What Causes Perfectionism? | Happily Imperfect

I set rigid roles and high standards for myself.

[SoScorpio]

We "think" our worth is determined by our achievements? What else could it be based on?
Doesn't matter if you're smart, kind, pretty, etc. etc. if you don't do anything with it. Therefore our worth, as seen by others as well as ourselves, IS determined by our achievements.

Do I only believe this because I have OCPD? Maybe someone who doesn't can tell us how we're supposed to determine our worth.

Thank you, Soscorpio. That is how i measure my elf-esteem. By goals I have accomplished.

[ChipperMonkey]

Sadly I think this is a very American thing. You lose your ability to work and you do feel like you are nobody. Its one thing I hate about American society. The first thing anyone asks is "what do you do?" and when your answer is "nothing" you get to the point where you don't even want to socialize anymore. Worth shouldn't be based on what you do. Not all of us have the same abilities. Take it to extremes and you end up with Hitler-like society where the disabled are exterminated.

For example, right now, it is driving me crazy that I wrote "elf-esteem" instead of "self-esteem" in the post above.
lol

[avlady]

i think accomplishments are good. the thing is we have to use our talents and gifts we've been dealt and not waste them.

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

Sadly I think this is a very American thing. You lose your ability to work and you do feel like you are nobody. Its one thing I hate about American society. The first thing anyone asks is "what do you do?" and when your answer is "nothing" you get to the point where you don't even want to socialize anymore. Worth shouldn't be based on what you do. Not all of us have the same abilities. Take it to extremes and you end up with Hitler-like society where the disabled are exterminated.

More like a "global" thing, and I believe that the media is to blame. It was like that in my country, it is like that in Ireland, and I think it's no different elsewhere. People are conditioned to believe that what you accomplish is more important than who you are. People judge and measure one another's worth by their "trophies", and also by what they wear, what they drive, where they live, etc...

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

For example, right now, it is driving me crazy that I wrote "elf-esteem" instead of "self-esteem" in the post above.
lol

Hahah I'm like that too, often revisiting and sometimes editing posts to add a comma or bits of words I missed. I hate being so obsessed like that.

[Nike007]

I do believe I have OCPD also. I have really bad black and white thinking. I have high standards. If I don't get perfect, I get mad at myself. Even with a 98 or something. I hate doing groups not only because of social anxiety, but people doing things I don't like. I guess I do see self worth in marks. It's pretty bad. I have lots of opposites in me. I need to be perfect, but I don't want to do work as an example. I am DXed with OCD, but I also think I have OCPD. I am under 18 though so I can't be DXed with a personality disorder.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

I can't join groups. It is very hard for me to follow others. I always have to lead.

[SoScorpio]

When I say I think our worth is determined by "achievements", I don't necessarily mean material achievements. I guess I mean "actions".
Because you can be smart, and kind, and creative, and all these things... but if you don't put them to use, what are you worth? What's the point of being kind if you don't do kind things? What's the point of being smart if you never apply yourself to anything?
But maybe that's not what this article meant? I suppose we could all be taking it too literally.