[Irealltdonotcare]

When I am sitting at a desk in a lesson and I begin to feel slightly uncomfortable/anxious, I imagine myself throwing up all over the desk. I don't really feel sick at the time, and I haven't ever done that in real life. But it just keeps popping back in my head. I can't think of anything else until I begin to feel more comfortable for whatever reason.

Does anyone know why I have these thoughts? And maybe how to prevent them?

[BeaFlower]

It could be an obsessive thought caused by anxiety. Unfortunately I don't know how to avoid obsessions; probably the best thing is to try not to be upset by it. Does it stress you to have this thought?

[Irealltdonotcare]

Originally Posted by BeaFlower

Does it stress you to have this thought?

I suppose it does, because that is all I can think about at that moment, and I feel like I really have to concentrate on not throwing up even though I am pretty certain that I'm not going to... So yeah I suppose it does become quite stressful.

[Marla500]

I wonder if it is a way to reassure yourself that if you needed to, you could do something that would keep other people from getting too close? Maybe you are feeling a little claustrophobic or like it would be just too much to interact with the other people in the class.

[BeaFlower]

Try not to worry...when you have an obsession, it doesn't mean that you are really going to do that thing...actually, usually obseessions are about things that you would never do. But I understand that it's stressful however If you often have anxiety at school, could you talk about it to a psychologist? Maybe it could help also with that obsessive thought, if it's related to anxiety.

[Irealltdonotcare]

Do you reckon there's a chance this could be OCD? Like an intrusive thought? I've been looking it up recently and feel a number of things fit me...

[Perna]

I would treat them like a dream/daydream and bring my thoughts back to the lesson and paying attention. If you have a therapist, I would mention them and work on them in therapy. I remember in group therapy I kept thinking to do a somersault from my sitting position off the couch I still don't know where that came from, 40 years later but imagine I felt unseen or like I couldn't make things happen, was doing a "look at me!" to myself, trying to get my own attention. I did figure out a 20+ year persistent thought, "Guess what we did in French today?" (we never "did" anything :-) as wanting a "normal" conversation/interaction with my stepmother and not being able to figure out how to initiate it. When I worked many years on my relationship with my stepmother in therapy, the thought went away.

The thought/feeling is a symptom of something else, a message of some sort to you, not about throwing up probably but about fear or disgust or anxiety or, if it is only in one subject, maybe something about that subject or the teacher, etc. I learned in therapy to just leave the symptoms alone and work on finding the core issues; you can chase symptoms forever -- getting rid of one addiction, you'll probably pick up another unless you work on why you are getting addicted in the first place, what it is doing for you. I think symptoms are like that, as are dreams; they are just shorthand messages and my difficult ones go away if I acknowledge them and then work on finding the actual problem.

[Irealltdonotcare]

Okay, I sort of understand... Although it's changed slightly from when I first posted this, and I get this thought anywhere, not just in the classroom, and this happens almost at least once a day

if it is only in one subject, maybe something about that subject or the teacher, etc.

So I have even less of an idea as to why this is happening

[Perna]

When it happens, immediately stop everything and look at what is happening, what you feel, what you are thinking or have been reading, who you are talking to or who is talking to you, etc.

How do you feel about throwing up? Have you always felt that way? What experiences have you had throwing up? I always hated throwing up and was really anxious before I started college what would happen if I had to throw up there and my mother wasn't there with the cold washcloth for my head, etc.? Of course the real experience was not like my imagined one and I did fine. But why did your unconscious pick throwing up? Does it make you less uncomfortable/anxious after you think this? I know when my husband would go out of town on business trips overnight/for a week, I would imagine bad guys breaking into the house each night so I'd have to stay awake until 3:30-4:00 when, apparently according to my unconscious, bad guys go home themselves and it would be safe to go to sleep (either take vacation time ahead of time and not go to work or lie about being "sick", etc.) or I'd spend the night at someone else's house, etc.

Obviously the chances of there being robbers, rapists, and murderers then was not any greater than other nights and, for me, it was a pretty far-fetched thing to obsess about but it did keep me from thinking of my husband being away and my being on my own, alone? It was a diversionary thought to have me obsess about something that was not likely to happen (so I was safe, just as one is safe on a roller coaster or watching a horror movie) whereas I actually did not feel safe on my own? Maybe your unconscious knows you are not going to throw up and is distracting you with that thought and managing your anxiety that way.

I finally got disgusted with being in my 40's and afraid to be on my own at night (I had lived in an apartment by myself in Washington, D.C. for 13 years before I met my husband) and I felt ashamed to have to either skip work or spend the night with someone else so I confronted the situation and came up with a "fix" that worked for me. My husband usually came to bed after I went to bed and would be in the living room watching TV or our office/porch on his computer and lights would be on. So, I kept the proper lights on at night, that didn't bother me and since the computer is quiet and far away and he'd keep the TV sound down so I could not hear it, I could just as easily pretend he was out watching TV/on his computer as that robbers were going to break in?

If I were you, I'd carry around a cheap Ziploc/Glad/Rubbermaid storage container, pack your lunch in it (each item in a plastic bag) and small roll of paper towels and call the throw up's bluff. In any event, take some action/control that acknowledges the "message" and then look for what might be causing it, where the discomfort or anxiety is coming from. Taking your unconscious seriously will get it off your case, that's all it wants, is to be "heard".

[BeaFlower]

I do think that it could be an obsessive thought, though I don't want to 'diagnose' you. You also said that other characteristics of OCD fit you, if I understood well. But the only way to know is to talk to a therapist.
I think that the idea of Perna to try to analize the situation and your feelings when it happens is very good.