[weirdologie]

I meet most of the criteria for Histrionic PD, but in thought only. I'm convinced that my body dismorphic disorder diagnosis is preventing me from acting out on these thoughts.

For example, I would love to be the center of attention and I feel like I would also be very promiscuous if I wasn't so ugly. I meet a few other of the criteria in thought, but I'm aware that nobody would put up with that because of the way I look. I feel like because I'm not attractive, I basically have to have a perfect personality, which is often not my actual personality. If I was prettier, I would be able to act on these thoughts because I wouldn't have to overcompensate with a fake, socially-acceptable personality.

Is this even possible? To meet the criteria for a personality disorder in thought, but not in action? Or am I just a really, really weird person?

[Mygrandjourney]

Some personality disorders resolve themselves when the underlying MH issues are effectively treated.

[weirdologie]

Well, of course. I'm just wondering if I can exhibit signs of a personality disorder internally and not act out on them.

[Perna]

I don't think what you are describing is possible because disorders are based on symptom behaviors; someone else/a psychiatrist has to be able to notice them in order to diagnose you. Histrionic is how someone acts so wishing you looked good enough to act that way, doesn't work? :-) "Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality" (from: Histrionic Personality Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central)

It does sound like it is all your thinking about your body, that it is ugly, the BDD, and your choosing to act in socially acceptable ways based on what you think others think, that society would "agree" with your perception of yourself, that is the crux of your problem, not the other way around. You are probably neither ugly nor does society care what you do, whether you try to become the center of attention, etc. or not (it is not paying attention to your feeling you act in socially acceptable ways, that's your choice). But either end, whether you act out of your BDD or out of HPD, one is not better than the other, it is just the unconscious symptoms you have chosen to help you meet your needs the best you can. I hope you are in therapy to work on these things, find better ways to meet your needs?

[weirdologie]

Originally Posted by Perna

I don't think what you are describing is possible because disorders are based on symptom behaviors; someone else/a psychiatrist has to be able to notice them in order to diagnose you. Histrionic is how someone acts so wishing you looked good enough to act that way, doesn't work? :-) "Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality" (from: Histrionic Personality Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central)

It does sound like it is all your thinking about your body, that it is ugly, the BDD, and your choosing to act in socially acceptable ways based on what you think others think, that society would "agree" with your perception of yourself, that is the crux of your problem, not the other way around. You are probably neither ugly nor does society care what you do, whether you try to become the center of attention, etc. or not (it is not paying attention to your feeling you act in socially acceptable ways, that's your choice). But either end, whether you act out of your BDD or out of HPD, one is not better than the other, it is just the unconscious symptoms you have chosen to help you meet your needs the best you can. I hope you are in therapy to work on these things, find better ways to meet your needs?

I am in therapy, nowhere close to making a dent in my problems though. Still as depressed and angry as ever.

I know no mental disorder is "better" than others, I just read the criteria for HPD and went, "Yup, that's who I'd be if I could get away with it." Nobody's going to deal with an ugly girl acting like an ***. I couldn't pull it off. My offline personality is a front. It's not real. HPD criteria matches and it is a personality disorder, so I was just wondering if it was possible.

I've been called ugly my whole life by various people in various situations, so I'm pretty sure I am ugly. Just trust me on this. I'm as sure of it as the sky is blue. However, my ugliness is at the forefront of my thoughts 24/7, hence my diagnosis.

It's probably a good thing. I'd be a complete nightmare to people if I was even remotely attractive. I would be an awfully manipulative person. BDD keeps me in-check, so to speak.