[mrhdunn6]

This is my first post so I hope I do it right. I am over 50 and have never been able to live by myself, always either married (a couple times) or shared home with siblings. Living ny myself caused severe anxiety, social isolation was unbearable and I became physically debilitated and had suicidal thoughts.
I am now facing living alone and I'd rather be dead than go through that again. If I don't have human stimulation inside my home, I decline physically and emotionally. Anyone experience this?

You are not alone, most here feel the way you do. Get outside and do something, even if it is to go for a walk to the mailbox and back. tc

[brkn2ice]

mrhdunn6, I hope you find peace within this forum , You are not alone as there are many of us in the same situation.... I am ,so anytime you need to chat or just want to come over and message my page for convo please feel free to . Take care

[BLUEDOVE]

Yeah,me too. Try some books on self-esteem;if you can,
make donations to kids or other charity of choice; and
maybe most important,buy and start writing in journal.
In my experience,it's like having your own therapist.
Quote: "Everything depends on me".
Courage,
BLUEDOVE

[stewartmays1]

i am alone all the time due to being out of work and no friends ect i find having a plan of what you are going to do with your day really helps set out a rota of activity's you can do through the day.

[splitimage]

I volunteer at a Distress Centre Telephone Support Line, and I find that the majority of are callers, are extremely socially isolated, due to either physical or mental health issues. They call our line for social interaction with another human being and for emotional support. It's one of our important functions, as well as being a suicide crisis line.

You might want to investigate telephone support lines in your area, to see if there is something similar you could call.

splitimage

Originally Posted by mrhdunn6

... If I don't have human stimulation inside my home, I decline physically and emotionally. Anyone experience this?

Yes of course. Isolation is not meant for humans. For me I try to be around people as in a coffee shop from evening until late at night, especially at the weekends, because I don't interact with people at day time in these days.

[mrhdunn6]

Originally Posted by omegalamed

You are not alone, most here feel the way you do. Get outside and do something, even if it is to go for a walk to the mailbox and back. tc

I thought I was a freak of nature.

Things to get to help feel safer: alarm system, big dog, pepper spray, stun gun, large knife. Keep them by your bed.

I know this must be difficult and I'm sorry. This is a big change. I hope you get the support you need during this time.

[*Laurie*]

Since last May I have lived alone for the first time in my life. The isolation is miserable tome - at times, almost unbearable. One thing that has helped me is attending a NAMI support group once/week.

[eskielover]

I have been living alone for the last 9 years after a 33 year bad marriage & 21 years living with dysfunctional parents. I moved 2100 miles away from everyone I ever knew & knew absolutely no one when I moved here.

This alone time is a BLESSING. Initially a time for healing but in reality....my farm is my refuge for my needed down time from everything I have become involved with.

So many volunteer activities available. I got involved with the horse community which opened up lots of people to get to know & do things with. Trail riding & volunteer activities. Got involved with rescued stallions care & spent 3 months giving everything to that. Being alone I could. I got to know the county DA & the county judge/executor better through that & get more involved in animal rights & abuse cases. Met lots of people through that experience.

I now have a wonderful church family that are more like a family than I ever experienced before.

I enjoy doing activities & our woman's horse group is active including zip lining.

First thing when I moved here I was volunteering at the horse park then got involved with the decoration crew for the world equestrian games in 2010. Great team invited me to help every year with the annual eventing show. I had never been invited to keep coming back with a group before this...they are a special group of people.

Love ballroom dancing & got started with a group in the neighboring town. I bragged about how good it was so our own town art council invited the instructor to start teaching here.

Small town & everyone seems to have connections to each other. When you get involved somehow your name comes up & more things to get involved with.

I need my little farm & my alone down time to recooperate from all I'm involved with...it nice to have the me time I don't have to think about someone else because I know that I have things scheduled that I love to do with others.

I enjoy going to the extended care facility of the hospital. It's wonderful to spend time just listening to them & letting them know someone cares too. So many need our caring touch...but in giving we need our own down time to reenergize ourselves.

I love to come home to my farm that is JUST MINE.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by mrhdunn6

This is my first post so I hope I do it right. I am over 50 and have never been able to live by myself, always either married (a couple times) or shared home with siblings. Living ny myself caused severe anxiety, social isolation was unbearable and I became physically debilitated and had suicidal thoughts.
I am now facing living alone and I'd rather be dead than go through that again. If I don't have human stimulation inside my home, I decline physically and emotionally. Anyone experience this?

It sounds like your fear is mostly because in your life, that is how you lived and you never got a chance to truely be "on your own". It is normal that you have genuine fears and anxiety about this. It's something you never did so you don't know "how" and it is normal to be stressed and fearful whenever someone is facing doing something they don't know "how" to do and never tried it and don't know how they will fair at it. This is out of your "comfort zone" and a challenge like this is always "stressful". However, many people find that as they actually do it one day at a time, they begin to realize they "can" and as they realize that, they get more comfortable and find they "can" adjust to living alone.

I put on white noise in the background which helps a little bit. I force myself (it's hard to initiate it but once I do I feel so much better) to get out of my home for things like a walk or even to the mall to people watch. I started volunteering which gives me the feeling of not being alone, relieves the boredom, and gives me a sense of satisfaction. Finally I belong to a weekly mood disorder support group.

[1976kitchenfloor]

Originally Posted by mrhdunn6

This is my first post so I hope I do it right. I am over 50 and have never been able to live by myself, always either married (a couple times) or shared home with siblings. Living ny myself caused severe anxiety, social isolation was unbearable and I became physically debilitated and had suicidal thoughts.
I am now facing living alone and I'd rather be dead than go through that again. If I don't have human stimulation inside my home, I decline physically and emotionally. Anyone experience this?

Hello. Most of us dread experiencing things we have failed at in the past. We really are hard on ourselves! But, It doesn't have to be the way it went before.

To make the transition more successful you might want to make some plans for things that might help you feel more comfortable before you are actually on your own. Maybe you can join a group or club of some kind. Daily walks and exercise also help. Have outisde activites you can connect with set up before you are on your own, ok? Maybe you can do some volunteer work?

I wish you well. It sounds like you keep yourself in a shell. Its time to get out into the sunshine, Take care now.

[Pikku Myy]

I tend to agree with eskelover. I went thru a similar phase in my life with an very abusive and controlling person. I totally isolated myself, and guess what? I have found true me finally. It was far from easy and not a fast process. Be gentle with yourself, not so harsh

[handheart]

Well if you complain all day on how bad its your life it will not change ,try to leave this dangerous zone ,go outside admire the nature and be grateful because it will make you good .Ask yourself why you live this life ? risk a litle and move to another place find a job where you are surended by happy people but this people to accept you you must be happy yourself .

[lavaja]

I find comfort in being home alone. I live alone (with my dog) in a very secluded wooded area. I find that when out in company I become anxious never staying long. Even when friends come to visit *which is rare) I will wonder off to be by myself after a short while.

[1976kitchenfloor]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I have been living alone for the last 9 years after a 33 year bad marriage & 21 years living with dysfunctional parents. I moved 2100 miles away from everyone I ever knew & knew absolutely no one when I moved here.

This alone time is a BLESSING. Initially a time for healing but in reality....my farm is my refuge for my needed down time from everything I have become involved with.

So many volunteer activities available. I got involved with the horse community which opened up lots of people to get to know & do things with. Trail riding & volunteer activities. Got involved with rescued stallions care & spent 3 months giving everything to that. Being alone I could. I got to know the county DA & the county judge/executor better through that & get more involved in animal rights & abuse cases. Met lots of people through that experience.

I now have a wonderful church family that are more like a family than I ever experienced before.

I enjoy doing activities & our woman's horse group is active including zip lining.

First thing when I moved here I was volunteering at the horse park then got involved with the decoration crew for the world equestrian games in 2010. Great team invited me to help every year with the annual eventing show. I had never been invited to keep coming back with a group before this...they are a special group of people.

Love ballroom dancing & got started with a group in the neighboring town. I bragged about how good it was so our own town art council invited the instructor to start teaching here.

Small town & everyone seems to have connections to each other. When you get involved somehow your name comes up & more things to get involved with.

I need my little farm & my alone down time to recooperate from all I'm involved with...it nice to have the me time I don't have to think about someone else because I know that I have things scheduled that I love to do with others.

I enjoy going to the extended care facility of the hospital. It's wonderful to spend time just listening to them & letting them know someone cares too. So many need our caring touch...but in giving we need our own down time to reenergize ourselves.

I love to come home to my farm that is JUST MINE.

Hello. Reading this was so heart warming. You are really on the ball! Thanks for showing us what is possible - that we dont have to let the past or how we lived in the past restrict or define us or stop of us from creating a new and better future for ourselves. Good for you!