[Eleny]

I hit my boyfriend when I was angry a couple of times and it really affected him. Now I keep getting vivid flashbacks of it and I can't handle it. I also have started getting intrusive thoughts that I'm going to kill him which make me extremely upset. I don't know what to do, please help

I have flashbacks of my younger self of failures or things I shouldn't have done. Like forgetting to ensure the neighbour's birds had water.

[winter4me]

Don't beat yourself up----
Something is triggering this reaction---it needs to be explored and de-mystified. If you have a t. it is a perfect opportunity to work this out, if not it might help to note what else is going on when you have these thoughts/feelings/reactions; you may find a common denominator (eg: are you triggered into the past? does something in the relationship remind you of times you felt afraid/angry/helpless?...are there words?)
It can also help if you can (not easy) have something you do when these feelings/thoughts come on (take a run/walk/bake bread/make something/...)
And, be honest with the boyfriend if you do trust him.
But, don't let everything that is "wrong" be your fault either.
((((((((((((((((((((big hug)))))))))))))))))))