[seeker1950]

I'm posting this topic, because there are times I should have been angry, truly, but the times I actually get angry are so rare. I can actually count them on one hand for all my life and I'm age 56!
I just want to know how often others deal with anger!
Patty

I can get mad, but not angry.

Anger for me comes out in tears or I berate myself.

I equate anger with violence and that was a daily occurence in my house growing up and I feel if I get angry, I'm one of "them." Sigh. I know I have to let it out someday but that is scary.

[seeker1950]

Petunia...you bring up a very perceptive point here for me also, as anger was ever present in my own childhood home, while I was never allowed to express it myself!
I also turn the anger mostly on myself as self-blame.
I do recall vividly, after getting away from my home and experiencing the freedom of being on a college campus, the I experienced great, almost uncontrollable rage at having to return to the home environment periodically.
Of course, there was no one to relate this anger too, but I had private "fits!" I don't recall that I've ever experienced or expressed such anger since then, just become more accepting of limitations, I guess!
Patty

[Wants2Fly]

Anger, hardly ever in recent years. I'm not sure if it's because of more praying or because I'm all done with menopause. LOL

or because I'm all done with menopause. LOL



(Sorry Patty, off topic. I couldn't help myself.)

[seeker1950]

Not off topic at all! Done with menopause is a good point!
Patty

[mel4]

i get angry to the point in which I'd like to hurl things across the room or strangle the nearist living thing about once every week. it sure does suck when emotions like that are so intense.

mel

[eskielover]

Anger is a tough one for me......I find it hard to differentiate anger with being mad with being overly frustrated....it seems that they are all just different levels of the same emotion for me.

When I was in California around my husband, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't feel anger. When I get angry, mad, or even frustrated, I tend to LET IT ALL OUT!!!!....yell, rant, rave....totally loose my cool. I found when I was younger, if I kept it in, I would end up getting sick....really sick, & I couldn't do that to myself anymore, so I started to let it all out.

When I felt that someone treated me wrong or was trying to cheat me, I would jump on them & fight like a tiger. I have found that I try to settle differences a bit quieter but I get onto a problem situation immediately.....not like my husband who always takes the "wait & see" attitude. He usually gets into trouble with that attitude because he just lets things wait & get worse.

Now that I am in Kentucky, I don't know what anger is....or at least nothing like in California. I have to admit that last friday when I took my rental car back & was charged over $1,000.00 more than I was quoted, I was angry. I knew that the people at the counter couldn't do anything about the problem. I know I made jabing remarks to them as I left, but kept the anger loaded for the customer service on Monday morning. Keeping the anger in, did cause a horrible anxiety attack than made it hard to drive the several hours home from Louisville airport. I hadn't felt that frustrated & angry since I had left California, so I ended up breaking down in tears on the way home....making driving a bit difficult.

I have found that when I am not under the emotional stress I was under in California, I am much better able to handle the things that do come up here.....guess I am not so much on the edge that I go off at just the littlest thing, so even dealing with the Hertz customer service on Tuesday......wasn't as bad as I thought i would be.

I have had several other frustrating things happen here.....like fixing my pool wrong for several times in a row....I did leave a bit of an angry message on the phone voice mail & a note that I thought no one would read on the pool hose that was replaced wrongly. I saw the lady at Wal-Mart that owns the pool repair shop & we laughed about my message when I warned her about it......little did I know that the guy who was fixing my pool had received the message & was out fixing the problem when I was talking to her in Wal-Mart.

My internet connection was another frustration......When they first came out, they told me they needed a larger antenna to get the signal through my huge walnut tree....well 2 weeks later & nothing....so I went in to check.....they just got my wireless unit in, but never ordered the antenna....so they came out again to try & get a signal with what they had & ended up having to order the antenna....then came the excuses for how it was delivered wrong & then got lost & blah...blah....blah. Problem is they are the only internet provider that is reasonable compaired to the phone company.....I did tell them that if they weren't the only game in town, I would have already gone to someone else, but they really should straighten up their customer service act.

I have learned here not to be in any kind of hurry......it just isn't the way, & I don't have a problem with things being slow, just being wrong.

It feels so good to feel peaceful & not have those anger feelings I had in California.....when I get angry with my husband now....I just hang up on him & go back to my peaceful life as if he doesn't exist. It really has made me realize just how much energy anger can take out of you & how much energy, you can put into the anger. I don't like waisting my time or energy on those feelings & now that I have been away from it, I don't miss those feelings a bit.

Oh yes, I don't know if I am through menopause or not....it comes back every once in a while to let me know it isn't over yet.....they goes away for another 6 months......but don't think my anger was related to that at all, since I pretty much know what was pushing my buttons.

Interesting post to let me stop & think about those emotions,
Debbie

[DePressMe]

Anger for me is generally turned inside. I often don’t get angry at other people—even for the past abuse. In some ways I see anger as serving no purpose…but, I know a little bit of anger is healthy. Continuing to turn it inside on myself leads to self destructive behavior.

[Wants2Fly]

When I was younger, I had trouble expressing anger, tho' I sure did feel it. A shrink taught me to pound my pillow and later I started throwing dishware in a cement basement. Old bottles hit the wall and e*x*p*l*o*d*e -- that was very satisfying -- until I had to clean up the mess.

I agree with Eskie lover that anger uses up a lot of energy. Perhaps anther reason I rarely feel anger anymore is that I suffer from chronic fatigue and don't have much energy to spare for it.

[seeker1950]

I get ill if I feel anger, and as Depressme has stated, I too , turn it internally. During the school year with the middle schoolers, I maybe get angry less than a handful of times, and realize this is "unprofessional," and work it out, but other than that, I never get "angry."
I was raised to suppress anger and have internalized it ever since. Not sure this is healthy!
Patty

[Busysdizzy]

Anger is probably my biggest problem. I quick to get angry and if I am really angry the only thing that keeps me from killing is the thought of spending life behind bars. Sometimes my kids make me so angry I could strangle them....ok folks. I am not really going to do that. I just get really tired of being called a "F^&#'in B!+$#" over and over because I refuse to let them do something stupid or dangerous. If I had called my mother that I would have had my face slapped the first time and I would never had said it again. Now we can only talk to the kid and tell them it is in appropriate.
If murder was legal and temporary........

[Gemstone]

I don't get angry very much as it is a very scary emotion for me. Only recently have I been able to feel anger and not turn it inward.