[Indigorolling]

Im new to this site so i chose so im not sure if this is the right place to post but here i go. Im 18 just graduated and i can say the last 2 years have been hell for me. I just dont know what happened all my life i was always known for being hilarious outgoing and full of charisma and i was loving life i had friends and i felt like i can talk to just about anyone. i was a master of tongues it wasnt. in 10th grade i met a girl who i dated for a long time who got me into the habit of smoking marijuana. We would smoke it everyday and it was always pretty cool i guess i cant remember that far back but i dont remember not liking it we would have sex unprotected and she just seemed like the one at the time. Mind you i was young and naive as time progressed i realized she was just playing for other guys which i can say hurt alot i continued my smoking habits it was like a everyday thing nd now when i smoke i know im high but i dont enjoy it i barely laugh i barely laugh sober i dont even care for sex anymore if i have it then thats cool. Talkin to new people or people i dont talk to on a regular seems staged or doesnt feel authentic often times i feel like im trying to hard. When i talk its like my vocab has been cut in half i dont even speak the same. I feel like its not me. when im at parties or out with friends im over conscious and aware of everything it just doesnt feel right. i dont feel comfortable in my own skin... i fap pretty regularly but i just dont feel like life is getting any better. Can someone please shed light on this.

[CANDC]

Hi Indigorolling. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you have so much pain that you want to self medicate. It is a natural impulse to want to lessen pain, but there are other ways beside self medicating. https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...foWtyuQK_GdSbA

Do you have a psychiatric doctor that you could explain your situation to? With the psych doc, there could be ways to get a more balance medication combo that treats your symptoms and helps you wean yourself off self medicating. Check with your psych doc which self medicating drugs might react with the prescribed meds from the pdoc.

Glad you are joining us here. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[healingme4me]

Hi indigorolling,

Welcome to PC!

Hope you find this community as warm and supportive, as I have.

If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to ask any of the Community Liasons for help and gentle board guidance.