[Yunieloveyu]

I always fell unique, and I hate this. I always wanted to be normal. Everything about me is different. At school I have no friends, except some classmates that always use me and nothing else. I want to be normal so that I can integrate. I have a lot of bad things that define my personality. And I am not talking about talking too much and things like that. I always think that I have a lack of imagination, due to the fact that at the art class I can not draw something normal like grass sky and some trees. I usually draw things like ghosts from different perspectives or abstract things. I always find the meaning in them but my art teacher and classmates find it ugly and with no actual meaning. And the fact that I preffer my drawings black and white doesn't help. Besides my lack of imagination, or normal imagination at least, I also have my little fantasy world where everithing that I like from cartoons or films become one and I can decide on what path they can go, and what I don't have in the real life gets in my world. And I know it is strange but, I think even that I am crazy. I like everithing that goes out of normal completely and things like that. And I know that isn't my motive but it will take so long to write why I think I am crazy so you can just trust me. And I know I am bad at words unlike my class but I hope this can resume a little of why I hate being unique.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Yunieloveyu : Welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Noticed this is ur 1st post, so Hello and welcome to PC!
Growing up I was always the weird kid, ridiculed, called stupid, crazy, irrational, stuck up, over reacting, liar, odd, off, not welcome, ostracized, and nothing I thought said or did was ever correct, just all wrong wrong wrong. Not just at school but home as well. ....in fact I m still disregarded as having any value. Does it hurt..yes. sometimes alot..... but, I never found my path to freedom either... thought when I turned 18, I was just gonna up and leave, didn't care where or how just as far away as possible...then life happened and I froze and became attached and increasingly dependent on my abusive tormentors...got back into the mind set that I could somehow make them understand who I was and that I had worth... Should've never 2nd guessed my self...it is my biggest regret. But hope maybe I and this amazing community, can help you understand and see your worth b4 , u allow the zombie brainless drones of society beat you down. ...
You are special. You are unique. Don't let your classmates or your art teacher tell you otherwise....cuz honestly, the majority of ur class is already conditioned into short sighted compliance...your mind your vision is innately perceived as a threat to all they have been indoctrined too. Very few of them will ever learn to evolve their minds...forget them. Your art teacher...well..idk what kinda community you live in..but if he/she had any true vision then (s )he would be mout in the world making art...so forget your art teacher.
All that matters is how you feel about yourself. If others did not put you down, then would you still be bothered or upset by your mind and views on life?.. besides, the social unpopularity ..do you find your thought to be harmful to yourself, others, or maladaptive and upsetting to your goals and daily functioning? Just because you don't fit into societies neat little box, doesn't nessecaryily mean that there is anything wrong or "crazy" about you. Free thinkers have not often been received well in their lifetimes. But in retrospect are often regarded as visionaries, pioneers, and even genius... Some of us who don't fit in are actually far more advanced even evolved in certain aspects of our minds abilities to function on such high levels that we are misunderstood and feared... because we threaten the status quo.... Don't take this as an evaluation or diagnosis. I am not a Dr or health professional of any kind. And some of the most intelligent and highly evolved minds do suffer from some form of mental illness...we maybe capable of amazing things and yet can barely function on the most basic self care levels... but I am a firm believer in nuturing strengths instead of focusing on weaknesses. We're I raised up instead of beatdown..it is possible that despite the areas and skills that I don't excel at, I still do know deep down in side that if my strengths were fostered..I would most likely be living a productive happy life with in my evolved skill sets. Just my thoughts,sorry if they sometimes go round in circles and end up becoming a goopy sloppy mess..My mind is not very organized these days. I hope you found some comfort in my words. And I hope you find much more here at PC Be Well Be Kind and Gentle with yourself..and Keep Writing!

[Nimportequoi]

Hello Yunieloveyu!
I know exactly what you mean by hating to be unique. I could have written practically every sentence of your post (which bears some irony in it... ). Everything about me is different, too, from my innate personality to banal things like what music I like, what teachers I like. A girl from school, not a friend, but rather some of the very view people I talk to at school at all, once said I always hate the teachers everyone likes and like those nobody likes.
When I tell people I feel that absolutely nobody understands me, they usually don't understand me. LOL. It sounds arrogant. But it's actually about the pain of feeling totally un-understandable, my actual weak point is the feeling that I'm incomprehensible, that I'm crazy, and weird, and probably even warped. So like you I wish I was just basic like everyone else, thinking like everyone else, so that I could feel normal and be understood.
I think this pain of feeling not understood is also what upsets you about other people not understanding what your pictures are meant to show? From what you write, it seems like you have an abstract sense for aesthetics and a very personal style in your drawings. At least your art teacher should appreciate that!
What you say about your own little fantasy world sounds familiar to me too.... have you ever heart of the term "Maladaptive Daydreaming"? The name sounds judgemental, but if you look into it there are lots of forums for people who have it. There's also a social group for daydreamers on PC, maybe you want to check it out:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/groups/daydreamers.html
P. S. Welcome to PC

[active]

Hello Yunieloveyu,

I visited this forum for my own problems but after reading your post I have realized I am not the only one who caught in these situations.
I am 3d sculptor, sometimes after hours of work I can't produce any positive outcomes, that happens when we are not in contentment.
No one can understand us only we can understand our kind and others.
I can help you and don't worry things always get better.
I suggest you please don't get hopeless

Hello,



Please contact a Community Liasion if you have any questions or concerns.

Sincerely,

Rainy

P.S.: please keep the conversation flowing. I see we have two new members in this thread and I wanted to extend an official welcome!

[active]

Originally Posted by Lost_in_the_woods

Growing up I was always the weird kid, ridiculed, called stupid, crazy, irrational, stuck up, over reacting, liar, odd, off, not welcome, ostracized, and nothing I thought said or did was ever correct, just all wrong wrong wrong. Not just at school but home as well. ....in fact I m still disregarded as having any value. Does it hurt..yes. sometimes alot..... but, I never found my path to freedom either... thought when I turned 18, I was just gonna up and leave, didn't care where or how just as far away as possible...then life happened and I froze and became attached and increasingly dependent on my abusive tormentors...got back into the mind set that I could somehow make them understand who I was and that I had worth... Should've never 2nd guessed my self...it is my biggest regret. But hope maybe I and this amazing community, can help you understand and see your worth b4 , u allow the zombie brainless drones of society beat you down. ...
You are special. You are unique. Don't let your classmates or your art teacher tell you otherwise....cuz honestly, the majority of ur class is already conditioned into short sighted compliance...your mind your vision is innately perceived as a threat to all they have been indoctrined too. Very few of them will ever learn to evolve their minds...forget them. Your art teacher...well..idk what kinda community you live in..but if he/she had any true vision then (s )he would be mout in the world making art...so forget your art teacher.
All that matters is how you feel about yourself. If others did not put you down, then would you still be bothered or upset by your mind and views on life?.. besides, the social unpopularity ..do you find your thought to be harmful to yourself, others, or maladaptive and upsetting to your goals and daily functioning? Just because you don't fit into societies neat little box, doesn't nessecaryily mean that there is anything wrong or "crazy" about you. Free thinkers have not often been received well in their lifetimes. But in retrospect are often regarded as visionaries, pioneers, and even genius... Some of us who don't fit in are actually far more advanced even evolved in certain aspects of our minds abilities to function on such high levels that we are misunderstood and feared... because we threaten the status quo.... Don't take this as an evaluation or diagnosis. I am not a Dr or health professional of any kind. And some of the most intelligent and highly evolved minds do suffer from some form of mental illness...we maybe capable of amazing things and yet can barely function on the most basic self care levels... but I am a firm believer in nuturing strengths instead of focusing on weaknesses. We're I raised up instead of beatdown..it is possible that despite the areas and skills that I don't excel at, I still do know deep down in side that if my strengths were fostered..I would most likely be living a productive happy life with in my evolved skill sets. Just my thoughts,sorry if they sometimes go round in circles and end up becoming a goopy sloppy mess..My mind is not very organized these days. I hope you found some comfort in my words.

I read your post several times in last few day to help myself out in similar situations like you. Just want to know, how are you now ?