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#1
May 18, 2007, 03:58 PM
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First off I'm new here..so hello to everyone
 I need some help answering some questions about my brother in law, and I'm hoping somebody can help me!! When his mother was pregnant with him her water broke and they still let her walk around. Well I guess when he was born the cord was wrapped around his neck so tightly that he had suffered brain damage and he was supposed to be right handed and it turned him left handed. Ok this all happend almost 40 years ago, so I'm not for sure if thats even possible. Anyways his mother has said even when he was young he was incordiable and just from the time he started talking, he was lying. His lying and stealing has been a problem since well forever. I mean he lies about everything! The women he married this last time he told her he had a house in Arizona and that he knew Brad Pitt and just all this CRAZY stuff and she believed him. She owne her own business and he ran that comletely into the ground. He told her he has connections to the mob and just outrageous stuff. Eventually he got him and his new wife in so much debt they had to file bankruptcy and lost everything. But a few months later he got a mortgage for a million dollar home and 2 brand new cars in his name. Even though he has no job. He has done this 3 different times now with 2 different women and I'm thinking he has some kind of mental illness. I'm certain there's some kind of brain damage that has happened to make him act this way. Any advice on this would be much appreciated!!!! |
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#2
May 18, 2007, 05:22 PM
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It's tough to decipher why some ppl act the way they do. Has he had any testing done to see what his problem is? It could just be that they treated him differently (or even discounted him) when he was young so the behavior was learned as a coping mechanism.
What involvement you have with the BIL and why you need answers to these questions might be good to know here. What kind of help are you looking for? TC
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#3
May 18, 2007, 05:31 PM
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good question sky. and how would a cord make him left handed? just really curious. my brother acts like that too but he didn't have a cord around his neck at birth. I thought you might know my brother there for a minute.
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#4
May 18, 2007, 05:43 PM
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Well, I'm not discrediting what you say could be the cause for your BIL's actions..... it's just when my oldest son was born he had the cord wrapped around his neck three times-- (the doctors said)-- he was totally purple when he was first born and had to be given oxygen-- it was a very scary time. (the doctors were very concerned about his well being) He's in college now and is honest and very driven in "playing by the rules"-- high moral standards.... he gets straight A's but does have some issues with self-injury and high expectations of himself and is very very neat and orderly.
So I don't know if the cord thing has anything to do with your BIL's actions... but who knows??? just thought I'd share my experience so you could maybe compare..... Oh yea, and WELCOME!! mandy |
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#5
May 18, 2007, 06:36 PM
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No I dont think it was used as a coping mechanism for him, as it started from when he was very very young and he didn't learn about what happened til later. I'm just very curious to know if there is something maybe wrong with him. Im very close to his wife and shes about to leave him unless it's some kind of medical problem that he may be able to go get help for. They dont have insurance so testing is kind of out of the question. So I'm just looking for ideas on what might be the deal with him, I just don't think something is clicking in his brain right..ya know?
Bee and Mandy yeah I mean the cord wrapped around his neck thing...is just what his Mother blames it on, because at the time the doctors said it woudl cause him problems later in life. Especially if he ever got involved with drugs or alcohol, which he has done. |
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#6
May 18, 2007, 06:38 PM
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he USED to do drugs and alcohol....not anymore...well maybe alcohol.
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#7
May 18, 2007, 07:00 PM
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had cord wrapped around my neck at birth, am right handed, my dx is due to , bizzare child abuse, chemical imbalance in brain, cord has nothing to do with mental illness that we know of
Welcome and good luck
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 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#8
May 18, 2007, 07:19 PM
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I can tell you this....the booze and drugs are his problem. even if he isn't doing them at the moment. I would suggest having him see a dr. a medical dr to rule out the cord. but how would anyone know if he was "suppose to be right handed"? that has me very puzzled.
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#9
May 18, 2007, 07:32 PM
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I'm left-handed and can answer that question :-) Yes, trauma during pregnancy and/or birth can be one of the causes of left-handedness (but that's not a bad thing!) The Left-Hander Syndrome http://www.amazon.com/Left-Hander-Sy.../dp/0679744681 is a really good book, explains a lot, was written by a well-known science writer.
That your brother-in-law has always been "incorrigible" -- I don't know how he was brought up/corrected by his parents or in school and may have learned such behavior. I don't know that its particularly a mental illness, people make selfish and/or stupid choices everyday. It sounds like he has plenty of enablers to me and I don't see why he would "stop" and do anything differently?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#10
May 18, 2007, 08:27 PM
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there are a bunch of lefties in my family.
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#11
May 20, 2007, 04:20 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ashley23 said: No I dont think it was used as a coping mechanism for him, as it started from when he was very very young and he didn't learn about what happened til later. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> That is how most coping mechanisms develop - you don't know how or why you just do them... </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> ashley23 said: ]I'm just very curious to know if there is something maybe wrong with him. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I think it is safe to say something is going on and professional assessment would be the next step... </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> ashley23 said:Im very close to his wife </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm not sure this explains how you fit into the picture. I'm glad someone is concerned... </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> ashley23 said: and shes about to leave him unless it's some kind of medical problem that he may be able to go get help for. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Is this something she is telling you or your brother in law is telling you this. I'm still confused... </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> ashley23 said:They dont have insurance so testing is kind of out of the question. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This is the answer so it can't be out of the question - Assuming your brother-in-law wants help - find him some or pay for some. I don't want to sound harsh...and I'm sorry if I have been.
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