[Arwen_78]

OK, I know someone who at this point in their life has seemed to have gone off the deep end. I'm not close enough to them to be able to offer up that I think they need to see someone for mental health issues. I know someone who is directly effected by their actions. It hurts for me to have to watch the person I know more deal with the other person. It really suck as the image the person who has gone overboard is painting for themselves just pushes everyone away.

They drink a lot then do the drunk calling or stupid things you do when drunk. After hearing of silly thinks they have done over the past few years I think they have a mental health problem that has un-managed for their whole life after the are quite abit older. I feel sad that they see mental health as sooo taboo and wouldn't even think of getting help but at the sametime this is something I can't help them with unless they want it for themselves.

Has anyone else seen this or felt it?

[*Laurie*]

Oh my, yes. And what a frustrating and powerless feeling it is to witness someone's self-destructive demise. I've found that 'saying something' usually backfires. A very difficult position, indeed.

[Fuzzybear]

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Arwen_78

OK, I know someone who at this point in their life has seemed to have gone off the deep end. I'm not close enough to them to be able to offer up that I think they need to see someone for mental health issues. I know someone who is directly effected by their actions. It hurts for me to have to watch the person I know more deal with the other person. It really suck as the image the person who has gone overboard is painting for themselves just pushes everyone away.

They drink a lot then do the drunk calling or stupid things you do when drunk. After hearing of silly thinks they have done over the past few years I think they have a mental health problem that has un-managed for their whole life after the are quite abit older. I feel sad that they see mental health as sooo taboo and wouldn't even think of getting help but at the sametime this is something I can't help them with unless they want it for themselves.

Has anyone else seen this or felt it?

yea been there. unfortunatley or fortunately depending upon ones point of view here in american even those with mental disorders and addictions have rights to make their own decisions unless they are a danger to one self and others.

that means when one encounters someone they care about has an alcohol or drug or mental problem all others can do is make a suggestion that they seek help. doesnt mean they are going to, they can still decide not to.

but those in this situation can get help for their selves in learning how to deal with this situation and take care of their selves during this. many mental health agencies have treatment providers who work with children of alcoholics, friends and family of alcoholics, there is also a branch of AA (alcoholics Anonymous ) called Alonon and Alateen for friends family and children affected by someone who has a drinking problem. they teach you to let the alcoholic take care of their self and focus on your own self care and own emotions..

example at one alanon meeting they were discussing how totalke care of one self if someone is drunk calling.... when they are sober tell them that if they drunk call again you will hang up and they can call me back when they are sober if they still want to tell me what they were drunk calling about. Then stick to it and follow through with this when they do their drunk calling by answering the phone, listen closely for symptoms of being drunk (slurred voice, rambling making no sense what ever their drunk symptoms are) then tell them Im sorry but my rule is that if you call me while drunk I hang up. please call me when you are sober and I will gladly listen and talk about what ever it was that you wanted to tell me tonight. I have to go now, good night. then hang up the phone. if they call back that night do not answer the phone.

I have had to do this on a very close friend. at first they were very angry but soon they understood I would not be enabling their drunk calling by rewarding them with staying on the phone while they were drunk. Soon the drunk calling stopped, our friendship is still intact and because I and her family followed through with Alanon and alateen program ways she realized she had a drinking problem and got the help she needed.