I'm really not sure where to put this thread. "Other" sounds good to me. I'm distressed. I think I have PMS. Which is good to know. Because around that time, I get really irritable and emotional. So it's good to have a label for it I think.

I've been pretty up and down so far this week. I got back from a vacation with family on Saturday. Vacation was great. Then I get home, and life feels overwhelming and depressing again. I was involved with a guy, but it didn't work out after the first date, lol. and I was saying mean things to him via text because I was angry with him for being immature. Which made him say mean things to me. I know I have a choice, in saying mean things or not. But hindsight is 20 /20 vision for sure. When I was upset, it felt like a good idea to say mean things. But really, it was a bad idea.

I'm very frustrated with my life. i don't even know why. Maybe I'm lonely. I don't think I get out enough. I'm a highly sensitive person with a little social anxiety, and a lot of depression. I worry a lot too. I am volunteering, and trying to do a lot, actually. Find a job, an apartment, go to school in the fall....the volunteering I just started. It's overwhelming to think about. And I'm going to do it this week, but if I feel this way friday, I will find something else like the library.

And with all this, I'm still unhappy. Sometimes I think I need more friends. I don't really have any outside of like, texting here and there, and online. When I do talk to people, I feel better. A lot better. I also wonder if I need a different therapist. I am looking around for a therapist, so that's good. I have one now, but I don't think anything really gets accomplished.

Thanks for listening / reading, if you got this far. I appreciate and welcome supportive comments. Though, I am feeling a teensy bit better after writing this out.

[Blue Swan]

Hi, PMSing, I get it girl! For years it ruled my life, and in some ways it still does, but I'm starting to out-age it. That's probably not comforting now, but it does ease up with age. Meanwhile, having the self-awareness that you do have about your thoughts and actions is positive and great, so good for you! I completely empathize with feeling irritable, emotional, and saying "mean" things, and like you, being able to label it PMS has also helped me to "order" it within myself. Ya know, knowledge is power and PMS is a very real and daunting thing. Over the years I have tried various herbal remedies for pms and women's hormonal health issues and some have worked great to support me. If you can make it to a health food store like Whole Foods or the equivalent, you'll find a PMS blend of herbs in either capsules, tinctures etc. These can help a lot, but if you also have a mental health issue like me, I'm spectrum bp, herbal remedies have only gone so far; it's my meds that have made the real difference. I'm definitely a proponent of holistic healthcare in conjunction with traditional western methods of treatment and medication. Maybe check this out. Also, Acupuncture and Chinese herbs are super effective if you can afford it.
It sounds to me that you may be putting too much on your plate right now too; maybe just focus on school in the fall and getting settled for that, which is huge enough. If a job is necessary then focus on that and let the volunteering go for now. I know for me that overloading just adds emotional pressure and sets off my irritability and stuff. You are super bright and you want to do a lot and you will, but balancing yourself emotionally i feel is the foundation for all you want to accomplish. Can you pull back a little bit? You said it's overwhelming, which is enough to make anyone unhappy. While you're looking for a therapist, maybe a group therapy would be beneficial. Also, when you start school in the fall, look into their psych services. They may have peer therapy groups as well private therapy. Most colleges and universities do. One last thought, writing has always been therapeutic for me; I keep a journal and write poems and such, and it doesn't matter if they're good or not. Look in your community for creative writing workshops targeting emotional healing, or just keep a diary and postings here

Hi Blue Swan, I think you are right. I'm doing too much. I'd like to narrow my focus. Maybe I can focus on moving. and healing, too. I appreciate your response a lot. Thanks. -Starrysky