divorce

Hello! Does anybody knows somebody that can help? My husband and I had done the marriage enritchments, therapy, trial separation, and everything there is to be done. I am terrified to leave him (it's too complicated to explain, you can see my posting under psychotherapy and abuse).
Is there a place I can go to start getting the courage and plan for a divorce instead of getting more tools to continue to survive in an relationship that can only hurt more and more and more...
I don't want somebody to tell me what I need to do so my marriage survives, I want somebody to help me figure out what I need to do so I survive...

gab

Hello gloria

I don't have much first hand experience, but I wanted to say that I admire you for having tried to work things out and even more I admire you for doing what you have to to take care of yourself, and realizing when it is time to move on. Looking for help and advice shows that you are following through with that.

Others here have posted about Women's advocacy groups that may be able to help. Maybe a women's shelter could point you toward some advice as well. I'm sure the people here will jump in with more concrete suggestions.

A part of the fear is always the fear of jumping into the unknown, leaving a secure space even if that space is hurtful. The best way past that fear is to get the support of others (like the people on this board) and to get information about your options, make a plan, so that it becomes less "unknown." Good luck!

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--http://www.idexter.com

gab, I wish I had some advice to give you, but I am not knowledgable yet in that area. I admire you greatly for doing all that was to help make the marriage survive, but if it is not, then at least you can comfort yourself with the fact you tried, and you know maybe it is time to move on, it happens, and it is better for both than to fake a marriage that in reality has stopped existing. I feel for you, it must be hell to get the courage up to end it, but down the road it will give you both new avenues in life. . . a new life, and perhaps even a better quality of life, so saying goodbye to one another may actually be a good thing, life is too short to be miserable.
I wish you lots of luck with this challenge, but I am sure in the long run it will work out and you both can move on with your lives, even if it means being back to seperate, single individuals once again, divorce and end to a marriage doesn't mean an end to life, go out there and enjoy and live the rest of your life

((((((((((((((((((((( gab )))))))))))))))))))

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Hi Gloria, nice to meet you.

You seem to struggle.

Like : "I don't want somebody to tell me what i need to do so my mariage survives, i want somebody to help me figure out what i need to do to survive."

To me, it seems you're like in some kind of a stranglehold...

Would you like to feel bad all the rest of your life because you've not married the right man ?

The tone of your post seems quite alarming to me...

I can't give you any advice as for kids because i've none.

But to me, if you had the guts to write this down, that shows you will eventually find a solution even tough you might not like it.

Taking a decision can sound so scary, but you have to do it sometimes.

It's a gut decision call, and it is your call...

Sincerely,

Starbuck



Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad.

Hi gab,

I found this link, maybe it will help.

http://womansdivorce.com/

Choices, it's all about choices.

Thank you so much for the link you mentioned. It has lots of important information.

To everybody, it is very hard to stay strong, thank you for your words of encouragement.

gab