[Noitartst]

I there anyone here that has had experience escaping apathy?

Specifically, I know that it takes a plan to do things, but it also takes energy. I want help expressing and validating my anger to my family, starting with moral support. Oathbreaking is simply cowardly, contemptible, and cowardly. I've got two counselors providing some emotional support, but what I want is to start feeling, instead just suffering from vague numbness.

[Seascorpion]

Hi, listening to different music has often helped me reconnect with myself and feel something again.

Originally Posted by Noitartst

I there anyone here that has had experience escaping apathy?

Specifically, I know that it takes a plan to do things, but it also takes energy. I want help expressing and validating my anger to my family, starting with moral support. Oathbreaking is simply cowardly, contemptible, and cowardly. I've got two counselors providing some emotional support, but what I want is to start feeling, instead just suffering from vague numbness.

You're mixing a lot of feelings there and I'm not certain exactly what's behind the question. I have a kind of apathy that comes and goes recently although, for many years, it was my norm: anhedonia. Lack of interest/lack of pleasure - close enough. Because the anhedonia, for me, was a lack of many feelings, but not all; an almost complete rather than a vague numbness. There's probably a psychiatric term for it. Not psychopath or sociopath, nothing quite that drastic.

Until recently, I haven't been able to express anger in a healthy way; I still don't think that I am. But I'm lost when you say that you're looking for moral support for validating and expressing your anger to your family and then jump into oathbreaking and, from there, back to apathy.

Okay, I more than understand apathy, the lack of interest in, well, much of anything. And you don't want to use my escape technique, because it put me in the hospital and may do again.

But this anger – is it anger directed toward your family or a member of your family? You write that you haveemotional support, but I'm not clear why that would matter if you're lacking most emotional feelings? What's the source of your anger, other than being misunderstood?

It's the vehemence against oathbreaking that I find oddly placed. There's a big difference between saying "sweetheart, I lied. That dress does make your butt look big," and saying, "sweetheart, I broke my oath to you. I slept with your sister last night." The latter is contemptible, but it's the action rather than the admission that's cowardly and weak. The former may break your wife's heart for 30 minutes but it's unlikely to end the relationship.

It really doesn't matter that you may have a specific need to want to feel again. It's good to be able to realise that youare in a state of numbness, a state of apathy, and realise that what you're "not-feeling" isn't quite right. I know that the times (and they have been for an hour a day to years at a time) when I've been nothing but apathetic occur after I've been badly hurt and that I hide rather than risk being hurt once again.

That may be your reason, too. I don't know. If you feel that you may be able to be a bit more forthcoming in regards to your anger, your family and where oathbreaking comes into play, it would really help in connecting the dots. I jumped on here because of "apathy" in the title. Something I've experienced.

Call back when you can, and if you'd like.