I dont know where to put this, but here I go.

I have a multiple personality complex mainly due to the beginning 18 years of hell and a physical brain short coming...whatever. We are socially and privately challenged. In an out of relationships plus in public we are constantly snickered, mocked and laughed at.

We are finger pointed at for what we say, dress like, action, dim wittedness only because we switch nonstop and constantly. Imagine macho man you find yourself standing in checkout dressed in short shorts with painted nails, pink pastel colors, ankle bracelets and toe rings plus carrying a purse....get the idea?

We never match our body, and our body doesn't match who we are as individuals. We are unaccepted in out family, society, and inner life....but yet we won't self distruct...even though most wish we could but we can't.

I just want to die but it doesn't happen. How would you handle it?

Don't move this to dissociative disorders because I need fresh other input. My pride wants me to get even but most parts want to hide. What to do?

Any bit of common sense advise to give all of us?

Thanks.

[here today]

Don't know if this will help but all of you, welcome to the planet and human society. I only had DDNOS, undiagnosed most of my life and with a lot of control in my early life I could keep the "bad" parts from saying anything or acting out. So iI don't really feel like a part of human society either, but I know that both you and I are.

I do one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. My life has gotten a little better in the last few years -- still not so I want to live much, but not quite so intensely miserable all the time.

Getting even -- my revenge motive was intensely shut down (it was"bad") so I've just recently accepted it and now feel it. A lot of it wanted to be directed toward the mental health system, for various reasons I had a hard time accepting as valid. Writing about my experiences here on PC has helped. And being relatively accepted here has helped..

Common sense advice,- sounds like maybe you need more friends? PM me if you'd like to talk some more.

[o7854m328c46793]

Just stop caring about what others(most neurotypicals) think about you. Most neurotypicals are always going to act like a standard neurotypical.