[eskielover]

I never in all my life would have thought that a simple (or not so simple) move away from California & to a very very small town in Kentucky would be my cure to depression & bad anxiety. It didn't get rid of anxiety, just the bad kind.

I have been away from here for quite some time...& came back with a post under the new members heading. Guess I wrote a too long & boring post about what I am going through so I only got a few people that even looked at it & a couple of closer people who responded

I have been amazed at what a change this last 2 months have made in my psychological condition. Being alone, taking care of myself & getting my house set up all by myself has showed me exactly what "I CAN DO" & what I wouldn't do when I was in California.

Here, I am a contractor, a carpenter, a mechanic (I took apart my new lawn tractor & installed the mulcher), a pool cleaner, a masonary person, a pressure washer (my decks were all green), a painter, an electrition (instaling new electrical boxes & switches), a plummer (my kitchen sink drain was backed up & the pipes were leaking), designing my horse area....the barn, the dressage arena, & the complete lay out & design that I am putting into the wooded acres at the back of my farm.....& probably dozens of other miscalenous tasks that come when you are complete by yourself.

I have the task of coordiating the painting, carpet laying, garding, gravel laying, & the overall design of my new farm. It is so exciting that I don't have time to even think about those past issues that were haunting me with the PTSD & the depression that has been going on for over 12 years. I have never felt better in my life. I am challenged & enjoying every minute of the day & looking forward to the next. I love being able to depend on myself & not being disappointed by someone that I am trying to depend on that is around me. I have bet the kindest people in the world. The people here are even better than family.....they care more than family cares & are always here for me. They are teaching me about the things I know nothing about & there isn't a day that goes by without learning at least 100's of new things.

I still get anxiety & now that I am sensitive to anxiety, I realize that the excited feeling I am getting is really good anxiety.....but it is getting things done, not paralizing me.

Anyway, it is good to be back.....I can't check up on everyone because so much time has passed, Hope things are going better for others here than they were when I left.

Take care,
Debbie

[SeptemberMorn]

Debbie, I'm not exactly happy that you moved so far away from me but I'm extatic that you are finally happy and are doing so well!

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((eskie)))))))))))))))))))))))

What a wonderful feeling it must be to be selfsufficiant (sp) and feeling better about it all too! You made the right move for you! It's so good to hear you are feeling better and living the life that YOU chose for yourself.

Hugssss
J

a woman can do anything........want me to bring my John Deere and spread the gravel for you??????

really, really happy for you!!!!!! xooxxo pat

[deborah42]

i was doing some reading and came across your story.it is great to hear that you are doing well.i m hoping i could get my depression under conrol its much better now and im sure i will.take care and keep smiling.

[eskielover]

Good to hear from you guys....

Tomi....I'm still just a phone call away.....will be back on July 13 to get all packed......will try to get a chance to stop by before I make the final move.

Pat...you can bring your John Deere over...can use all the help I can get to spread the gravel. That is the one thing I have found here. Everone is willing to help & they don't just say it....they DO it. I know you are a bit far to drive your John Deere here in reality.

I will be looking for a real tractor next year.....this year, my new little Troy-bilt (pony) lawn tractor will have to do. I needed to buy something inexpensive to get the grass cut. My farm was starting to look ragged & I couldn't leave for California with it looking like that. After all the mowing yesterday, it not looks like a park. Go figure, my first pony on my farm is a bright red lawn tractor. I had to laugh however. I was putting along in the low gear (have to go slow with the mulcher). I hit the end of a row as far away from the house as I could get & my pony ran out of gas. I had to walk all the way back to the garage to get the gas can.

Stupid me....I forgot to put on the insect repellant before mowing. I didn't get the 100's of chiggar bites I got when I first got here, but a got quite a # of bites.

I have one of my white eskies with me. I love this dog friendly area too. He goes everywhere I go (except into restaurants). He is definitely a good guard doggie, but he goes a bit far. When we first got here, he wouldn't let anyone near....now he is opening up & actually going up to people & sniffing until they try to pet him. He is getting much better. I told him if he was going to make it here in Kentucky....he would have to change his attitude from his California attitude. He is afraid to go outside at night to do his potty walk. He goes out as far as the porch light then constantly looks back at me & most of the time, he won't even go out if I don't come out with him. I can't wait until I get the rest of my babies with me.....& my horses.

I never realized what true happiness could be or that I could be the one that has it. I never imagined in my life that this small historical town that I looked at in the history books would ever be the place I call home for the rest of my life.

you sound wonderfully comfortable in your new home! Congratualations.

[(JD)]

Welcome back (((Eskielover))) You have been missed for sure (I know your name came up on some shout outs!?)

Yeah...I used to love my little bitty riding mower and how it helped me feel better by making something look good by my doing!

Go get that tractor! WB.

[bebop]

wb and welcome to the south! lol I know working at my place years ago was a great comfort to me and an escape for my depression. I tell you it just works wonders for the mind!