[elkig001]

Hi guys, I really need some help. I've no idea what the hell is bloody wrong with me.

On March the 1st I was spiked with a heavy dose of extasy. From March-August I suffered from anxiety, depersonalisation and derealisation. But now my symptoms have changed into something I'm struggling to describe.

I've been having strange, random thoughts and words popping into my head. Things like 'they're watching you' and 'you're of a higher power' and random **** like this. Sometimes its 'chicken nuggets' or 'citalopram'. I dont for one second think that they're true. I think this might be a good time to add that I don't hear voices or see things that aren't there. I've also started thinking (when I'm not pre-occupied) in full sentances?

I don't dwell on these thoughts and start to believe them (I cannot stress this enough!). I just worry as to why I've thought these things, what on earth is wrong with me. I normally read a symptom of schizophrenia then think 'what if i do that?'.

I've also started to play out conversations in my head, normally between me and my councillor or an old psyc (i currently am awaiting to be seen by a new one, my old one wasn't too great!). This has become a bit of an issue.

I've also been having episodes of energy, where I feel on top of the world, talking really fast. This has happened twice in the past week.

There's voices in my head, of people I know telling me things. For example, I'll have a 'what if' thought, and then I'll hear (in my head) my friend telling me to stop 'what iffing!'. I'm writing this post and i'm imagining peoples responses to it in my mind. It's like i can't bloody think straight!

I also have intrusive thoughts of my friends/family telling me they're gonna leave me because I'm crazy. Like today, I was speaking to my friend and speaking to her about some things that happened in the past. I imagined my other friend that was there telling me that she felt really left out and wasn't impressed.

I've also become disorganised (more than normal!) unmotivated, feeling like I simply cannot do anything. I also have music playing in my head 247. I've also developed dsylexia all of a sudden
I also have a burning sensation in my head, pins and needles (sometimes in my head which is very odd), head pressure, heart palpitations, burning in limbs,

There's other things too, but I feel so overwhelmed at the moment I suppose I'll remember those when they flare up again.

I am literally thinking about my condition all the time that its hard to even live.

Any help is really welcome. I'm at my wits end. I just want my life back.

<3

[elkig001]

Anyone? x

[AnxietyMaster]

I'm voting for mild schizophrenia spectrum disorder (maybe rapid cycling schizoaffective bipolar?). Psychoactive drugs can trigger schizophrenia in some people. Due to the nature of the intrusive thoughts, I would also put a vote in for mild-moderate obsessive compulsive disorder. I would not say ADD/ADHD because of your apathy, but instead you are disconnected and unmotivated because of said intrusive thoughts. If you get those under control, I think that you should get better in the motivation department. May I ask what a heavy dose of ecstasy is, and also what your history with psychiatric medication is?

Please understand that in schizophrenia you don't have to believe what you are hearing.

[*Laurie*]

Hi elkig001, It's impossible for me to diagnose what you've described, but I can offer a few thoughts. I've never had a substance use issue, but I can sure relate to a lot of the stuff you've described. To me, it sounds like you have an extreme anxiety problem going on, and depression. Quite possibly some OCD tendencies.

I hope you check back in.

[possum220]

It is important that you see a doctor to get things checked out and get the help in real life that you deserve.

[littleowl2006]

Hugs to you, elkig.

I hope you can see a doctor soon. Talk to us as long as you are waiting for the appointment, and don't let the fear take over. I am sure there is help for you and things will get better. Maybe try breathing exercises, you can find instructions on youtube.
I have no drug experience whatsoever, but I know that it is possible to have long term effects from ecstasy & co.