so much time and effort on him. Ultimately, you will have to let go of his "whys" and concentrate on you; being good to yourself, giving yourself everything you missed while you were with him, re-establishing your own self-esteem and sense of self-worth and possibly dealing with your own issues that existed before you joined him. It can be done. I'm here to prove it, although, like you said, it's been a long road.

You've come to a very good place to receive support, caring and understanding. Welcome to our family.






<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Hippomania]

Thank you so much. I am wondering if anyone could recommend a good book? I already have "Co-Dependent No More," I am wondering if anyone else has any book ideas. Trying to get along with the difficult person is no longer an issue, I just need to focus on why I was interested in someone who was so unloving and uninvolved. Thanks to everyone who has given me such a warm welcome.

[Starbuck]

I think you took the right decision.

Between a wall and a person's wall, I prefer the wall.

Sincerely,

Starbuck

Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad. Majors in History and Theology. Masters in Sociology.