[ACRNM]

For the last few months, I have been struggling to find balance in my life. I feel as though I am in a transitional phase and I’m not quite sure what direction I am going. At 25, I am at a point in my life where I am finally understanding who I am and what I want. I have become much more critical of myself, the decisions I make, and my life/career goals. This has allowed me to identify my weaknesses, focus on how to improve myself and be more comfortable with the person I am. While I am enjoying the process of growing as a person and pursuing my life goals, it is leaving me with very little time to dedicate to others.

I have always had an introverted personality, but it has really become more prevalent in this recent phase of my life. I do enjoy spending time with friends and family, but I am finding more and more value in my time alone. Sometimes I can go two to three weeks without socializing and not feel as though I missed out on anything. This is often frustrating for my friends because they want to spend time with me, and regularly invite me to go out and do things with them, but I often turn them down in favor of spending time at home doing things that I know would be more beneficial to me.

I feel guilty for neglecting them, but I also know that I don’t desire to go out every other day. This is especially true during the week when I have the least amount of time to myself. I am at work for the better part of the day and only have a few hours to unwind and relax when I get home. The idea of going to a bar or doing some other local activity feels exhausting to me. It’s frustrating for me because I know it often comes off like I don’t care to be around them. They are all very special to me, and I value their friendship, but I need that time to myself to re-energize before I feel comfortable dedicating my attention to others.

I have put a lot of time into laying out my personal and professional goals for the next few months, but I know that by pursuing those goals it will leave me with very little time to spend with my friends. My main concern is that I am going to shut myself out from everyone in favor of focusing on me. In the same instance, I don’t want to fall behind in my personal goals because I was too focused on making others happy. I don’t know what the balance is, or if there even is a balance. Am I self-centered for putting this much focus on me, or am I just being realistic about the sacrifices necessary to accomplish my goals? Have any of you dealt with situations similar to this?

[avlady]

you have to please yourself first, because if you are not happy, the people you're with won't be either. i get that way, or i used to, when i was working, i just needed time to myself. probably more than most people need because i'm schitzophrenic, i think people with this disorder do need alot of time for themselves. i hope you do what you need to do to be happy.