Confused

I am not sure whether I should post this here. I'm not sure if I should post this at all. I don't feel like I could hold this within me anymore.

These two days I was informed of incidents around me that are horrible, done by someone I know and I thought I could respect. It happened a long time ago. I don't know how to describes the...There was real physical harm done. I am not hurt. I could not imagine the hurt the victims were going through. I cannot believe something like that would happen to people around me. If there is any reason of me being boring and awkward, it is to avoid trouble.
I was told that seeking legal support for the victims may only cause more harm. I don't understand. I was told there isn't much I could do. I paused therapy a while ago and could not reach my therapist. I don't feel there is anyone appropriate to talk to about this.
I cannot focus on my study and work. This in addition to my personal issues have been causing me a lot of stress. Why do I need to be told of this.
By the way I just saw cockroaches in the hallways. The world feels like it is going downhill.
Sorry if I rambled or caused any unhappiness.

Hi, i believe you are ging in the right direction by contacting your therapist tp help you cope. Keep trying intil you get through to her! Since this happened in the family and not to you directly, it looks like just talking through this will help you greatly.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I check in often.

Dawn Crimson, is there a way you can tell this to a T that you heard but you don't know how true it is... and then say it? In such a way that it would not cause any more trouble for what the victims went through? Just to have them help you dump this and get it out of your head. That is a start. (((hugs)))

Perhaps physically writing about what you were told, and how it has made you feel would be the right start. From there, let your emotions lead the way on your paper. When you get in to see your T, bring those papers with you and let her read them. Then, you can talk about it with someone "safe". And you won't have to worry about there being any repercussions.

Well without knowing the situation I couldn't say for sure... but it seems you should definitely tell someone. Start with your therapist, just for relief.

What you're talking about sounds similar to something I went through though...
When I was 14, my 17-year-old boyfriend...well he didn't respect my wishes about our physical relationship. He kinda forced himself on me, but stopped as soon as I said "stop"... though maybe just because we were on the roof of my house and my dad was inside. But whatever the reason, I wrote it off at the time. Not completely, I did break up with him. But I didn't report what happened, because I thought he was just full of teenage hormones and made a mistake.
A couple years later, his girlfriend at the time contacted me and told me he had tried to rape her, and with more force than he used on me. Her parents hadn't been home. She was too afraid to tell anyone, so again, he didn't get reported. But we kept an eye on him online, and when I saw that he was moving in on a girl with developmental disabilities from our old school, I knew I had to do something.
So I called the police department in that town. I told them I knew it had been too long to actually press charges. I just wanted them to keep an eye out, because everyone in town seemed oblivious to his true nature. They were very supportive. I like to think that they did keep an eye on him. I don't know for sure, but I can't tell you how good it felt to tell them everything I knew, to know that I did all I could, because I didn't back when I should have.

Unless the police are somehow involved, I can't see a scenario where telling someone about these people being hurt would make things worse. But that's your decision to make.
Good luck, and no matter what you choose, don't blame yourself. I know it cuts you up, but it isn't your responsibility, when it comes down to it. Do what you think is right.