[Nicoleresati]

This is something from my "thoughts" book, journal, that I struggle with often. This was written 2 days ago.
The reasons things are spaced out are because they were written a few minutes to 20 minutes apart.

"I'm losing my mind. I can't think of anything else. It's taken over everything I am. I can't even..function. All I can do is wallow. I need to stop. I need to forget everything. Please forget. I can't deal with this every 5 minutes. I need to stop I'd love to end it all, but can I ? I can't. It's impossible. No it's not Just shut up and calm down. It will pass, this will pass. I want to sleep..I'm ruining everything. I'm doing this to myself. Just calm down. I'm ****ed! Nicole, stop! I can't think right now."

It sounds completely stupid. I was laughing about what it was 10 minutes before. I thought it was hilarious, and then I went into that. And awhile later, this.

" I'm writing all of this, but is it real? Is any of this real? I mean it has to be. I can't feel, or I just don't know what I'm feeling."

"I like it, but I can't stop thinking. I'm unable to do anything else."

"This is real. I know it stop being stupid, Nicole."

"Stop confusing yourself and acting like an idiot. You're fine.. it's in your head. Sleep good tonight, and tomorrow will be fine."

"When I can't feel I wonder what I am feeling? I have no emotion, and I think I may be questioning reality, but I'm not sure I just can't feel..I'm confused. I have cold sweats.
What am I? A person. What is this? What is what exactly? This. I don't understand, I can't."

"I feel like maybe I woke up and am just in a fog..I can't really talk. I think maybe I have lost touch with reality, but if I had I wouldn't think that I did. My face feels fake, I feel fake, but I'm not. I'm just confused, and I don't really know."

[CANDC]

The scariest things I experience are only thoughts. for me going beyond the thoughts is a joy and a release. It does not mean we never think, but we deal with the thoughts. Then move on.

Here is how I move on when I am laying on the bed trying to go to sleep or during the day when the mind is racing.

Breathe naturally and silently count 1 on the inhale, 2 on the exhale, 3 on the inhale, 4 on the exhale...continuing up to 10. then start at 1 again.

The mind cannot worry as much when I am focusing on counting and breathing.

[Fuzzybear]