I was seeing a therapist from January until May at which time he ended the sessions. He was working with one organization which offered 12 sessions and I was going once a week for an hour. He had received an extension for me so I did have some more sessions. However, he switched to private practice. He said that I no longer needed counselling because of all the progress I had made and that he felt confident that I was equipped with the strategies that I needed to be successful. So then why do I still feel messed up??? I do agree that I have made great progress! I have been able to deal with some of the issues from my past, grown my self esteem and I am a fairly confident person for the most part, my anxiety has alleviated quite a bit, and I'm no longer suicidal and I'm better able to cope with situations. But I still feel like I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over! Primarily in my love relationships, but also with friendships. I find myself becoming desperate and clingy, wanting to spend all my free time when I'm not working or with my kids (single mom) with someone that I'm dating and it becomes an issue. I expect the man I'm exclusively dating to want to spend as much time with me as I do with him. Even though he still has two thirds of his time to himself since my kids are only with their dad every second or third day, it continues to be an issue. I rush relationships. I attract Future Fakers and unhealthy relationships. So if I know all the strategies and if I've progressed as a person than why do I keep making the same mistakes and look to the person in dating for validation? At the same time, I self sabotage and ruin good relationships when they come subcontiously. I don't even realize what I'm doing until it's too late. So how can I use the strategies when I don't even realize what I'm doing? It's one thing to know the strategies. It's another to be able to identify the issue and apply it

[nicoleflynn]

The client is the one who is supposed to quit therapy, NOT the therapist.

You have insight into what you are doing wrong, so take some time before making decisions, so that you begin to change your behavior that is destructive. Can't you still see him? Tell him what you said here...as I said, it is the client who decides when to leave, NOT the therapist.

[eskielover]

It might cost more now that he's in private practice....but you might be able to talk him into seeing you on an as needed basis....starting with maybe once a month. That way you still have someone to talk things over with about issues that you are struggling with.

It's true that just because we learn skills, they don't do us any good unless we can put them into practice....which is why DBT is set up to be a 2 year group therapy. I love it where I am because we have a follow on group that we can go to when we need or want called "next step" so that we can talk about our issues on top of having our private Psychologist.....I actually only see her now about once a month & this summer it will be 2 months between appointments...but it's wonderful to have my psychologist to talk over issues that I don't want to dump on friends or weigh down their lives with.

We need a functional social network that we can practice what we learned also....but learning takes practice & corrections which takes running it by someone who knows what you are talking about.

He did still give me his cell phone number can I can still keep in contact if needed. I just can't afford anything at this moment. My ex hasn't been paying child support but hopefully that will all change in the next month or two and I'll be able to resume treatment.

What is DBT? I'm not familiar with all the abbreviations on here just yet. My friends are great and I appreciate their advice but like you said I don't always want to weigh them down with my issues... And even though they have the best intentions sometimes friends only tell you want they think you want to hear to make you feel better. That's what friends are for and I love them for it. But sometimes you need someone who can call you on your crap hehe

Originally Posted by eskielover

It might cost more now that he's in private practice....but you might be able to talk him into seeing you on an as needed basis....starting with maybe once a month. That way you still have someone to talk things over with about issues that you are struggling with.

It's true that just because we learn skills, they don't do us any good unless we can put them into practice....which is why DBT is set up to be a 2 year group therapy. I love it where I am because we have a follow on group that we can go to when we need or want called "next step" so that we can talk about our issues on top of having our private Psychologist.....I actually only see her now about once a month & this summer it will be 2 months between appointments...but it's wonderful to have my psychologist to talk over issues that I don't want to dump on friends or weigh down their lives with.

We need a functional social network that we can practice what we learned also....but learning takes practice & corrections which takes running it by someone who knows what you are talking about.

[*Laurie*]

The therapy situation infuriates me. Who but someone wealthy can afford therapy? It's no wonder that the traditional stereotype of the therapy patient is a 'normal neurotic'. Most of us who live with mental illness cannot function well enough to afford therapy the way it should be provided: a therapist the patient chooses and years of therapy 1 to 2 times per week.

nicoleflynn is correct. Your therapist was negligent in dismissing you from therapy for his purposes. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't continue to see him, even if I could afford to do so.

Congratulations on the work you've done thus far! Now, let's hope you can find a new and better therapy situation.

I usually do take time to think before making decisions. However, I'm finding that I can be my worst enemy. For instance, the last guy I was seeing I got upset because I felt we weren't spending enough time together. I was able to think through it a bit and thought even a little bit of time together is better than nothing. Then it evolved into "well if he were actually interested in me he would want to spend as much time with me as I do him. Especially since he says he would see me every day if he could and is talking about a future together". And then I lose control of it.

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

The client is the one who is supposed to quit therapy, NOT the therapist.

You have insight into what you are doing wrong, so take some time before making decisions, so that you begin to change your behavior that is destructive. Can't you still see him? Tell him what you said here...as I said, it is the client who decides when to leave, NOT the therapist.

[eskielover]

What is DBT?

DBT is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It teaches skills & gives practice on those skills for emotional regulation, mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, & Distress Tolerance. I have come to realize that it's all the skills that normal functional parents are capable of teaching their children....however there are so many dysfunctional parents or parents who have been brought up by dysfunctional parents who weren't able to teach them these skills. IMO, it should be a high school class for all seniors because these skills are what EVERY person needs to know to become more functional in this world & to deal with ALL kinds of stressful situations. Here in the area of the US I live in, it's the community mental health center that offers the 2 year DBT group then offers for those who made it through that, the DBT Next Step group where we come once a week to continually validate & check out how we are doing with the DBT skills.

[Nammu]

Some therapists are only comfortable doing short term therapy. Maybe it would be helpful to interview other Ts and ask specifically if they do long term therapy.

That's amazing! I agree that it should be a high school course! Could be beneficial to so many People. I'll have to check that out. Thanks!

Originally Posted by eskielover

DBT is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It teaches skills & gives practice on those skills for emotional regulation, mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, & Distress Tolerance. I have come to realize that it's all the skills that normal functional parents are capable of teaching their children....however there are so many dysfunctional parents or parents who have been brought up by dysfunctional parents who weren't able to teach them these skills. IMO, it should be a high school class for all seniors because these skills are what EVERY person needs to know to become more functional in this world & to deal with ALL kinds of stressful situations. Here in the area of the US I live in, it's the community mental health center that offers the 2 year DBT group then offers for those who made it through that, the DBT Next Step group where we come once a week to continually validate & check out how we are doing with the DBT skills.